Today I lost the reason to smile

Today is Independence Day for Malaysia. I would like to say, I love my country so much, love the people, the unique culture, the natural beauty , the food, and many many other more.
After an emotional chat with one of my friends who still apparently staying awake in the midnight in Malaysia, then i only found out that 'proud' and 'happy' are two different feelings on this special day.
Why? He threw me this question: ' Are you not feeling proud to be a Malaysian?' For God's sake, i love my country so much, how can i not be proud to be a part of this beloved homeland? then i think about his question can further sounds like 'how can you be proud and at the same time (today, the significant day) you are unhappy?'

First, i have to identify what am i proud of and the reasons why i feel proud. From the bottom of my heart, i realise that it's the LOVE for this land that i was borned in and lived in for so long, accounts for everything beyond rational. I am proud of the country which is supposed to be, but i am deeply concerned and worried about the current situation of the nation, the way the administration is running and its ability to handle various social problems and crisis now (which i am ashamed of) . In the end, it turns out to be my worries override my happiness (which supposed to be), makes me not feeling happy on this day. I don't know -- how can i be happy while i have worries that look so vivid and threatening?

What am i worrying? I think it's better to suppose to start with who should i be worried about.

I worry about the safety and security of my love one, my family and my friends walking on the street, day or night. I can't let them to be exposure to the unpredictable danger ahead. As the crime is seemed very prevalent nowadays, the police force doesn't convince the public about their ability to protect the citizen (even though they should have enough number to keep society in order - according to the report of Royal Commission on the police ). What can i ask for more if a basic task and duty they can't even fulfil the public expectation , instead they are trying to spend time to find out the absentee of National Service, arrest those who didn't pay traffic fine, invade into rock gig venue and arrest the youngsters and labelled them as black metal followers (my younger brother got into this)? While on the outside when we need more police to patrol to ensure the safety of the neighbourhood, however robbery,thievery, rape, murder, fighting are still on the rise, frightening people. What is the sincerity of the Police and Government if the Independent Police Complaints and Misconduct Commission can't even established, let alone other 124 recommendations in the report of Royal Commision on the Police?

On the economic side, our citizen are experiencing more living expenses pressure. Petrol price is on the hike, all kind of bills fee increases but the ordinary people's salary does not increase correlately. The economy is still a mess, the essence of New Economic Policy still haunting all malaysian, as few know this would only benefits to crononies and few people, not to majority of people. While Malaysia is started to lost the attraction to foreign investors, our dear miss Minister of International Trade and Industry still can act so arrogant, telling the foreign investors to go back home and not to come here to invest if they don't comply with our Positive Affirmative Discrimination economic policy that enforces 30% bumiputera share stakeholders. The economy doesn't look good now, it exerts some pressure and effects on me as well. As my father is a businessman, one of the most vulnerable to economic changes, i still have at least 2 years to continue my studies in UK (if i pursue my Master degree later on), i will be worried because i'm not a government sponsored student. The tutorial fee here is untoleratable high, trust me (not sure many of you know this). Furthermore my brother is planning to go overseas to USA next year to further his studies. I am worried whether my father's business can carry this burden.

I worry about the job opportunity and the salary after i am graduated. It is no joke. I need to figure out how to face the challenge ahead, most probably living in urban area, to sustain the need of myself and perhaps my future spouse and family. There are some voices going into my head these days that perhaps after i finish my Master degree, i should continue my phD (if i'm sponsored) to remain competitive in job or profession searching in my country. Every year the local universities produce many Master and phD students for the market and labour sector. Since the local university standard/quality has gone down a lot, this affects the value of the labour/employee. I will be one of the victims too, can't say that i'm graduated from Imperial College London, then i can demand the salary i think i suppose to have. What is the situation of local university now? ask your friend, you will know more or less, or perhaps read the news about what's happening in local universities nowadays. All the fools are still occupying the top academic jobs of the university, without convincing qualification but just loyalty pledge to ruling political party. But hey, our malaysian don't deserve this undervalue potential in each and everyone of us, just because of the current failure system of higher education.

I worry a lot more too... the threat to the preserving the unique and diversity of cultures and languages. I am afraid that my next generation will lose the chance to learn proper chinese education in our education system. There are always plots under the current ruling party to transform the chinese education to somewhat less significant than just one-Chinese-language-subject-only school. It's undergoing in MCA's plan of '6-2-4-2' to tranform the Chinese school, dividing and misleading the chinese community.

I worry that one day, the racial tension built up to an unimaginable level, due to the racial politics that promote disintegration and 'divide and rule' and work to discourage the real unity by inciting racial hatred for their political needs (they need this old trick now and then to save their political life). But many malaysian still live in the racial framework that set by them, following those racial sentiments, never really know the real intention of them and get played by them. I feel sad. Actually many racial issues are not really happening, are just a game or a show by those irresponsible politicians. I hate racism.

I always say that Malaysians are kind, hardworking, law-abiding, enduring and often innocent people. We have fruitful national resources and reserves, compare to many developed countries. South Korea and Taiwan were economically underperformed than us few decades ago, now they are leading us, leaving us far far behind. And now they are also more democratic (statistic often shows that democracy level correlates to the performance of the nation). I don't think that Malaysians deserve this. We should be at least on par with Taiwan and South Korea now.

Above are all my mixture feelings on the National Day, that explains the first time i lost the smile on this special day. My worries reflect my concerns for my beloved country. Sometimes i feel frustrated that why many of my friends do not really bother about this - if they do, why don't they show the same concern as me, and have the awareness for many current issues (social-politics issue) ? Without the awareness of most people, how to form a civil society that raise the level of democratic participation, check and balance the almost-dictatorship like government and draconian law, to push for a change? We need not to be a politician to push the agenda we want-- we all bear the same responsibility to build a better society. We can't just expect or hope for people to do the right things for us, we must be a part of the change. Just like you would never let people to control your own fate of life, you want to be the master of your own fate. Nothing comes for free, even to obtain democracy we have to pay a price, or else we pay for an even higher price for our future generation.

I don't worry for nothing , and i am not a natural pessimist ( i bet all my friends know my personalities)- that's why i urge my friends to show your constant care for our country, read more balance news articles (not only from the mainstream newspaper). We must get to know more about our own country , before we can say how much we love it. We must show that, we love it because we care. : )

反思国庆日的意义

马来西亚独立至今已迈向49年了，明天就是国庆日。对于年轻一辈的我们，这到底存在着什么意义呢？又是一天假期？是逛街购物的日子？抑是可以躲在家里睡大觉或看马拉松电影的时候？
我觉得应该是时候研究和探索正确的历史轶事，抛开歪曲真相的历史教科书教义和成见，才能体会到我国马来西亚建国的意义-过去，现在和以后。 让我担忧的是，到底多少年轻人拥有较正确客观的历史观，而了解到如今很多普遍存在的误解和偏见。我也在想，到底多少人真正在乎这些真相和想法？

日前，我在独立新闻网站和《当今大马〉阅读到不少深具反省意义的文章，我觉得应该拿出来与你们大家一起分享。为了使那些未订购当今大马的朋友也可以阅读到这一篇文章，我希望该篇文章的作者（其实我认识的）不会介意，当然还有希望当今大马的编辑可以高抬贵手，谅解我的好意，别告我侵犯版权。
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
青年人要如何反思国庆？
李凯伦整理Aug 23, 06 7:49pm

国庆的意义是多么的贫乏，内容是空泛而且很多时候只停留于表面而已。明显的例子在于政府只会呼吁民众高挂国旗，以表示大家都很爱国。这是出席青年组织Youth for Change (Y4C)在上周六(8月19日)假槟城校友联会所举办的“马来西亚独立再思考”讨论会上所取得的共识。 这场一国语为媒介的讨论会成功吸引三大种族的青年出席，各个参与者都发表他们对独立的看法，更毫无顾忌的触及所谓"敏感课题"如马来人特权、新经济政策、独立斗士等课题。这显示马来西亚青年其实具有讨论课题的能力，只是需要更多的平台和机会，而不是避而不谈，扫到地毯下。

独立的深层意义 马来亚在1957年8月31日从英国手中获取独立，在1963年9月16日更纳入砂拉越、沙巴和新加坡而成立了马来西亚。这似乎表示马来西亚已经成为一个独立自主的国家，免于英殖民的影响，更可以自己主宰国家的命运。 然而，独立的意义是不是只停留在国家主权。除了进行抗争争取独立之外，我们也必须探讨国家的制度是否有达到人民期望?国家的独立又能否表示政权能够保护人民的权益，还是反转过来打压人民? 为何要独立?如果独立只是为了要有自己的国旗、国歌、国家元首等象征，那么独立的意义到底有多大?

为谁而独立?如果独立只是从英国的统治精英转手到本地的统治精英，那么独立对于我们是否有意义? 为什么我们需要独立呢?独立是不是可以让人民受益?当初为了争取独立而牺牲自己的先贤，到底他们是为了什么?如果他们看到今天的马来西亚，会不会是他们所要看到马来西亚? 独立至今接近半个世纪，人民是否有独立?我们能不能摆脱殖民主义的影响?就以英殖民地所遗留下来的一些恶法，如内安法令、紧急法令等宰制民间的想法，直到今天，我们的民选政府还是继续用这类的恶法来对付自己的人民。

分而治之继续扎根

除此之外，英国殖民地所进行的分而治之的种族政治，来到今天我们的种族关系还是那么的脆弱。只要有人提出一些有关种族课题如马来人特权，或者槟州首长各族轮任的议题，整个国家的神经线就像被注入了刺激素，国阵成员党纷纷站出来作戏，各自为自己的族群奋斗。 经济因素是主要的分而治之的原因。回顾历史，英国人之所以要在马来亚用分而治之的方法来统治，就是要方便统治及维持社会稳定来榨取国家的资源。英国人把马来人精英纳入行政，其余多是务农种稻。至于华人，一直被认为是外来移民，便专注于商业和采矿行业。而印度人便多是在园丘或者修建马路铁路的工作。 这种的分化，其后果就算到今天还是那么的明显。就算独立后，为了巩固当权者的政权，这类的统治手法还是被继续。马来人特权便是一个政治诠释，目的在于分化所有马来西亚人，方便当权者继续管治这个国家。

其实，513事件过后所延伸而出的新经济政策，整个问题还没有一个具体的调查报告，这件事件似乎无法被理性的讨论，更可怕的是在《种族关系》课程中却有偏差的判断，直接把矛头指向反对党的胜利。这将令我们永远无法从错误中学习，反而一直停留在这样的阴影，一直被当权者用来阻止公民社会进行理性讨论及寻找答案。 马来西亚的种族课题已经不再是简单的种族之间的问题，但是随着种族主义的制度化，透过各种政府政策如固打制、马来人特权、股票拥有权等，已经让种族偏见根深蒂固。

青年对话是出路

要解决这个问题，青年人必须知道什么才是理想的大马社会。我们都了解各族之间的谅解、和谐与进步的关系是非常重要。关键在于如何去实践。是不是透过国家的介入，用强制的手段来达至社会和谐?还是推出一个单一的语言、文化、与教育政策来达到国民团结的目的? 因此，青年人在扮演推动社会和谐的角色是举足轻重的。透过沟通与对话，青年将可以加强对不同种族的认识。青年不用背负太重的历史包袱，只要大家可以用理性、成熟与建设性的基础来讨论国家的未来，理想的大马社会并不会离我们太远!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
我又忍不住介绍这一篇由杨白杨在《当今大马》撰写的文章：

面对独立斗争历史
杨白杨Aug 30, 06 6:21pm

我也爱国。我从来不反对国人摇国旗，喊国号；不反对老百姓家里挂国旗迎国庆，我也不反对政党领袖种国花宣传他们的爱国情操。这是他们的权利，我们要给予尊重。不要批评他们做表面功夫。

只要是国民，即使是贪官污吏，都有表现爱国的权利，一个大贪官被枪毙之前要唱最后一次国歌，难道我们要阻止他吗？让他唱吧，反正他唱一百万次都不能改变他是贪官的历史事实。 我们尊重市井小民和政客的各种爱国方式。然而对英明神武又爱读书学习的政治领袖，我们的要求高一点点。他们不能像庸俗的政客那样在记者面前种国花，或者在家里挂国旗就算，他们应该站在一个更高的位置来对待国家独立的各种问题。什么问题呢？

有关国家独立的问题多了。有人问，如果日子没有过得比刚独立时好，争取独立来做什么？独立前可以做的事情，如果现在不能做了，不要独立不是更好吗？如果和独立国家一起诞生的国家宪法没有受到尊重，甚至不可以谈论，独立还有什么意义？一连串的问题，叫人透不过气来。

政治领袖要回答这些问题，首先要认真学习历史，这是他们的工作和责任，我不会花时间和精神去帮他们。我的好朋友黄永安比我宽怀大量，他不和政治领袖们计较这些，他在回教党党报网站《哈拉卡在线》看到该党中央研究中心撰写的重点评论文章：“重写独立斗争历史：一个正义的诉求”，就马上在《当今大马》通风报讯，加以报导，让我国那些不屑看回教党党报的政治领袖开开眼界，学一点有关国家独立斗争历史的新知识。

根据黄永安的报导，回教党这篇重点评论文章确认马来亚共产党在抗日抗英战争中，对独立的诉求，扮演一定角色。文章指出：“在日治时期，陈平和他的战友们是最勇于抗日的一群；他们在高山密林，以天为被，以地为铺，对日本展开武装抗争，为争取真正的独立，功绩怎能被否定？”文章也说：“马来亚共产党的斗争并不局限在抗日战争；他们也对英殖民地主义者展开武装斗争，争取独立。”

好了，我只敢抄这么一点点。其余的，有学问的政治领袖们应该自己去看，去分析，去思考，不同意这些内容的话，勇敢一点，站出来反驳，反驳得好，可以立大功；万一你同意这些内容，那么，对不起，你要更勇敢一点，也站出来告诉国人，你是一个尊重历史的人，你同意重写独立斗争历史，你同意这是一个正义的诉求。 如果你同意不同意都不敢站出来，我告诉你一个好办法，有记者追问到你的时候，你说：“我从来不读历史，无从奉告”。你也可以说：“过去的不要去谈它了，我们要向前看，不要向后看”，这样，你也就过关了，你继续唱国歌、摇国旗、喊国号、种国花，继续骂国人不爱国，因为他们没有挂国旗。
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

还有三篇非常值得一读的文章：
1）种族主义泛滥的49年
2）重写独立史还原史实
3）要爱国请先认识宪法制约强权


读完了这些文章后，然后再来想一想到底国庆日快不快乐。

Photos & Stories

For the past 3 weeks, i went for trips during the weekend, within UK. I didn't plan it that way, but it's so coincidence that all sites that i visited are related to seaside. Maybe this just reveals my preference for seaside and beaches (spelling check...no prob! :P) Well, maybe it's only when summertime. A little bit of sunshine will do me good, makes me feel more like home. :)

Just like last time, i uploaded the photo albums of my trips to Brighton, Cardiff and Lulworth Cove, with captions and descriptions.

Here is the link:
http://cheehan85.multiply.com/photos

Enjoy!

回家前夕

近来，我觉得自己真的活像个游牧人（nomad）。这两个月来，一共搬了两次。昨天，我又‘搬家’了。原因是我的朋友要去爱丁堡‘打工’三个星期，但却已还了房租至九月尾。他找我顶替他的个人房，并承诺给我打折扣至我现在一半的房租。那太好了！他的房间就在我的楼上，三楼。比较辛苦的是要将所有的行李搬上去，因为这里的学生宿舍没有电梯。我想，高兴的人还有我的那位早睡的英国人室友，现在又可以占霸整间双人房了。我也省掉了麻烦，晚上再也不必为了迁就他而把自己逼进厨房。再况且，我们的感情已转淡了，没有什么好谈的，有的也只是你我敷衍几句的客套话--我不喜欢这样的谈话，偏偏英国人给我的印象却是如此，他们假装的礼貌和热情让人觉得陌生得可怕。

也发觉在这两个月，我收拾了行李又卸下它来，前前后后不少过6次了（包括旅行的那几次），而且还不是最后一次--因为两个星期后，我就要回老家了！

似乎生命就像需要永无止境，周而复始地拿起和放下行李--带它上路，到未来未知的旅程。该是时候走，就得收拾包袱，有怨言都是徒然的。你也会发觉，原来不是所有的东西你都想带走，也不是所有想带走的东西你都可以拿得完。生命有时是要懂得取舍的，某些事物要拿得起放得下，不然你就会走得太累，无法顺利地完成行程。别让扛在你肩上的行李成为了你的负担。

（我也是时候要懂得选择割舍一些行李带回去了-发觉自己有会越拿越多东西的潜质）

I like blue~

Blue, to me, it represents
1) beauty in calm and peaceful way,
2) life and nature - sky, water, sea, lake,stars...
3) good feelings - light and easy, cool and windy like gentle breeze, so comforting and soothing
4) Personalities - Straight, frank, sincere and true to yourself, (sometimes it just reminds me of a trademark song for this-- '因为我蓝' by 张泽。）
5) relaxing music - jazz, blues, nighttime bed music

In practise,
1) I have blue colour from top to toe - blue suit, trousers (jeans), shoes, socks, now even equip with blue strap watch, blue frame glasses -- actually i like to match blue and white together, make me feel like closer to the sky and sitting on the clouds. There's one time i even wanted to dye my hair in blue colour.

2) In fact, i rarely listening to jazz and blues music... but many good music present me with imaginary blue colour and feelings. Most of the time, the music genre that i like -- emo is blue .

3) The only thing i don't like in blue, especially when it comes to political colour. Blue is always associated to right-wing, conservative group - eg. Conservative Party UK, etc. I hate them, think that they are quite obstinate and over-prestige themselves, self-indulged and lost touch with the majority people. I hate dark blue even more -- this is the colour associated with corruption -- Barisan Nasional, Kuomingtang, etc. Enough said.

4) Aiyah...this is not true lar... film in blue colour? *cough*cough* i have sore throat and bad cough...sorry, no comment. :P

5) And recently i support my local football club in UK -- Chelsea FC. (yeah, shoot me, i know many of my football fans friends would like to...) There are million reasons why i support Chelsea, but one particular one is, they are BLUEs !!!!! hahaha....



( i just went to see Chelsea match live in Millennium Stadium, Cardiff, last Sunday, against Liverpool for Community Shield. I know they lost eventually - quite disappointed at first 'cause this is my first time watching them, (maybe this won't be my last time), but hey, i heard, the winner of this Shield has 80% chances not to become the champion in Premiership League. Well, good luck then, Liverpool, see who laughs at last. Anticipating the new season with the new addition of players - Michael Ballack and Shevchenko. )

Black and Thick face... cannot tahan!!!

This article is from Merdekareview.com today. Below only shows the interesting part,which i would like to laugh about...

与此同时，马哈迪也为他执政时的人权记录辩护；他说他从来没有基于政治理由而援引1960年内部安全法令扣留任何人。
“在（1987年）茅草行动，我可以告诉你，我曾经告诉林吉祥，他不会被捕；但是后来警方逮捕他，我不能叫警方别抓他，因为他们有他们的理由这么做。”在1987年的茅草行动中，警方逮捕了106名异议份子，内政部也吊销了三家报纸的出版准证。当时，马哈迪兼任内政部长。
“当时他们玩弄华人种族情绪，所以他们被扣留。不是政治因素，我没以内安法令扣留政治上的反对派，我释放他们。”

I wonder how 'thick face' one can become. This surely exceeds the level that i can accept, makes me laugh soooooo loudly..LOL hahaha...

God knows what you did, Dr. Mahathir. What you did in the past will go down to the history book one day. Don't be '50 steps laugh at 100 steps' (chinese idiom), you are (or were) as corrupted as current administrator, if not worse. Not only both of you now, but many more BN party leaders are in the queue, we malaysian citizen would like to know whether you all have anything to do with corruption. Okay, Dr. Mahathir, you may still do your job to expose more corruption cases, c'mon, we really want to listen more from you. Right now, you still have the 'great use' to serve for our country one last time before your time is up. Good luck!

Some thoughts about blogging

部落格是你为自己而写的。你想写些什么，不想写些什么，或者想用些什么语言，都可以--只要这是你想做的。
当然，如果你觉得你要为其他人而写，也可以。不过，不需要强求喔！自然地想，当时想要用什么语言表达出来，就用什么语言。我就是如此，于是你就看到我的Rojak部落格，目前三种语言都有，非常典型的马来西亚式。（迟点可能考虑写德文来自己爽，哈哈！）

you write who you are in the blog world, for yourself especially. This space is your space, like your house is your house, you can do whatever you like to do.
You can write anything you want to, not writing anything you don't want to, or use any language you feel comfortable with... as long as you feel like doing so.

Of coz, if you think of writing for someone to read due to your courtesy, you may do so too. Tapi, jangan paksa sendiri lar... Ikut suka hati kamu (kalau kamu suka saya pun boleh ikut saya..kakaka).

By that time , when you are feeling right at expressing something in that particular language, just let it be natural, write down what do you want to express, which you think can express the best!

If you see my blog, then you know what's called a typical Malaysian Rojak blog. Currently it holds 3 languages. (but i have my principle -- i don't like to mix language in one article if not necessary).
Later, perhaps i will add my German language, for 'shiok sendiri' ...hahaha

I suggest those who don't understand any language (maybe my German in future), go look up for online translation (plenty of them nowadays - it is just so easy to do it, since you're already online, no excuse), or study that language in order to understand it lor...

***(originally posted at another friend's blog comment section-- i think i have points and thoughts to share, that's why i repost it here)

学习方式。做功课。往事一段。

每一个人都有自己的一套与众不同的学习方式。不一定平常适用于大部分孩子的方式，对某些孩子是有效的。

对于做不做功课，我本人有不一样的看法。教学应回到教学本质--叫孩子们做功课是为了什么？

如果做功课可以让孩子们温故知新，加强对某一方面知识的认知，那么这是无可厚非的，我认为那是有起着一定的作用的。最重要的是，该功课的用意或目的 -- 如果太过简单或死板的（比如生字抄写），学生未必会用心去做，那么，学习的作用就少了。（当过小学生的我们，也应该有感受吧！？匆匆忙忙地赶功课，只为了完成而完成…甚至还有朋友比赛谁先写完）要加深学生对某新事物的印象最后储存至长期记忆，除了让学生反复演绎该知识在脑海里，还需让他们感受到该知识的意义和用处—这样才能激起他们学习的兴趣。我们的大脑是有选择性记忆的，只会吸收认为有需要的讯息，淘汰其他看似占位没用的讯息。就像要你死记硬背几组不知从哪儿来的电话号码，你也会先问‘干吗？’，然后对那些号码的记忆效果比较差，印象很快就会模糊了（因为你是在被动记忆，不是情愿的）。但是，如果我告诉你，那是你的女(或男)朋友的电话号码，或者是追债人（‘大耳聋’）的号码（看到了要逃或挂或装死的），你一定会印象深刻，无论是多难记都会去记。我本人是不赞成hafalan等等硬硬一字一句的死记方式，以心理学的角度坦白地说，效果不会好。

但是，如果功课的挑战性或难度太高或太复杂，孩子们也会失去耐性,最后也就没有学习到些什么了。

小结一句，学习不一定要做功课，做功课未必是学习。

为何我顿时会有感触呢？

因为我想起一位失去联络已久的小学朋友。他本人外表看起来亲善乖巧，性格稍微内向。问题是他常常不交功课，他的名字对所有老师来说可真比当时流行的四大天王歌星还要红。 很多老师在课堂上在众目睽睽的情况下，对他怒吼，打的打，骂的骂，打到他死去活来委屈地放声一哭的也不少次。但是，他还是依然故我，没有任何改善。老师唯有继续打骂，好像没有别的办法了（也有一些老师最后选择放弃，不理睬他--切记，教育人的大忌莫过于放弃教育人的机会）。对于几乎当时（甚至现在）所有小学生和老师来说，没有做功课或没有交功课，就有很多的‘同义词’=懒惰，坏学生，骗子（通常都会编造藉口的，总不可能说，是的，因为我懒惰，或者很有性格地说，我不要做）等等，好像犯了滔天大罪。然后，这些孩子在学生朋友面前抬不起头，通常都会被排斥于主流群体内，受到歧视和被逼选择孤僻—这样的‘教育方式’只会对他的健康人格的塑造带来无可扭曲的破坏。

可是，当时相信不少老师和学生都会有注意到一点-- 他的考试成绩相当不错，属于中上的水平，偶尔甚至挤得进十甲以内，令不少观察者惊讶至满地都是眼镜碎片。他的国语（马来文）尤其是好，还有一次获选代表学校到校外参加国语笔试，过后更上一层楼至全国赛。但是，他竟敢得罪我在小学时期公认最凶最可怕的Cikgu Pua，不交不做她的功课，真是吃了豹子胆。说真的，当时我的马来文还真的比不上他呢！

记得有一次，在偶然的情况私底下遇到了他，就向他问个究竟。我发觉，当我尝试接近他关心他时，他的眼神突现出喜悦和希望（我是其中几个还有与他说话交流的）。他说，他真的是没有做功课。再问他为什么？他给我这一辈子都会记得的答案：‘因为我在读书！（所以没有做功课）’我当时瞪大了眼睛，这答案出乎我的预料之中。我原以为是家境问题。过后接下来再问道：‘为何不跟老师讲？’。他眼睛望下，摇摇头说：‘老师是不会相信我的。’可怜。当时的我只懂得同情他而已，不知最后有没有其他人（包括老师们）知道真实情况。

没有做功课也可以把书读好，他的确是与众不同，可是委屈他了，让他付出昂贵的代价。教育人有很多种方式，不能走捷径，不能不重视少数‘另类’的人。用错了方式可以毁掉人的一生。

给一位正在担任临教的朋友，
我在这里长篇大论，只是抒发我的个人感想，然后与你分享我的看法而已，没有指正你什么。

那位为了家庭生计而没有做功课的学生也相当可怜的。你一定要尝试帮助他，耐心地教导他，尽可能让他在教堂上学会东西，然后私底下为他解决功课负担，也务必要让其他老师知道这点，这样才不会冤枉了他。

我相信你会做明智的决定的。

我有所感触，是因为最近假期自修心理学，学到了不少东西。我觉得，当你以后不忙的时候，回到你的大学去借一本（入门级）心理学课本吧！然后有空就去阅读它，你一定也会学到不少，改次（如果有）回到来教书也一定会以不一样的角度去看待你的学生们了，改善一些不大适合的传统教学方式。

（此篇文章原刊载在我朋友的部落格的意见箱里）

Monkey !!!

These days many people are not that happy... i don't know why. Yesterday, i have to do my part to comfort few people in parallel during MSN chatting session (while i'm still in my working hours... no i didn't 'curing tulang' (tou lan),just that i have some free time before i proceed to the next lab procedure)

That's one friend she said she was so stressed and fed up. Then as usual, i asked her to cool down, and said perhaps i should do something to cheer her up. I didn't prepare anything in my mind, just randomly pop up saying if i do monkey dance, or sing monkey song, which one could make her feel happier? She responded eagerly, and insisted that i must do it. That time i was checking the emotion icons,(i was only using MSN Web messenger, with limited icons ) suddenly thinking about an idea of creating the MONKEY DANCE... and it goes like this...

-han- says:

(background first)

-han- says:

(need someone to take pic as a proof that i've done it)

-han- says:

(to time the dance... hope i don't go overtime)

-han- says:

(serve u a cup of coffee, as u r watching this)

-han- says:

(maybe a hp when u want to share this funny dance show with ur friend..and laugh about that)

-han- says:

(definitely u need to film it to record it down)

-han- says:

(put some hot dancing music pls... to make it more lively)

anonymous says:

good show

-han- says:

(when the sun rises, it's almost time)

-han- says:

( u willl find that u would need an umbrella coz it's too hot)

-han- says:

(why don't u have another coffee again?)

anonymous says:

wasai

-han- says:

(then the plane arrives... the dancers step out of plane and get into )

anonymous says:

gastric ,cannot drink

-han- says:

( i need someone to cheer up first before we step on the stage... to give a round applause to welcome the monkey dancers team )

-han- says:

( tell everyone pls be ready to start)

-han- says:

we release all the monkeys from the car, and we dance in the background of this ... so monkeys are there , and dancers are there too...

-han- says:

this is what i call ' MONKEY DANCE' - the END-

-han- says:

happy?

anonymous says:

happy gua

anonymous says:

now sing song pls

anonymoussays:

u owe me a song

-han- says:

uuu waka waka waka kuak kuak kuak kuak kekekakaka uuuuuuuuuuuuuwawawawawawa wakawaka waka kuak kuak kuak kuak ...kekekekkakak

-han- says:

it's just a verse of that monkey song

-han- says:

not yet chorus ...

-han- says:

u want to hear the chorus?

anonymous says:

nobody sing song sing halfway

anonymous says:

quickly le

-han- says:

u didn't feed them bananas... how could they got energy to sing wor?

anonymous says:

i din buy bananas this week

anonymous says:

they owe me , why should i feed them

anonymous says:

suppose u feed them

anonymous says:

u dun sing then i shut down

anonymous says:

y suddenly pigs transformed 2 monkeys

-han- says:

okok...listen... here it comes the chorus...MONKEYS: I wanananananana bananannanana! gib mi gib mi gib mi gib mi banananananna!

anonymous says:

so bai chi!!!!!

-han- says:

pls give me a laugh (or banana)

anonymous says:

this really a song

anonymous says:

???

-han- says:

hahaha... it could be.... let me sit down and think about the bridge sometimes later..and perhaps the backup vocal too ... when i finish this, maybe i'll become the next beethoven

-han- says:

in composing 'Monkey Song'

anonymous says:

i want vomit!!!compare urself with beethoven.dunno how thick ur face

anonymous says:

u still ok ma , i scare u become mad

-han- says:

become scientist can also become mad wat!

-han- says:

if u can wait... wait for me 15 mins... i gotta collect result...if cannot , bye and goodnite!

anonymous says:

i wan to go now lo,becoz ur song not so interesting

anonymous says:

mr monkey

anonymous says:

bye

三件事

利益熏心？

坦白地说，我有一段时间‘密谋’搬家。因为我通过友人介绍，有一对意大利夫妇愿意提供我免费住宿，条件是帮忙看家打理，和照顾他们的宝贝宠物。那间屋子可真是相当大的，拥有5间睡房，客厅，厨房，饭厅，洗衣室，两间浴室厕所。后院还有一个不小的花园和泳池。屋子看起来相当吸引人，坐落在伦敦北部第3区，距离市中心约有一个小时。屋子那么大间，才两个人住。通常是由那位女主人打理。两夫妇现在都是博士学生。他们俩都很好人，带我参观和介绍了他们的屋子和周围的环境。对我来说，问题比较大的是他们的宠物。他们爱狗如命，任由狗只在屋里到处流荡。他们有两只相当大只的狼狗，两只小毛狗，一只肥猫，和一只兔子。我本身对狗没有什么特别的恐惧感，除了当感觉它们有威胁感时。那些动物们都太过热情了，嗅嗅舔舔地，一开始真的是不习惯，甚至有点慌张。原因是我从来没有多少接触宠物的经验，我家不曾有过宠物。

当他们说，叫我回家仔细想一想，才作决定。我就感觉到自己有点拿不定主意。

最大的好处当然是节省了庞大的生活开支。试想一想，一个星期可省80镑（扣除交通费后），一个月呢？一年呢？真的是不少钱。然后，我又可以拥有那么美好的生活环境，可以与西方人同住生活交流。看起来好像不错。坏处呢？我将失去不少了我的行动自由方便（距离大学还蛮远的），不少与这里的大马朋友同住的生活乐趣，也将改变不少我的生活习惯（比如说需要早起），和必须遵守他们的住家规则（家不是我的，我欠人人情呀！）

烦了一整个晚上，后来经过我的一位亲密朋友的指点，为我开窍了不少，差不多一语惊醒梦中人。我何必为了那笔钱而失去了欢乐，自由和自己呢？值得吗？我应该是来英国这里读书学习的，还有过自己喜欢的舒适生活，何必跟自己过不去呢？真的很感谢她。

最后，今天下午接到了那对夫妇的电话，说他们会比较喜欢对宠物有饲养经验的人，毕竟他们还是担心他们的宠物没有被好好照顾，当他们不在家时。

就这样，此案件就结束了。恢复正常。

人还是要回到生活原点，金钱毕竟只是身外之物。许多人为了钱，忘了如何生活。不应让钱使你的生活失去了色彩和‘正在生活’的意义！

遇见摄影狂！

那个星期四晚上，由于隔天不需要上班（已把份内工作完成了），我可以像往常一样开开心心做‘夜猫’。但是‘可恶’的室友总喜欢早睡，拿他没办法，就几乎每个晚上都将行动室迁去厨房。（我可以在厨房上网的，会不会发觉英国人很厉害呢？资讯和食物一样重要）

那天，一如往常呆在厨房观赏一部刚下载的韩语电影，就有一位住宿管理工作人员进来厨房作例常检查。原来他是我认识的人！他是同样在我大学就读的斯洛伐克人（Slovakian）。我们是在大学的摄影学会认识的。他见到我就坐下来欲与我倾谈。我就先暂停我的电影（很不过瘾的啦！）。我展示那些我在斯德哥尔摩（Stockholm）拍摄的照片，他就一边问我其他的问题（喂，给我一点面子总可以吧？），问说我有没有兴趣在大约十月旬到苏格兰去作摄影旅游？我说，不错的提议，但是距离现在还有点遥远，未来的日子不是很确定，也很难说。不过兴趣倒是有的，毕竟不容易与志同道合的人一起去一些自然景色美丽的地方旅游。然后，他兴致勃勃地问我有没有摄影学会执委或任何会员的联络方式（大哥，我不属于执委的啦！不要问错对象。不过，几个人的email倒是有的。）他留下来了他的联络方式给我，叫我给他一些资讯。

我原以为可以继续观赏电影了，怎知他开始述说起为何他今年不回国选择在此打工。他的工作其实很清闲（那晚他是做夜班的），钱真是好赚，然后又不需付住宿费。他说，他要把这三个月内所赚取的绝大部分的工钱来购买一台数码SLR专业相机和大大小小的摄影滤光镜片，工具等等。我瞪大了眼睛，哇噻，值得吗？天天日夜颠倒连续做半天工，只是为了摄影这兴趣？然后，他就把我手中的滑鼠和电脑抢过来，说要给我看他的作品和他设计的网站。他也给我看了他为一个摄影网站写了几篇有关在伦敦的摄影生活游记。也透露了不少有关他在摄影的雄心—似乎不纯粹是兴趣那么简单。父亲是从事摄影行的，而他的摄影技巧是自学的。

主要驱使他购买新相机的原因是‘商业用途’，将来可以更方便地使用，赚取的利润较大。他说，不久前有个例子--有位生意人大兄联络上他，说他愿意付出40镑为他拍摄一张个人照。账目上看，似乎这是一个大赚的机会，可是目前他使用的相机是底片相机，扣除旅程费，相卷，洗底片（还是自己动手的），相框等等，所剩无几。加上愈来愈多人偏爱数码式的照片，可以轻易地放上网与人分享交流，情愿你将相片存入一片光碟给他们。那就麻烦了，你可要走‘长路’-买相卷，洗底片，最后还要用scanner 抄录进电脑—最后照片品质都变了（尤其是最后scanning的步骤）。他说得不是没有道理。我也正在想再升级我的相机，因为我觉得我应有资格使用较专业的SLR相机—那才是真正地考你的摄影技巧！不过，这几年来在我家，一直买相机的人似乎是我，不懂该如何开口要求另一台了。

他一直抱怨他不得志，大学没有给他多少发挥的空间，说其实还有大量可开发的地方。他一直炮轰我们大学的学生杂志，拍摄的效果差劲，甚至可以把连焦点模糊的照片也放上报。然后又不给版位给摄影学会，或邀请摄影学会派员来作校方的正式的摄影记者。也对摄影学会内部的凋零情况感到失望--感觉到他有满腔热情，有才华冲劲，却陷入无从发挥的困境。

翻看他的作品集，我当然自叹不如。我也许抓到了少许摄影的窍门，还说不上很会摄影--当别人称赞我时，我都会有一点不好意思。因为我不想班门弄斧嘛！不过，我相信，如果我有相同的相机和工具，我肯定会很用心的学习，然后至少可以达至这位老兄的水准。对我来说，他已差不多可以摄影找吃了，拥有一定的专业水准。

http://www.doc.ic.ac.uk/~jd505/enghome.htm

我顿时发现，当一个人对自己的理想坚定信念，满怀热忱和憧憬时，说起理想来，眼睛炯炯有神，言语充满感染力，拥有多么强大可怕的前进推动力啊！

旧的不去，新的不来？

从小学开始，不知怎的就有人叫我‘老古董’（是有点奇怪的，hhmm也不大好长篇大论解释由来）。说实在的，我确实很珍惜‘旧’东西，尤其是陪我‘征战’多年的宝贝物件。我也是实用主义者，只要我的‘旧’东西还可以发挥正常，达到一定的效果用处，我不会计较到底它们跟不跟上潮流的。（我本人是最不讲潮流的）

最近，我终于买了一台/支新的MP3随身听，取代我那架陪了相当旧的MP3 CD 机。说真的，近来你几乎可以看到那种大块的CD player在英国街上完全消失。所以，这些日子以来我携带我的‘大块’MP3 CD机出去，都会引来不少好奇的眼光了。以实用的角度来看，那体型算不了什么。我携带一片MP3 CD也够我聆听一整天了，不会不方便，看不出任何需要做出改变的决定。

也许时代变换的脚步快了，我也必须换方式储存我的‘娱乐品’（MP3, MTV和电影）--这些都是占据我的电脑记忆库的绝大部分位子。再加上我的需求量又增加了（在英国有了宽频后，下载的次数越来越频密，下载的物件也直线上升）。目前，我已增加了DVD烧录机，来应付我的需求。然后，接下来的问题就是：如果我的MP3都烧录进了DVD,我的MP3随身听怎么办？结果，在两天前找到了解决方案：我趁夏日倾销时期，买了一个价钱相对廉宜的笔形USB MP3随身听，有2GB的记忆体。那样，我就可以拿去健身房聆听了，甚至任何地方，不怕震动干扰MP3机的运作。无论如何，旧机还是有存在的价值的，毕竟它的功能还是完整的。

Just uploaded my Sweden trip photos

I spent a whole night yesterday selecting and editting the photos. Also i did some extra work to write the captions, as i promised to Dave and friends. So, give me some comment and credit if you like them. This will be only available so far in English. I'm not sure whether i will put up some chinese description there later on... it's time consuming.

Here is the link to my photo album:
http://cheehan85.multiply.com/photos/album/11

Check it out and tell me what do you think!!! thank you!