瑞典IRTG Retreat Meeting

上个星期二至星期四，我在瑞典的斯德哥尔摩（Stockholm）参加了我的博士课程国际研究训练组织(International Research Training Group- IRTG)的休闲会议(Retreat Meeting)。这个休闲会议每年都会进行一次，促进我大学Medizinische Hochschule Hannover和伙伴大学Karolinska Institutet Stockholm所有师生的交流。下回会在德国进行。虽然我们进驻4星级中等豪华的旅店，几乎所有的时间安排都是为了师生的研究汇报，没有太多空闲时间去游玩。

那是一间靠海的旅店，偏离市中心颇远的。我被安排与一个在哈萨克斯坦（Kazakhstan)出生的德国人同房。我们两人是新一届仅有的两位男学生，其余的大约16位是女生。我倒很喜欢窗外景色，尤其是一早起床就可以看到这样优美的海边景色—有山有水，有帆船靠岸停泊…感觉就像度蜜月（宝贝，如果当时有你在就好了…这样才能好好地欣赏和享受这景色 ^_^）。

 这里是旅店里的图书馆／闲聊处。也是我们早上和下午开会的地方（早前在会议室召开，不过因为太冷了，转移阵地）






我觉得有美感的电灯装饰。



















那时正是十一月初，可是在那里已飘雪了，真的很冷。那是今年第一场雪，来得还早呢。我走的那天还大雪纷飞，导致班机延迟半小时起飞。我们所有来自德国的学生私底下的共识是---若要到Stockholm的伙伴大学来进行研究工作，都会选择夏天。是的，我必需呆在Karolinska Institutet至少半年。目前我还不知道应该何时选择来到，通常是在博士课程的第二年。

认识了我的系友,发现有两位已经结婚了，一位还可是有一个女儿了。他们的共同点（一男一女）是他们都有俄罗斯族的血统。我很难想象自己在二十三岁就结婚了（我的房友就是这样子）。其他的留学生，另外有两位来自印度，都不会操德语。有一位还甚至住在Braunschweig呢！（我早前说过我不大愿意居留的城市）其他的德国人还不错，只不过我们这些海外留学生不在场时或不留意时，他们都会说德语的。我希望自己在这里的三年里可以至少可以与任何德国人作正常的交谈。

 （情人的铜像－海边的热情对望）
我希望我望穿秋水后，就可以见到你。我想，大约是冬季吧 ^_^

人生的转折点

其实，我不知道自己有多幸运。在我的大学新季课程开始时，我才知道我是千多个申请者中脱颖而出的80几位（包括了其他4个相近的医学研究课程）。我是被我的导师(supervisor)从另一个课程‘挖走’的，因为我本来并没有申请IRTG课程的。这就是所谓的‘际遇’，我导师的‘线人’（后来才知那是他的妻子）当天出席我的面试，在场听我的硕士论文的呈现。面试完毕后，我就知道我成功了—因为我没有想到我的呈现竟然引起那么多的回响，注意和兴趣。有好几位其他博士科研项目(PhD project)的导师就自动向前提出他们对我的兴趣。当时，我还是对我申请的课程里的科研项目有兴趣，还没有认真地考虑转课程的可能。也许那时我对Salmonella project还没有什么好感，好歹我之前是研究艾滋病病毒(HIV)的，我自觉想要做更伟大的。

之前研究比较熟悉的T细胞，我到Braunschweig (另一个德国城市，距离Hannover大约45分钟的火车车程)去拜见了另一个可能会考虑的导师和参观了那里的实验室。虽然那导师看起来对我非常有信心，觉得可以网罗我。并不是科研项目我不满意，只是那个城市给我更陌生和恐惧的心理。那是一个比汉诺威更德国人的城市，我担心会过得不舒适，很难沟通（至少以我目前的德语水平）。这担心不是假的，因为那位导师的实验室里可真的清一色是德国人(虽然我见了他们，也与他们谈过话了，觉得他们还蛮友善与亲切的…这还不足以让我放心和改变主意)。

而我现在的导师却还在Hannover等待着我的拜访，虽然我从Braunschweig回到时已迟到将近2小时。都六点多了，几乎所有在实验室里的人都走得七七八八了。我导师的诚意开始就打动了我。他浑身解数地用了45分钟解释我的project，也带我简单地介绍和‘逛了’实验室里的设备。他说，很抱歉，因为他的学生们都已回家了（其实我才很抱歉）。他知道我另一天就回马来西亚了，他希望我另一天一早可以再拜访他，然后介绍他的学生让我认识，与我深度交谈。

就是那个早上，改变了结局。他的学生（现在我的同事）给我更清楚的画面，让我更好的评估我的导师…以前我在Imperial College时硕士班的导师Nesrina就告诉我，一个欣赏你，支持你的导师是非常非常非常重要。我深深地体会到这道理，因为Nesrina本身就是闪亮的例子。还有我遇到了亲切的印尼留学生Usri。从他的谈吐中，可以看出他在这里是开心的，并不孤独。过后我在与我的导师Oliver道别时，还不能给他一个肯定的答案，他有点失望。他说，他周末就会去印尼巴厘度暑假了，希望我尽快给他答复。

也许你会说我傻，因为我还等待着本来首选的另一个导师的答复（因为她有我最有兴趣的project）。坐了漫长的班机回到了马来西亚，抵达的那晚我很困扰。Braunschweig的导师正式提出要求，Oliver等待我的答复，我的首选项目的导师（没见过面的）还在印度开会，不能给答复。遇到这难题，还好当晚有Andy开解了我。我们就坐在SS2的Murni，他听我分析后，就叫我快刀斩乱麻，不要拖了—如果那晚睡觉前首选项目的导师未能给肯定，就一定要割舍，不然到头来一无所有。
结果我打电话去那实验室，接听电话的资深学生支支吾吾，似乎暗示我的处境不妙。过后我就决定立刻打电话给Oliver说我要那project了，可惜电话没人接。我真的真的很着急，赶紧寄email通知他，希望他在家会查email。那已经是星期四了。

那晚我真的很懊恼，难以入睡，而且病态式地一直刷新我的电邮网页…谢天谢地，结果在我等到半夜12点多时，终于捎来好消息！他说，他很高兴得到我正面的回复，说我一直就是他的首选，他也在等待着我的消息。现在他会推荐我成为他的学生，为我的入学作出安排。哇，我兴奋地立刻打电话给我的女友，半夜三更吵醒她告诉她这振奋人心的好消息（她一直都很关心我，支持我的决定，我真的很感激她）

经过一番波折后，终于尘埃落定。我就这样来到了这里汉诺威。也因为我转换课程的决定，我从中另外得到更多的好处--我的‘薪水’会比其他课程来得高，另外我还有机会到Stockholm生活（这又有额外津贴）。我觉得自己很幸运，因为我认为我做了一个最好的决定。

申请博士班的过程一直都不如意…之前申请了2间英国大学，一间瑞士苏黎世ETH大学，2间德国大学（其中Heidelberg和瑞士的那间还重复申请了一次），甚至奥地利的一间。八间拒绝了我，我仍没有放弃。那些拒绝我的可能只能从纸上评估我，我来到了汉诺威的面试后才发现面试的魅力。过后，在我接受了汉诺威医学院的安排后，才收到瑞士巴塞大学（University of Basel）的面试邀请不过这已太迟了。那也是一件很棒的大学，出产过数位诺贝尔得奖主。

也许很多身边朋友还不知这些故事，我现在说，是因为，我认为这是很好的真实生活故事，值得好好记录下来，并收藏起来。我知道，有时我们会作出不同的决定，有些往往还是很关键的，结果就从此改变了人生。知心好朋友的一句话的影响力，和爱情的力量是无法估计的。我要感谢那些支持我，关心我的人，特别是爱我的人。谢谢！

Deepavali celebration with my Indian floormates

On Saturday, I was invited by my floormates to observe their brief Deepavali ceremony. Then i just decided to go.

I was actually very impressed how they set up their 'worship' place for that night in my student hall party room. The two god features were beautifully hand-drawn by one of my floormates. The decoration of the two lamps up there was also a nice probe.

They lit up the whole building with this small candle light, all the way from our 3rd floor to basement. It is like lighting up the guiding path to the worship place.

Materials prepared for worship ceremony

It is an easy-going process, with music, singing and clapping hands. Indians were in their traditional costume, and 3 Israelis were amongst them.

Party time

...and have fun with fireworks (is that what it is called?)

 

Finally, my photography art piece on the candles they lit on staircase for 4 floors. =)

在汉诺威的生活 Life in Hannover

妈说她要上网来看我的照片，从而探悉我的生活状况。我现在就住在一间学生宿舍，名叫Heidjerhof Studentenwohnheim。它距离我的实验室只有10分钟步程，3分钟脚车路程，价钱便宜和方便。我拥有一间大房间，那是一件非常愉快的事。我必须与同楼的5位房客共享厕所，浴室，和厨房，目前还过得去。早前浴室的下水道堵塞的问题已解决。我们房客都很有默契地，避开大家做饭时间，让各自拥有最大的空间舒适地使用厨房。目前的卫生情况也还过得去。

Mum said she wants to go online to look at my photos (with the brother's assistance), to check out my living conditions (thus i wrote in chinese first). Now i'm staying in a student hall accommodation, which is called 'Heidjerhof Studentenwohnheim. It is located within 10 minute walking distance to my lab, or 3 minute by bike. The rent is quite cheap and location-wise, it is very convenient (to get the transportation to the city centre). I have quite a big room... i never had this size of room for my own before (although it is not so big, compared to those i had stayed before in London, there is no match). The size of room alone, delighted me. However, i have to share the facilities such as toilet, bathroom, and kitchen with 5 other occupants on the same floor. So far it is still ok. The earlier problem our floor had, was the blockade in the sewage pipe in bathroom. But now it was already solved. My floormates are having a good consensus to avoid preparing meal at the same (if possible), so that each of us will have the maximum space for cooking and using the kitchen. The Indians most of the time eat quite late, a Chinese girl has her meal early. So far, the cleanliness in kitchen and elsewhere on my floor are still ok. I'm happy that it is quite unlike what my brother told me about his hallmate Indians in USA.

自从安定在这里后，我就大幅度扩增我的‘所有物’…比如说饭锅，电脑音响系统，打印机，脚车（从我同事那里得来的二手货，因为他女友的父亲爱修理脚车和送人—那可是德国制造的！），煮水器和流动暖气机（快要过冬了）。幸好我的奖学金是在每个月头分发的，我才可以有这样‘挥霍’它的自由。IKEA对学生也是很有帮助，走了购物一圈又解决了不少生活必需品，比如说厨房用具：炒菜锅，煮汤大锅，菜刀，勺子。当然我也添购了站立灯柱（为了安装我从马来西亚带来的白色灯泡，他们西方人不用这种灯泡的）和让我坐得很爽很舒适的旋转式办公椅。

After i was quite settled down here in Hannover, soon i discover myself expanding my belongings in larger scale (also due to the restriction of the stuff i could bring over here from Malaysia, for my first arrival). I bought rice-cooker (many westerners are always puzzle why do we asian need this 'thing', i am sure), computer speaker sound system, printer, bicycle (where i obtained from my colleague's girlfriend's father who enjoys repairing bikes, and gives them to people who need them-- the one i had is Made in Germany...muahaha), water boiler and portable heater (winter's coming soon). Fortunately, my stipend comes early to my rescue... It is supposed to transfer to my account (Deutsche Bank) in the beginning of the month. It is a handsome sum of stipend (of course no taxation), allows me to spend at my disposal (on certain necessities).


I do find IKEA is a very good starting place for shopping to those who just moved into a new place and started new life. Just by walking one round, i already found many things i need, like cooking utensils: wok, pot, knife, spatula, plate and bowl. Other additional things i bought are lamp stand (which allows me to put my special white cool daylight bulb -- that thing you can never get it in Europe, i don't know why... but i feel more comfortable in that white light when reading and doing other activities) and a swirl office chair which let me sit comfortably in front of laptop, lay on my back and head.

我的印尼同事介绍我两间亚洲超市后，也一举解了我的乡愁（食物方面）。想象我最初的几天在这里都只是吃subway的。现在我几乎什么都有了- 米，面，亚洲人的酱料，冷冻鱼和虎虾，新鲜蔬菜，快速面，大碗，茶壶等等，差不多算是应有尽有了，让我爽。这些亚洲食品的价钱比伦敦的来得便宜。我近来几乎每天都下厨，不然我也不知要吃些什么好…你们或许以为我一定会吃很多西餐，尤其是德国餐。我自从抵达至今都不算吃过了德国餐（如果街边卖的德国香肠和食堂里的食物都不算）。我一下厨就一定煮两餐两道菜（晚餐和隔天的午餐便当），因为煮给两个人份量比较划算。

My Indonesian colleague is very kind to show me two asian supermarkets, this effectively cure my homesick (on food). Imagine the first few days in Hannover, i ate only Subway sandwiches. Now i have almost everything i need -- rice, noodles, asian sauces, frozen fishes and tiger prawns, asian fresh vegetables, instant noodles, big bowl, teapot, etc. That's cool. The price here for these asian goodies is cheaper than in London.


These days i am almost cooking everyday, otherwise i don't know what else to eat outside... Maybe some of you think that i must have tasted a lot of western food, especially German food. But nope, since i arrive here, i haven't really enjoyed german food (if german sausage, and those food in canteen i eat once in awhile, not counted). Everytime i cook, i will cook two dishes and two portions for dinner and lunch the next day, thus i can save more money and time. The amount of time used for cooking one portion or two, is the same.

首3个星期，我在实验室里都没有闲着。当中，我学习了不少新的实验技巧。之前的我从来没有做过任何有关动物的实验。在这里，我很常需要老鼠（mouse不是rat）来作实验对象，研究肠道沙门氏菌（Salmonella）的感染（就是那个常造成食物中毒的病菌）。我使用的病菌是已事先被弱化，所以应该不会对我人体有造成病害的风险（除非你把大量的病菌吞了）。在这3个星期里，我已懂得如何比较人道地杀死老鼠（用二氧化碳窒息他们），动手术拿取它的重要器官，比如小肠(small intestine/gut)（最重要的），肝脏(liver)，脾脏（spleen）和小肠与肝脏之间的淋巴结（Mesenteric Lymph node）。我花了一些时间来辨认和技巧地取出这些器官。当然我也必须学会如何抓拿活生生的老鼠，如何定位它在我的手掌上（让他们的头无法转动来咬你）然后‘喂’他们病菌，感染他们。了解这些小动物的习性有助于我的实验。除此之外，我也学会如何准备显微镜实验样本，如何寻找器官位置然后拍摄好显微镜照。

The first 3 weeks, i did not relax in the lab. I learned quite a number of new experimental techniques/skills. Before this, i had never done any animal experiment (i'm talking about real experiment, not those during my high school time cutting live frog). Very frequently i need mice here for experiment, to carry out research on Salmonella infection on mice (yep, Salmonella is the one which quite often involved in food poisoning). But, don't worry, the one in lab i'm using is the attenuated version of Salmonella, will not post any risk to my body, supposedly (unless i swallow a huge amount of the bacteria in the tube).

During these 3 weeks, I learned how to kill a mouse humanely (by suffocating the mouse in a carbon dioxide filled bag... they are put to sleep first before they die), do an operation to remove important organ parts which concerns my research such as small intestine/gut, liver, spleen, and mesenteric lymph node. I spent sometime  trying to identify and recognise them, remember the location of these organs i need. Then i learned how to take out those parts skillfully (in a neat and clean way-- i still have to practise more to achieve this). Besides that, i also need to learn how to handle live mouse, fixing its position firmly in my palm so that their head can't turn (and thus they can't bite me) and 'feed' them with Salmonella intragastrically. Therefore, understanding their behaviour is to my benefits of research. In addition to this, i also picked up new method how to prepare very thinly sliced microscope specimen on a microscope slide, how to find the good view of organs and take  good microscopic images. These are microscopic skills which i do not have much exposure to during my 4 years of undergraduate and master studies.

以下是我这里的生活环境照：
Below are photos on my living conditions:

我的房间（第一个星期）
My room (first week)

我的房间 （第四星期）-- 加了旋转办公椅，打印机，电饭煲，等等


My room (4th week)-- spot the difference!
Addition: Swirl chair, printer, rice cooker, heater and etc.

 




墙上有个德国大地图

That is a big Germany map on the wall, obtained from DAAD brochure.

ei,那两张小照片是什么呢？

把这两张充满回忆的照片挂在墙面，每次经过我就可以看一眼。然后告诉自己要努力读书，因为幸福未来还在等着我（们）。

Loving sweet memories of me and Von yi, hanging on the wall, so that i can see it everytime i pass through ^^ That is to remind myself to work hard, the happiness in future awaits us.

我的床头和橱柜后面的洗手盆

My bed, and the basin which is behind the cupboard.

我的幸运天使在此。我的good luck是由她传过来的。谢谢在大马远方的真正天使！^_^

Barry也在此，他会与我过圣诞节...然后他会与我一起漂洋过海去冰天雪地的地方与心爱的人过那温馨的佳节 =）
My Good Luck angel is here with me, she passes all the luck from my real angel in M'sia. Barry is also here. He will be following me to somewhere out there to share xmas moments with my loved ones.

我宿舍的面貌，和我放脚车的地方。
The outlook of my student hall, and the place where i put my bike.

我的二手脚车，但呈现崭新的面貌。德国脚车的坐垫很高，即使调到最低还是高。

My second-hand bike, but looks quite new. The seat pad is quite high for german bike. Even i adjusted to the lowest position, it is still high.

你看，是德国制造的,没有骗你的。

You see, this is Made In Germany, no joke.

我房间外面的走廊。我的房间是左手边第一间。同楼的还有5位住客。

The corridor of my floor. My room is the first one on the left. There are 5 more tenants on this floor.

我那楼的公用客厅，也是厨房的一部分。
Common area on my floor, is also part of the kitchen.

厨房和用具 （对不起，手震动，用手机拍的）
Kitchen and utensils (sorry for blur image, taken by handphone camera with my shaky hand)

实验室办公室。平时很拥挤，因为我导师的研究小组可不小。
Lab office. Normally it was very crowded but not when i was taking this picture (they all left). My supervisor's group is not small.

我的实验室部分面貌（我的工作台其实在这一排的后面）
Part of my lab. My working lab desk is at the back of this row.

老鼠实验（不是我做的实验）。这些老鼠等着被我的同事从尾巴打针。开红灯，是让这些老鼠温热，待他们血管膨胀后，再动手打针。
我的实验要从他们的口腔注射病菌， 不需要红灯。

Mice experiment (not mine). These mice are waiting for my colleague to inject them with syringe from their tail. Red light is switched on, is to warm up the mice. Wait until their blood vessels are dilated , then it's time to take action.
My experiment usually require to feed the mice with bacteria from mouth, therefore red light is not needed.

与我要好的印尼同事Usri。他不好意思看镜头 。照片正中下端的那个小灰箱，是用来困着老鼠，还有个缝让老鼠尾巴露出。这样就很方便打针了。
My fellow Indonesian colleague Usri. Ok, he is not so easy with the camera.
The little grey box at the bottom centre of the picture, is used to trap a mouse. There is a slit in the middle of box to let its tail out. Therefore it is easier to inject.

彩虹出现在我实验室办公室外 ^^ 我真的想乘着那道彩虹往我思念的方向飞去。

Rainbow outside my lab office. How i wish rainbow as a gateway to teleport to place which i miss the most. You must enjoy the rain first then the rainbow.

足够给两个人的晚餐，谁想要我每天的厨艺服务呢？;-)
有人说，我很适合做住家男人。而我觉得我就是。
Dinner for two, any takers?

汉诺威市中心大街上一个很有创意的卖德国香肠的生意点子。我已有两次‘帮衬’他们了。
There is a very creative idea to sell german sausage, on a main street in Hannover city centre. I'd twice bought the sausage from them.

我很遗憾自己还没有真正出去游览汉诺威市的景点（虽然也没有什么非去不可）。届时我有照片，会放上我的部落格。 

谢谢你们的关心，我在这里很安好，生活得很舒适 =）

I'm regret to say that i have not really sightseeing around Hannover (although there are probably nothing really you must come to Hannover and see). If i do have pictures next time i will post it here in my blog.

Thanks for your concern, i'm fine here. My life is good in Hannover =)

语言与生活

不知不觉我已在汉诺威第3个星期了，基本上生活也开始可以定下来了。也许以前在英国留学过的经验可以帮助我在这个一开始完全陌生的城市，展开新生活，能适应了。虽说语言环境很大不同，我会尽我的努力好好地融入他们，练好我的德语。我的直属学姐每天尝试对我练习几句德语，基本上我还听得懂（如果他们说慢些，和尽量用较简单的字样）。我同楼的屋友，有一个是越南人，也只会（一点点）德语，我们都沟通得很辛苦，因为我很难听懂他越南音的德语。还有我‘被逼’用德语与我宿舍的主管沟通--这里上了年纪的工作人员通常他们的英语都不行。办理任何官方的事务我都害怕他们不懂英语；我收到任何公函都是德文的。有时都懒得一字一句去读了，大概扫描一下，用我的有限德语去理解内容（最好不要叫我打电话回复他们）。还好我的银行deutsche bank和手机网络公司O2已走向国际了，至少还有专属讲英语的职员来服务我。


说真的，在马来西亚接触到的英文字的机会还比在这里多。很多广告，公函都还是以英语书写的，顾客服务都有设英语专线。所以我有一个感觉普遍上大马人的英语会话能力凌驾于德国人。我们国人学习英语的时候还比德国人早，他们差不多在初中时才开始学习外语的。为什么我们的英语（尤其是大专生）还会差呢？英语差，还不是全部的问题，更重要的是，为什么我们的国家语言（马来语）完全没有学术上的竞争力？德国，法国，日本甚至中国人都可以用他们自己的语言出版有素质的学术论文，而我们不能呢？我看到我的学哥学姐都用德语来写实验报告，我有点遗憾，因为我不能。不过德国人学术界的英语水平并不比他们的母语逊色，也不是我们很多目前坐在大专院校担任教授和讲师能比得上的。可见他们的双语教育（母语+外语）是成功的，可以双语能力平起平坐。当然，英语是他们的‘工作语言’，一般时间的沟通就不会用英语—比如说，午餐时间，他们一大班德国人一起聚集吃午餐，不会因为里面有几个非德国人就换英语…我的学姐说，午餐时间‘要听她的’。


语言可以代表一个国家、民族的自信。语言的成熟度也可以反映出他们的思想的进步。惯用的生活语言可以塑造社会文化。我的哥哥常批评挑剔马来语的问题，就在于马来语拥有太多负面论述（negative connotation/statement）,尤其是在俚语（peribahasa）（比如说：setinggi tupai lompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga）和日常生活的惯用语言（relek, lepak, senang/susah, cukup makan, etc）。我也多次与我哥对此辩论。我认为，这可以是非关语言（因为每个语言一定有负面论述存在于词汇和俚语里），但是主流正面进步的论述必须存在，进而带动和影响社会的价值观，从而改变文化。另一方面，我同意哥哥的看法，在于常把负面（不积极）论述挂在嘴边，甚至已潜移默化成为思想的一部分，一个民族是不会有太大的进步空间。太过容易自我满足，今朝有酒今朝醉，想吃免费午餐，抄捷径/找便宜却不肯脚踏实地地耕耘等等思想现象，或许我们在马来西亚都不会陌生。在生意合约上，我在政府部门打过工，不难看到常常上府来找吃的承包商徘徊在权势部门的门口等合约。在大学出路上，我也常听朋友说很多友族同胞在找工方面怠慢不急不慌，因为他们说他们毕业后总可以在政府部门里找到工。在政治上，总是有几方人马，上瘾玩数字游戏，喜欢玩弄手段抓青蛙，却又不积极做好基层组织，好好经营政党和干练党工，铺陈和宣扬政治理念。为何这些政治人物体现出他们短见的一面，而不从长计议放眼春秋大业，脚踏实地做好执政准备？另一方面在马来媒体上，他们却很狂热‘捍卫’马来人的权宜和‘正当’的生活方式，同时发表了很多似是而非，保守，抗拒改变的思想。我不明白为什么一定要用非友即敌，人种/种族角度来看待问题而模糊了理性价值观认知和万分阻扰理性讨论和辩论？这些都是我的困惑。


我的分析是，在一个一党专制的国家，理性是可以扭曲的，因为只有权威的论述可以宣扬，其他非权威的话必须被打压。所以回到语言这一方面，你认为在这种由上而下的制度，学术如何百花齐放？语言要如何进步，如果积极正面，理性的真话或论述终究要被打压？权威要打压其他言论，因为他们对自己的论述缺乏自信。空洞，有时接近非理性，缺乏自信的语言和主流论述，有怎么能带领国家繁荣进步呢？是的，我还是会说，这非关语言，而是人民一定要打破权威的迷失，突破压抑性社会文化和消极错乱的价值观。

My Merdeka Message

I wear black today, that's how i celebrate Merdeka Day, for the love of my nation. 1BlackMalaysia is for real patriots who care about our country so much and willing to change for better. Only by revealing the dark side of 1Malaysia's hypoc...rites and putting forward new ideas & reform agenda, this country can move forward! I want Malaysia merdeka from oppressive authoritarian, corruption and draconian laws!

Thanks for Everything

Sorry for the little awkward speech during the dinner which i came unprepared for... Yep, i learned that my public speech is still not good yet, maybe need to be forced like YB's way. =)

First of all, i really want to thank my boss and my mentor, Eli. She has inspired me and made me believe that this beloved beautiful country called Malaysia still have hopes when we have YBs like her. She transformed me from Mild Green to Dark Green now, convinced me that my home state Selangor under the ruling of Pakatan Rakyat things can only change for better when the there are political will and vision like hers and MB's in terms of social justice & equality, racial harmony, environmental care. She is very determine to push for policies which are good & much needed to my home state, doing a very good job in her portfolio.
I'm always proud of her, and wish every YB has something common like her to serve the people sincerely. She has my respect as a politician, disproves the common saying that 'every crow is black in politicians)

Next, i would like to thank my 'big brother' Khai Loon who brought me into this position (Special Assistant). I always look up to him since DEMA years, be a great role model for every activist in social movement. He always have lots of energy and passionate in his job, especially good in HR and organising works. Thanks KL for introducing me to this job! I've learned a lot from you too. All the best, our future YB. =)

Bai Qi a.k.a. whiteflag is our 'Chief of staffs'. She has the office under control, and keeps the agenda/schedule going. She is a person you can seriously trust. Although she is quite busy and under stress often in office (until it is quite obvious on her face), she is very reasonable, friendly person who you can tell jokes to. There were times where i did something wrong in procedure, she gave me good advice and i learned much more from mistakes.

Brian, our new Poster boy in office, made famous through a movie (by Yasmin Ahmad) and a few videos which impress us and make us so proud when sharing the same office with you (haha). He is a very talented guy. He is also quite a steady cool guy in handling every case. I can hardly see him panic. He is quite relax in the office, listening to nice music during office hours (just like me, haha) - this shows that music can increase productivity (ok, Bai Qi? haha)

Kai Yit, the new guy in office, already extending his 'influence' just by being tall (Jenita, it is not nice to call her that nickname la :P). From quite the same background he and i sharing, i'm pretty sure he can handle the job quite well and be an excellent assistant to you, Eli. Besides Shao Loong, the office needs someone who is scientifically trained like him especially when handling and understanding environmental cases. Well done my friend in just over two weeks you are here. Nani and Jenita, please don't bully him ya? ;-P

These two Nani and Jenita are my best mates in office, hehe. Because of the large open-air environment encouraging more interactions, sure I find them closer to me. Nani adalah cikgu BM ku. Biasanya saya murid yang baik, cuma kadang-kala membuat kesilapan dalam bahasa saja dan menyusahkan mu untuk membuat pembetulan. Cikgu, minta maaf, jangan rotan ya? Saya akan memperbaiki BM saya. Jenita, is the first Orang Asal friend of mine who enjoys KFC so much (strangely, for coleslaw not for chicken). I’m very impressed that she always get inspiration to do work from eating or/and playing her hair..haha! She always look much younger than her age, although I realize her age can be my ‘big sister’ already (but please don’t bully me, ya? Now you have Kai Yit. Kakaka)

Chuan Boon and Yee Ling from DUN office, although I don’t work directly with you, I appreciate our friendship and thank you for being nice friends to me. Din, kerja kamu mesti sangat penat sehingga banyak kali di pejabat, saya ‘ternampak’ kamu ambil rehat (read: tidur). Saya amat terkagum dengan tekad abang dalam usaha anti-rasuah, selepas menonton video klip yang ditunjukkan mu semasa di GERAK dulu. Jangan sekali-kala belajar dari Saudara Ezam yang tidak berazam punya. Lawan tetap lawan!

Shao Loong, I admire your wide and in-depth knowledge in many areas. You are good researcher and this office needs you for studies in policies (I admit that I don’t think I can understand you all the time).You are indeed a social activist which contributes to much of the good causes in civil society. I respect that.
Keep growing your hair until you break the record in the category ‘longest male hair’ in Malaysia book of records! =P jk

To my lunchmates, you know I always looking forward to have lunch with you all when the time is right (just check the presence of Kim Boon in our office can tell). Lunchtime is definitely one of the highlights of the day for me. Kim Boon, Ginie and Beng Hock, thank you for good company and good memories (BH, I know you must be listening somewhere there, rest assure that you will always be in my memories). Kim Boon and Ginie, sure I will be looking for you all for meals when I come back from Germany each time. Kim Boon, you are indeed a good storyteller, I’ll be lucky if I were your children listening to your stories – any children for political stories, please? ;-)


Wah, this ‘thank you’ message is already damn long, but not all words have been expressed from my heart. I will keep you guys in my heart. Thank you for being so nice to me although it is just a 8-month (--) stay for me. I enjoyed my stay very much, it could be the best time in my life.

A lot of things also happened during these 8 months, some of which I wished it did not happen. Well, I have opened my eyes wide and have the experience of observing and ‘running’ political errands. I learned a lot in how to deal things and handle cases, professionally and efficiently.

Thanks for everything, all the best in all your undertakings! I will still support you all from afar. YB and future YBs, don’t worry, I will still campaign for you guys through web if I could not be physically present there on the ground during General Election (you know I wish I could be there, see how it goes).

See you (tomorrow, last day)!!!

Chee Han

P/s: Next up, a change in FEDERAL government! (sorry for scaring you guys by omitting the ‘federal’ just now during dinner)

P/s 2: I quite like the suggested title for a proposed event, in the meeting: Bukit Lanjan: leading the CHANGE. =)

P/s 3: I will be leaving on 22nd September, long time to go yet...So, save your tears, haha!

My wild imagination...

I wonder if last September 16, Anwar did seize the power of federal govt...
Do my friend Teoh Beng Hock still have to die?
Will there be any need to hold anti-ISA rally like today?

I know it is not democratic and unethical to change government by defections, but today's situation is really saddening me... how i wish Anwar did succeed last time!

PR has to do more political groundworks, if they really determine to eye for Putrajaya.
Najib leads his empire strikes back already!!!

A political war is escalated and erupted!!!

珍惜身边人

除了为民主正义而奋斗，明福的事件也教我更要好好珍惜身边人--要保护自己和保护自己所爱的人。

生气吧，马来西亚人！

以下这篇文章真的铿锵有力，真的很久很久都没有读到那么让我情绪波动的那么厉害的文章了。
我已不知不觉读过了好几遍。

我真的那么想，凡是每场补选大选，我们都应该广传这篇文章（翻译去其他语文都可以）。让那些还有那么一点自尊心的人读了后，如果还会去投腐败烂权至极的天秤国阵一票，那么我们亲爱的国家前途真的真的会很灰。

还有，民联你必需要多多争气自强，不要辜负人民对你的期望。

谢谢国华和欧阳文风牧师的这篇文章。
字字句句入我心坎，i couldn't agree more with this!


转载自廖国华的部落格 (http://inbetweenconfusion.blogspot.com/)

生气吧，马来西亚人！

20多年前，当我是大学新生的时候，龙应台的书《野火集》里那篇《生气吧，中国人！》给了我很大的启示。对社会乱象不生气是姑息养奸。多少罪恶就在我们的沉默下不断的发生。

不要期待英雄，因为有一个英雄，就必有一群懦夫。只有大多数人不沉默，我们本来就无需英雄。
--鲍鹏山，新说水浒

Always standing up when standing is not easy.
--Street Fighter, the legend of Chu-Li

生气吧，马来西亚人！

转载欧阳文风牧师的文章，《华人笨蛋！》。

我已经很久没有这么生气了。

早上在纽约读到赵明福死的新闻，还有反贪污委员会的反应，加上政府高官如纳兹里的言论，我对我的国家彻底失望！
接下来，再在〈独立新闻在线〉读到陈文华揭露如何被反贪委员会盘问，调查官员极尽恐吓威胁之能事；如此对待一名市议员，甚至比犯人也不如，这个国家是极权的共产主义国度吗？

更糟糕的竟然还是调查官员不允许陈文华坐着「协助调查」（这是好听说词，哪有人如此对待协助者），还指着他的眉心，开口大骂他「CINA BODOH!」。

一名市议员被调查官员以如此种族主义的字眼谩骂，如果这个官员不被对付，你以为这个国家可能对一般华人平民有多好？

基宫案无声无息，反贪委员却忙着调查欧阳捍华、刘永山、郭素沁、黄洁冰、杨巧双、谢永贤、李宝霖，对了，还有赵明福。这些人不是
不能调查，但更明目张胆的基宫案到底是怎么一回事？一名牙医到底有甚么本事兴建壮观如皇宫般的住家，一扇门就可以等于一幢单层排屋的价格，钱从哪里来？明显的问题不查，却敲锣打豉查几个年轻的民联议员，这是甚么意思？

反贪污委员会到底是反民联，还是反贪污？

更甚的是，竟然骂陈文华「华人笨蛋」？！反贪委员会这是一个怎么病态的组织？！

不过，或许他骂得对，或许华人真的是笨蛋！否则，怎么可能默默忍受这种侮辱？

华人真的可能是笨蛋，明知贪官那么多，明知马华民政当家不当权，还有华人支持马华民政，还有华人投票支持国阵。

华人真的很有可能是笨蛋，种族主主义横行，马华民政到底做了甚么？有官员骂华人市议员是笨蛋，马华民政的声音在哪里？可我们的华社会还有人笨到以为马华民政是我们的希望。这种华人不够笨吗？

华人真的非常有可能是笨蛋，安华当年的黑眼圈，马哈迪说他是自己打自己，真的有人相信，一大把一大把的选票就这样给了当年的马哈迪和国阵，根本不理马哈迪是怎么以种种恶法治国。许多华裔优秀学生进不了大学，拿不到外国深造奖学金，马来人却没有这种问题。这是种族主义，还不够明显吗？笨蛋！

可是面对种种不公平的政策，动不动国阵还有人拿出５１３来吓选民，可还有华人还是支持国阵，这些华人不是笨蛋又是甚么？

华人是笨蛋？！

真的，我越来越怀疑马来西亚有许许多多的华人是笨蛋。懦弱、无知、贪生怕死、欺善怕恶、别人施舍一点甜头，就晕头转向，只想赚钱，只想发财，有奶就是娘，这种人不是蠢才笨蛋又是甚么？

醒醒吧！如果这时候还不醒，还不辨是非，还不反抗，真是彻头彻尾的经典超级大笨蛋！

悼念明福

T. Beng Hock名字在我办公室的电话荧幕闪着闪着，当时我接听：‘嘿，Eli的ADUN(州议员)办公室有没有被搜查？’‘ermm…应该没有’‘快去通知你老板，今早他们(MACC)已到我们的选区办公室来搜查了。嘿嘿，他们找不到任何东西，因为files全在我手上了’‘ok，好的，我会现在通知依霖（选区助理）’

没想到那就是我最后一次听到他的声音，接听他得电话了…如今T. Beng Hock名字已再也不会出现在caller ID 了。那天下午就知道他被反贪局带走去问话了，没想到另一天却惊闻此悲剧…

他是我们一起吃午餐的最好伙伴，同楼同事。他平时很忙，有时得空时还是会与我们吃饭。我们都很开心。他驾着苹果青的Toyota Avanza大辆的车可以一次载多人，所以也很受欢迎。 白琦常喜欢笑着追问他，几时才可以发‘红炸弹’（结婚请柬），他通常都会拿凯伦来成为推搪/转移话题的借口。想不到我们差不多要等到了那天，他却先早走了一步。

我们都常视凯伦和他为未来的准YB，就叫他以后当了YB别忘了我们，来找我们吃饭。我还曾问他想要出战到哪里。他开玩笑回答说霹雳九洞，因为可以稳胜。

最后一次一起吃午餐，是在大约两个星期前，我们在办公室为了‘欢送’卸任的凯伦而举办的KFC大餐。他假装摆出架子说，他在这里是客人，要我们为他准备好杯子和饮品。我们虽然互相‘酸’了一番，凯伦还是去准备了给他，我也‘敬’了他一杯可乐。他招牌式的爽朗笑声感染了我们，如今只能成为追忆往事了。

记得大约8天前在YB郭素沁特设给台商的晚宴上，与他同桌。他代表YB欧阳捍华出席。由于也是同桌的一名马来记者听不懂华语致词，他好心地以一口流利的马来文协助翻译演讲的摘要。我与他交谈，虽然他还未提及婚姻事宜，却关心地问我的去向。我说会在九月尾出国深造到德国。他半认真的口吻问我几次‘我可以去找你吗？’我不知是否是开玩笑。当时宴席完毕，我们一起走出Concorde酒店大门就这样道别了。那也是我与他最后一次的见面谈话了。现在连再见的机会都没有了。

明福啊，你安息吧！我们这里在找出事情真相还你清白公道之前是不会休息的！我们不会让你的性命平白牺牲，你的血不会白流的！你的勇敢，正义和骨气不向恶势力妥协可能造成了你的平白之冤，但是你的性命却唤醒了这国家许许多多人对民主正义的追求，对严重失信和偏差的政府机构的追究！是可忍，孰不可忍。

１个黑色马来西亚．

明福（后排右一）与我全体办公室的同事合照--那天是依霖的生日。

明福（后排左一）在一个欢送种佳（YB 颜贝倪前助理）的肉骨茶午餐。

Resurrecting my blog... look out!

Yes, you are right... the site is under construction. Just be patient to wait for more blog posts to come. I will give you my updates and tell you my whereabouts during the peculiar 'disappearance' of me in blogsphere.

Nevermind, i know i didn't well-maintain my blog, most of the time it reduces to audience of (n)one. =P

拒绝卑鄙下流三烂的政治逼害手段，还Eli公道和隐私

事到如今，我也忍不住了。表面上看，为何受害者，需要负责呢？这不只非常违反常理，也给敌方作了一个错误的示范，让他们以为这种下流卑鄙无耻的招数是有效。他们就会屡试不爽，以后可能制造更多的受害者，伤风化政治文化。此风不能长，万万不能让他们得逞！

Eli说，她辞职是为了党的利益。我倒觉得不必。她的遭遇，已获得举国上下的同情与支持。况且她认为她没做错事，公众认为她也没错，最重要的是要揪出幕后黑手以还她一个公道。如果有人(read:国阵)敢在接下来的日子公然或偷偷派遣裸照抹黑民联或Eli，就是犯法。即使是思想保守的人，若了解事情的来龙去脉，对这些无耻的行为是绝对不会认同的。没有人会怪罪Eli或民联的。若是因为私生活的公开而被迫辞职，岂不是剥夺了人民的选择吗？希望公正党的高层会慎重考虑，为了民主和人民的利益，拒绝她的辞职。

我跟Eli合作过，我非常认同国文兄在‘裸睡有罪’文章里说的前面4句（后面的‘没有’与她不相干）。
“（她是）一位尽忠职守，满怀理想的模范政治工作者，
没有涉及贪污丑闻、
没有玩弄敏感课题、
没有低级捞取选票”

她就是理想正直廉洁的出色政治人物，是个典范。我想，若我国每个政治人物能像她的 60%，国家早就富强了。在目前‘海啸议员’素质参差不齐的情况下，这样的政治逼害一位优秀能干的议员，怎么不叫人心情沉重心痛？

希望事情有转机，但不敢抱太大期望，尤其是皇室的‘劝告’和‘意见’。就像文哥所说的：我们又一次必须接受封建力量的裁决。

Eli, i support you!

Due to the fast development of this incident, i couldn't catch up yet to give you my full views about this. However, still i must voice up my support for Eli personally, and greatly admire her determination, her vision and her passion in her works for Selangor State government.

The article below is written by my friend, now published in Malaysiakini (mandarin). This summarizes and shares my views too in this case.

Tomorrow, i will be jobless, but i will not forget how these unscrupulous people employed this dirty tactic to damage people's reputation and impede her sincere contribution to the state. Her resignation is a loss to Selangor.

Han


谴责以侵犯隐私倒政敌的做法！读者特约 | 2月17日 2点26分

文：王慧仪（台湾世新大学新闻系学生）

2007年我才到《东方日报》当任专题记者几个月，在接近年尾的时候就发生了我国前卫生部长蔡细历遭人偷拍在酒店与女子欢好的性爱光碟，迅速直接向媒体承认他就是光碟里的男主角，顿时轰动全国。当时候，我正好负责这个政治人物性道德的专题。

在 收集各国涉及性丑闻的政治人物或国家领袖的个案，发现各国对于政治人物涉入性丑闻的态度都不一样，例如；美国人在克林顿事件除了认为是属于个人问题外，并 用多个角度来检视给明政治领袖，英国人民则注重政治人物是否表里不一，也就是本社是否也犯上过去所鼓吹或谴责的道德行为、尔罗斯选民反而深刻了解到政治人 物的性丑闻可能是政治伎俩，不会把政治人物的私生活和政治工作混为一谈。

在东方国家涉及性丑闻的政治领袖，让人印象深刻的莫过于台湾璩美 凤光碟事件，不但被严重侵犯隐私权，更断送了政治前途。而日本，同样也是相对于涉及公众利益的经济丑闻，性丑闻还是属于个人私生活问题，因此也不会多谈。 而这些国家领袖在涉入性丑闻时，该国人民都会采取多重观点来检视该名领袖的表现，甚至有些认为个人隐私和政治伦理道德无关。

忽略政治人物隐私权需获保障

反 观，看回马来西亚的蔡细历光碟事件，发现我国人民对于完全忽略了政治人物的隐私权也需要获得保障。大部分的焦点和讨论都只是聚集在女主角是谁？他们之间的 关系是什么？他们做过什么等等。虽然也有一些评论人认为政治人物的道德应该放在是否损害公众利益或者使用本身的职权来换取、获得性交易。

令人玩味的是，蔡细历声称本身在担任卫生部长后由于太过于勤于跑动、巡视医院，以致让人觉得他有强烈的政治野心，才会惹祸上身。此言一出，让人不禁揣测，起性爱光碟是否跟政治斗争有关。

事 隔不久，大马政坛再次爆发雪州行政议员黄洁冰睡觉半裸、亲密关系的照片，在坊间以手机方式四处流传。巫统雪州反对党领袖基尔在接受《当今大马》访问时，更 表示黄洁冰应该效仿蔡细历，引咎辞职。然而，黄洁冰事件让我们不禁担忧马来西亚政坛出现不道德的手段来打击政敌，以破坏政治人物的形象为目的行为会越来越 频密。

落败政治人物设计谋打到政敌

我天真的以为，在 308后，我国的政治可以走向民主巩固，用选举制度和民意能够投票选出我国优秀的领导人。因为各种落败，能够促使政治人物更积极和专心，脚踏实地的经营选 民工作，把政治当成志业。然而，一次次所谓性丑闻事件，政治人物被侵犯隐私权、被偷拍，并成为打倒政敌的手段。

如果是这样的话，试想想，每当一位代议士在公平的选举上获得民意的委任而中选，但是最后因为各种针孔记录、偷拍、各种政治陷害以及使用设计、陷害的手法去揭发政治人物的私人生活，以达到自己的目的。那么，中选后人民代议士岂不是都要必须付上惨痛的代价。

我个人认为黄洁冰事件并不能单一使用道德品行作为观点，被偷拍已经是受害者，更何况在整个过程黄洁冰并没有涉及任何破坏社会利益、违反对选民的承诺、表里不一，滥用官职。而且照片是因为偷拍而出现，与个人品行道德无关，政治人物的个人隐私更不能在表面的道德所典当。

许多政治人物官职经不起考验

随科技发达的时代，相对的人们的隐私权也因为在技术发达的情况下，私人空间和生活慢慢被侵蚀。他人在对方毫无意识下，能够透过各种器材来拍摄、监视、窃听一个人行踪和交谈。

在 这种情况下，政治人物不但在外的行为举止要得体、检点，在家里也不能随随便便脱衣服，以免被摄下裸照。在冲凉的时候更要小心，以免变成春宫片，被四处流 传。甚至要过著接近禁欲般的生活，不动情、色，最好连家里的老公、老婆、情人也不要碰，避免亲密举动。因为一不小心很容易变成桃花新闻，情色事件等。

依照一个人的生活作息，有好几次裸露的次数，包括；冲凉、更衣、上厕所、到购物中心试穿衣服、睡觉，其中还不包括本身爱人正常的性行为。如果政治人物的形象被破坏，因为被偷拍裸照而需要辞职的话，那么许多政治人物的官职是多么经不起考验。

正当我国政坛出现竞争越来越激烈，局势越趋复杂的情况下，人民已经不能单纯用道德标准，是否涉及性丑闻来判断一个政治人物的品行和政治理念。反之，我们应该谴责偷拍者，让他们对破坏我国健康政治环境负责任！

Rakyat Selangor has made the right choice!

The title summarize what i want to express here so far when i'm into my new job, becoming the insider of what is going on in the state exco office. I'm currently working as a special assistant to YB Eli, in charge of matters related to environment. Basically what i am doing is like a fireman, putting off the fire set by the predecessor government, busy to right the wrongs. It's very safe to say, both YB Eli and MB Khalid have the strong political will to push for the GREEN agenda to preserve and care for the environment. Nowadays, the state has its firm principle for its environment policies to emphasize on a sustainable economic growth. Development and environmental cost are needed to consider and stay in a balance.
When i opened files and read about many cases, then only i realise how easy is the previous gov gives way to development projects without thoroughout consideration for the environmental and social impact. I'm actually very saddened to see vast size of Forest reserve lands being degazetted for various housing, industrial or agricultural projects in last 10 years. It is perhaps already a bit too late to save those valuable treasure of nature which were destroyed. What i learned from it is, preservation costs way little than rescuing/replanting... Once the damage is done (to the environment), it is done. It can never be the same anymore.

In fact, some projects did not generate much of revenue to the state government but the environment cost is HUGE. It is just not worth it at all to allow those greedy and ill-considered developer to go on. Personally i would welcome so much and support about the ban of Class 3 and 4 hillslope projects. The recent landslide on Bukit Antarabangsa testifies the decision is the right one, to protect the interest of people (home-buyers). Prior to that, how much blames and mockeries that a Pakatan Rakyat government has to endure when some developers and certain politicians called PR gov as 'anti-development'.

One thing i think this gov lacks of, is the manpower to deal with the workload especially in state exco office. A slimdown on the employment of Personal Assistant to two per exco , made the two PA overoccupied. (that is why i am specially employed through another fund) Bureucracy or red tape still do exist that slow down the speed of problem solving. This seems unavoidable. I'm still learning the way through all this, and being a facillator of problem solving when certain agencies fail to do their job well.

I'm learning a lot more about the background knowledge of Mangrove Forest and Forest Reserve in Selangor, becoming more appreciate to the nature that we should preserve. So far, this job still keeps my interest alive. I feel like i'm contributing to something good and meaningful, especially glad to work under truly enthusiatic boss(es) and colleagues. =)


P/s: i know it's a bit late... haha.. HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my friends that i haven't wished.
In case i do not write prior to CNY, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR too!

Personal update:
I'm doing fine during the absence of blog-writing period. I enjoyed a superb holiday in South Africa with my mum and fun ex-primary-schoolmates trip to Bali. Of course i had a wonderful time with my darling Von Yi during x'mas and New year ^_^
ahh~ this is the holiday i deserve for so long!!! Now waiting for a good news if any of my PhD application would be accepted.

Why somebody could be so narrow-minded?

Referring to Malaysiakini news report on Malay NGO sues Penang over signboards and the recent incident of PKNS appointment of a chinese woman as an acting General Manager, had dragged the whole nation into issue after issues of races and languages. I wonder, how come people are still not grown tired of these racial issues? Does it do any harm to anyone when the multilingual signboards are erected in the tourist attraction places? What does it really bother with these unsatisfied group of Young Malay Graduates Federation (NGO)?
They want to sue, claim that the authorities (DAP-led state gov and the Municipal Council of Penang Island) are "belittling" the official status of Bahasa Malaysia.
How could they prove this point? By displaying together with other common languages in Malaysia, is a threat to official status of Bahasa Malaysia? That is too easy to make that conclusion. I don't mind if you also demand that the font size of BM be bigger / more obvious than other languages, but i don't understand how come the existence of BM must exclude others?

On the case of PKNS appointment, why do some people still only believe in skin colour? Is it true that the same skin colour people will definitely be taking care of people who share his/her colour? I don't buy that, even chinese can cheat on other chinese, indian can fight with other indians... Person who is responsible, capable, helpful , moral, kind or of any other personality traits, cannot be determined by the race. PKNS is for developing economy in Selangor, not 'developing' racism. Put the best qualified, experienced, loyal and competent person on the job, for sure it will benefit anyone in the state. PKNS is belonged to all residents who stay in the state and who paid taxes to the state. But why do these people still insist on the 'same-kind' person ONLY to become the manager? And how naive they think that the manager's role is extended to become their imam too? Too often people mix politics with religion, now they want to mix economics with religion, to confuse people.

There is a flaw of logic too, when some argue that the most prominent position must be reserved to those who come from the majority (ethnic). A political sarcastic website dulan.org (mandarin) has published a blog entry went further to suggest that Health Minister and Transport Minister should be given back to Malay, as in those department majority is Malay civil servant. Most funny is that part saying: in a farm, when comes to who is the most suitable candidate to hold the position a farm manager, he/she must be from cows or goats because their number is way more than human! LOL

The sad reality in Malaysia is, many people whether educated or not are usually too convenient to see issues from the racial point of view, busy differentiate themselves from others into the terms 'them and us' according to skin-colour, religion and languages. Those people hold too many stereotypical perceptions on others, fail to see every one of us as individual. That is the problem - who teaches them this concept first? Teachers? Parents? Media (mouth of politicians)?

Could someone be more humanist, treat and judge each and everyone as a human being who is born the same, please?



*update*

This morning, i read my favourite political analyst writer Wong Chin Huat's article on The Nut Graph, shed some light on why many of us in Malaysia would usually react and think this racist way.

Further thoughts while discussing the related issues with my friend in his blog:
不用说得那么远，我们的邻国新加坡在每个公共告示板（包括地铁站）都用上了4种语言。那个自由，民主精神和制度还不比我国理想的国度，至少在语言的表面上还可看到该国政府给与各族的基本尊重。
你可能说，那是因为他国宪法的官方语言为那4种语言，而我国的只有一种。也许问题就是在此了。
我的疑问是，官方语言难道一定要有排他性的吗？

半夜茶

我妈说，从前的人有喝早茶和下午茶的习惯，她对现在的年轻人喜欢喝‘半夜茶’感到费解（其实讲的是我啦！）
嗯，最坏的是，现在没有喝茶kaki。一旦有机会，我想，‘半夜茶’session会是很开心的。=) 以前阿牛的那首《嘛嘛档》就是最好的写照！

只是近来的选择多了，年轻人还有冷气本土咖啡馆去喝茶。

十月/2 的天

在十月里聆听五月天的最新专辑，感受到他们对音乐的执著，用心，成熟与成长。五月天这个台湾乐队，可说是现代中文乐坛里最畅销和最多乐迷的摇滚乐队。打从他们的第一张专辑《疯狂世界》认识他们，然后因《爱情万岁》欣赏和喜欢他们，对他们复出的《时光机》专辑里的摇滚风格刮目相看，随后的专辑都保持乐队一贯的高音乐水准。坦白地说，上一张专辑《为爱而生》有点让我失望，似乎他们找不到音乐创作的突破。然而，在这一张《后青春期的诗》，让我领悟到，保有他们一向来的音乐风格，不一定要创新，其实也可以很动听，及显得很有诚意的。
值得推荐的，随手拈来就有:<笑忘歌>,<噢买尬>,<出头天>,<你不是真正的快乐>,<后青春期的诗>,<突然好想你>...
无论是感染性强，快乐喜悦upbeat的<笑忘歌>和<噢买尬>，还是类似他们之前激励人心的台语歌曲《憨人》的<出头天>（我其实蛮喜欢他们的台语歌，可惜他们不常创作），或者是以管铉乐为辅，感性的<你不是真正的快乐>和<突然好想你>，首首都很耐听。尤其是一些歌曲的感动（比如说<后青春期的诗>），是在慢慢听后，越听越有滋味和感觉，为此而动容。
对此专辑的评价，我会把它排在我的all time favourite《爱情万岁》之后。我认为这是他们其中一张career defining的专辑，一张Mayday的classic。对此，我强力推荐！


P/s:对于近年来的流行摇滚乐（pop rock)，都有一种趋势会使用管铉乐为背景，来塑造一首歌的意境和气势。我同样非常欣赏的印尼摇滚乐队Sheila On 7，也是这方面的佼佼者。

世风日下，小孩也被利用来骗人

这是真实的故事，我昨天的亲身体验...

昨天下午，我驾车绕道回家避开车龙，从住宅区另一端的路口进入回家。就在我转入靠近我家的前几个路口，首先看到路边有一个女孩，大约7或8岁，要拦住我车的去路，大动作地摇手示意我停下。我看到她好像有点慌张，以为发生了什么事情，就调下我的车窗问候。那女孩就急喊着叫我载送她和几个同伴到路的前面（尽头）。她的同伴们（两个男的，全部都貌似印尼裔）好像发现了目标，从前面往我车的方向奔跑。我问她为什么我要这样做，到底发生了什么事？那女孩也没有交代，一直重复地求我载他们一伙到前面。我就很不明白，开始怀疑了。这时，一个男孩在车前拦住我，嘴里好像也在求我载送他。我那时觉得不对劲，就调上我的车窗不再与他们谈了，缓慢地启动我的车前进。那男孩还好不是那么有种在我的车前拦太久（他应该也是害怕我会不顾一切往前走），他们3人居然不死心，拍打我的车窗，抓住我的车身和车望后镜陪跑。

一开始我的车速是真的很慢的，看到他们缠住我不放，我开始慢慢加快速度。突然，那个女孩就这样摔队，‘跌倒’在马路上，其中一个男孩还是不放弃抓住我的望后镜。在跑着跑着他也突然放手跌倒在路上，我稍微慢下来，看看他们。他们也以一种眼神回望我，似乎也好像希望我会停下来给他们。我也生怕中计，长扬而去。

读到这里，你们会怎么想呢？是你的话，会否因为他们是小孩，怜悯他们觉得无妨吗？

在马来西亚，很多时候我觉得，好心是要用在对的地方--防人之心不可无啊！好心也要懂得用脑，因为在尔虞我诈的社会行骗的人很多（找吃很难啊!),利用你的同情心的人来达到目的也大有人在。

刚才的事情，我担心被卷入骗局陷阱的机率很大...如果那时他们真的能说出一个所以然来，比如说前面我的朋友发生了意外/受伤了流血啊，我又可以看到他们惶恐不安紧张不已的眼神时，我可能会载他们一程前去看个究竟（我还是有容易受骗的潜质，不过如果是那样，我也认了--我相信这世上也有真正需要你紧急帮忙的人）。

那天，我的分析是，我担心他们上车后不肯下车...后来的事情就很难预测了。可能他们的代理人在路前埋伏，说他们是那些小孩们的父亲，找了他们很久。然后看到我载送他们，认定是我拐带他们，并恫言报警捉我。那么我不是要吃死猫不行？然后他们就威胁我，如果不交出一定的数目消灾，他们就要报警。那时我就很不利了。当然，应该还会有其他的剧本。我的直觉告诉我，他们不是真的需要我帮忙的。而他们的跌倒也是在做戏。可惜他们拿不出一个能够说服我的理由，让我给他们上车。真的是好彩！ huuuhhh~

我说出来这个可能行骗的花招，是要你们引以为鉴。不知你们有没有其他类似的经验？

Kangkung Belacan, truly Malaysia!

MCA election aftermath, a new menu combo emerges - a team dubbed 'Kangkung' wants to add a new spicy taste to suit every Malaysian's flavour, dumped the good old chinese-fried kangkung to cater just yellow-skinned people in Malaysia.
A new direction is very encouraging and promising at the beginning of announcement. How do you know they are really a good cook, not just merely good-boy waiters to take orders from the real boss? Not so much of hope if they work in a restaurant which gives preferences/privileges to and relies on Usually-Malays-Not-Orang orang lain regular die-hard customers.

I would not buy their food, whatever they cook (including kangkung) would still in bad taste for most Malaysian. As you know, the food in that restaurant is still stained with odd Mongolian bloody-smell that cannot go away... not really nice ler.
I'm not quite used to that, you know lar...and i hate to admit that i am quite a timid-kind of person -- MCA new menu is still new, i don't dare to try first. But i have conflicts with myself too, I scare if i don't try it now, later the Kangkung would be rotten or corrupted to the core, i don't even have a chance. Because the guarantor Mr. Chua who failed to get elected to become the Master chef of the cooking team, i'm becoming very worry... I don't see the new head of Kangkung team steps in front making the same promise and guarantee. What if next time the whole kitchen and restaurant are still infested and spread with all kind of political rats?

So far, my money is going to place on Rakyat's stalls for good and healthy food. I am not so easily satisfied with them either, and constantly looking forward to better menu from Rakyat's. What other things could they offer now, other than taking over the smelly restaurant aforementioned?

印象

你有曾想过别人如何记得你？你给别人的印象如何？
印象这个东西其实很玄，取决于你怎么认识他人，如何在而后交往。
别人记得你些什么，往往是对他们印象较深刻的几件事，就这样塑造了印象。也通常是特出点（可好或可坏）大于平凡点。
有时从别人口中的回馈和交谈，才知道别人一直以来对我的印象是如何。
印象可也是有时空的限制的--别人对你的印象会停留在某一个时段和地方的（如果那个‘别人’不是你一直保持联系的好友知己的话）。
我给我的中学朋友（乃至学记和学院朋友）回忆最多的是：辩论员，热衷于华文和华文学会。
到了大学，有人（大马留学生/朋友）记得我是舞蹈员，摄影师，或中文腔重，竞选大马留学生学会主席失败的学生。
的确，很多时候一些印象是片面的，因为自己没有选择积极参与某一群学生打交道，所以他们认识的我只能是片面。全面的印象塑造，需要的是时间。
所以无论他人如何看待我也好，我不会太在乎了，因为有时我明白他们为何会那样想。当然不同的是我身边较亲密的家人朋友--通常他们的反应和回馈会比较贴切，因为他们是最了解你的人，也可以信任和坦白地说出来。

印象，其实你自己在做自己时，有意无意地制造出来的。从小得到的训示还是对的：若你不要/喜欢别人讨厌你，就不要去做令人讨厌反感的事。翻过来说，也对--只要不要太刻意去讨好别人直到令人反感就好了（这点不容易）。

生活启示

1）什么叫‘麻烦’？

有时，有人会以为因为小事，不必去‘烦’别人帮助。自以为是地着手去解决问题，结果把事情搞得越来越糟糕时，才把问题丢回给物主去解决，这才叫sibeh麻烦！（估计花了8小时去研究和解决电脑问题，原本只需花2小时的IBM全自动电脑复苏Programme已被一洗而空）

2）要命，谁的命？

下雨天驾车很危险。那天下午，我已不是很快的速度驾着车。前面路边有一群摩多骑士正在天桥底下躲着雨。当我正要驶近他们时，有一个摩多阿叔突然骑出来，我被逼作及时反应稍微闪去另一条车道，斜后方正好有另一辆车还好也不是驾的很快，慢下来给我‘吃’进来了。我与妈妈在车上都已心惊胆跳了，我真的很生气，就在车上开骂了（当然那阿叔是听不到的）。我想，万一我后方是冲力十足飞驰着的罗里大车的话，我应该要闪过去那车道承担自己（和我母亲）生命的危险，还是干脆撞那摩多骑士算了？是你的话，你选择什么呢？

我在不久前才得知马来西亚是全世界拥有最多电单车/平均人口的国家。数据也显示电单车涉及的车祸率和死亡率也是在国内最高的。我就不明白为何，那位大叔这样敢敢来‘找死’。到底是其他公路使用者不体贴或鲁莽，还是电单车骑士自己的问题？

前一段落的问题，我的回答--别怪我自私--在那种情况下，我不会突然改道了。我觉得，因为别人的鲁莽而自己付出代价是非常不公平的。

所以，摩多骑士们，你们最好自己保重，小心点！

3）Old town kopitiam 在 Modern place是没有人情味的

我一直都觉得很反感，为什么一些不值几钱的顾客服务，却要向顾客收过份的费用呢？
你们知道，在英国无论大小高贵廉价餐厅，你要白开水，他们不只不可以说‘不’或‘没有’，还要为你端来免费的（有些还特地加上些lemon片呢！）。
那天我与母亲在那里用下午茶。我叫了一杯热的'cham',我妈叫了一杯old town咖啡。端来时，我与妈妈的饮料都‘漂浮’着四分之一的咖啡泡沫（eh,我们可没有叫你tarik咧--我想是因为那些咖啡机吧！）。取走了泡沫，我喝的‘cham' 几乎都是咖啡，没感觉到丁点的奶茶味。然后我妈的咖啡太‘重’，我的也是，就要求了一杯热水。端来的一小杯热水给我们调淡和‘漱口’，后来发现竟然值70sen！很小杯而已也，不到300ml！一点的顾客服务也要这样收费吗？我们又不是特地只是喝它的热水赖死不走嘛。气愤！

我还记得一些餐厅连开胃豆和湿纸巾都要算顾客的钱，然后又不先让顾客知道那是收费的服务--第一，那是欺骗/不老实/unethical，第二，那是叫小气！那些东西到底值多少钱？为何他们要用这样的方式来‘得罪’顾客呢?
就是不明白大马人做生意的mindset...良好的customer service都要以金钱来衡量的？

回国前的旅游观光

我在上个月初时就把我的论文搞定了。我就先释放自己去找朋友游玩了。原本想租借车子一口气从Cardiff驾到英国著名的旅游胜地Cornwall省，结果路程实在太远了，只好到Somerset省的Exmoor国家公园看看（坦白说，车里的3人根本在这之前一点都没有停过此地）。值不值得一游呢？就看一下的照片集就好了：
http://travel.webshots.com/album/566731550AnLyRt?vhost=travel

另一天，同一辆车，车子少了一人。我与伟康两人就上路到威尔斯的Brecon Beacons National Park (奇怪的是我那么热衷于走动他国的国家公园，自己国家的Taman Negara还未去过)。 山峦起伏，间中辽阔的平原，是个值得足行的胜地。若天气较好，和我有更多的时间，我想我会涉足征服这些不太高的山峰，从高眺望远方。
http://travel.webshots.com/album/566733836ahuEej?vhost=travel

在另一个匆忙召集的苏格兰旅程，只见我与两位系友参与。同样的，我们租用一辆车子（全程我驾驶，累）。我们锁定的目标为Loch Lomond and The Trossachs National Park (哈哈，看来我酷爱国家公园的），Glasgow, Stirling 和 Edinburgh. 四天三夜的旅程要涵盖这么广的地方，是我自己找苦吃。第二晚我们冒着很大的风险，连夜摸黑地驾往一个异常偏僻的青年旅馆。外面几乎没有一丝的路灯光，路面窄小，我的精神紧张，眼睛非常吃力地看住前方，生怕在哪个转弯处会与哪个车子碰个正着，或驾出路面。最后，车子就没有看到，迎面来了两个人还真吓坏了我们。我还傻乎乎地问我的朋友，他们有没有脚的。那天是中秋节，我们刚好有月饼庆中。到了旅馆，卸下了包包，就到厨房/饭厅庆祝--因为外面下雨，没有月光赏呀！在苏格兰旅游期间也是蛮倒霉的，4天里3天下雨。原本景色漂亮壮观的Lomond湖，也只是灰色一片。真扫兴啊！
http://travel.webshots.com/album/567691482TxWmUc?vhost=travel

我回来了！

是的，首先是我回到了我的老家，Subang Jaya. 有点不好意思的是，我竟然在回家后的一周后，才在此作宣布--似乎有点太迟了。原谅我的行动缓慢，哈！

第二，是我决定再重出网络部落格江湖了。我‘隐藏’练功了很久了。现在我的学业算有成了，回到老家又能与家人和佳人重聚，找到了更开心的理由。或许如果我好好重整过去两个月的心路里程，我会有更多的心得与大家分享。

如今在这里必须积极地再尝试申请在海外念博士，非要殆尽所有的方式申请到有助学金的博士学位不可！但是，预算最快开课/开始博士研究也得等到明年九月或十月吧！大约有九个月的时间要（考虑）做一些什么短期性的工作来提升我的覆历。今年剩余的时间都属于我的吧！我也该好好休息享受生活了（很久没这样了）--约好了我的小学同学在十二月中，去巴厘岛去游玩叙旧（没想到吧！）；下个月陪伴我母亲到南非去游玩（那是她非常向往的地方）--她总是说，趁她还走得动，跑得快时，去远的地方游山玩水。我知道其实她最想去的还是欧洲大陆--英国，法国，荷兰，瑞士等等的国家。

***
回来不到一个星期我就‘中招’了--平时少吃一点健康的食物没有关系，只要吃了点不干净的食物就足于让我躺在床上一天半，奔驰于厕所和睡房之间，胃也被清洗了。

确实，住在巴生河流域的市民可深深体会生活不太好过了-百物涨价，钱不够用！涨幅还是有目共睹的，一年的变化不可说不大。目前我回来不是受薪人士，钱就不好随便‘开’了。

政治闹剧还在上演，很多人还在那儿争权夺位，口说改革，什么体惜民困啦，最后也不是门面话，党选后再说其他的话溜开了责任。旧政治一不翻新，人民可要自己保重了。

给秀玲支持的Open Letter

嗨，秀玲，你好！真的好久不见了。一开始知道你的消息时，有少少的惊讶，因为你除了癌症外，现在又多了一担啊...我是说你的TB菌啊，乘虚而入。还好你也是生性乐观的，对于你的working holiday的决定，我觉得是好得不得了！看到你和绪庄在纽西兰的照片，有点像是你们两人在度蜜月咧！哪门的病人啊,你的气色还真不错！;-) 我赞成，纽西兰的环境目前很适合你们（尤其是你的健康福利）。我也蛮羡慕的。

我目前在一个比TB更强的病毒实验室做我的硕士研究--猜猜看？
是爱滋病毒咧，怕吗？我没事，专业的很！TB实验室也在我的同一个部门。你的资料没说错，只要你好好修身健体，TB菌是很容易被控制的。我们的免疫系统可不是简单的！好好照顾自己啦，没有什么可以轻易打倒你的，只要你不放弃。

马来西亚的政经文教各领域至今还没有什么头绪，但有越来越多人投入‘救国’的行列中，别担心。即使不是站在最前线，你还是很有用的哦！别忘记我们的朋友们几乎全部都没有放弃过支持正义和自由的斗争。你和我都一样，身在海外，心系大马，支持任何与我们同一阵线的战友。 =）

说真的，我还蛮想去纽西兰去度假。那里实在是太美了！既然你们会呆在那里一些时候，说不定我还可能可以拜访你们tim! hehe

好了，祝安康！

（我知道你会很得空，也许会游览到我的blog来领接我给你的surprise回复！谢谢你登门造访，让我重新知道你的近况。保持联络）

翰

生活update 727

时间过得真快，现在已经在倒数2个月的状态。很快就大功告成，（希望可以）凯旋归来马来西亚。这个星期将会是我的最后一个星期在实验室做实验工作了，接下来只会在家里埋头苦干，绞尽脑汁完成我的论文。

***

在不同国度和文化，别人会给你一些印象而你自己不认为。
举例来说，我的导师（supervisor）会认为我勤力，很有冲劲和上进心，对我很刮目相看。而坦白来说，我感到有点惭愧，因为我并不觉得，反而常常想偷懒。我的好友说：‘这不就好嘛，如果他们不认为如此，你才有问题’。说的也是，我也只好尽量表现出来。相比与我同室的意大利博士学生同事和另一位同事，我的表现还算不错--也许这是这里的研究工作环境吧，节奏放缓，不急不迫。但是我听说，若我改次在德国或瑞士读博士就会感受到不同的拼劲了。也许亚洲人本来就应该很勤力才对的，不然心理就会不平衡或过意不去。

我的导师很想留我下来，作她的博士学生，只是她无法给我助学金支持我。再加上如今我的两个博士申请被拒绝，暂时我的未来还未定。我想，申请工作也需要一点耐性，可能目前在还未硕士毕业前我的条件还不是太好。助学金？我有点不知如何找给她。说实在的，我确实想出走英国到欧洲大陆（德国或瑞士）继续我的学位。我也感觉到欧洲大陆的大学较慷慨，愿意给以升学机会和助学金栽培他们。而英国则把海外学生当他们的赚钱工具，我相当不悦。这可能是现实吧，其他欧洲国家需要下更多的功夫和砸更多的金钱，增加他们的吸引力来说服顶尖人才过去那里助他们一把。我希望我会是受益者。

为什么要继续博士？不少人都会如此问。以我目前的情况，若要在我的本行继续钻，博士应该是最好的选择。我把它当作是我的学术工作之一，希望能赚钱之余（助学金里的生活津贴），趁我还年轻达到我的学位的最顶峰，不让我将来有遗憾。我本身会有趁热打铁的心态，若不是现在，以后的事很难说--比如说我投入了其他的工作和其他的因素，届时不是说要抽身干干脆脆去读博士就可以了。

***

上个星期我与婉仪庆祝了我们的二周年纪念。当天我们互相给对方的惊喜，也像是一种默契。日常生活的支持和精神上的依靠让我们一路走下去，感受到爱的存在。不知不觉中，我们分隔两地了近9个月了。这些日子说难不难，说易不易-难的是，谁不想即刻就在你所爱的人的身边？就在这里，一段感情需要理智和信念来领航。我们都有共同对未来的憧憬，脚踏实地地携手往那理想走去。也许在这年代，不少人都对感情抱着较悲观，而且相信现实就是如此。相信浪漫，制造浪漫的人也许是异数。我认为，很多事情其实是掌握在自己的手中。在生命里，每个人都是自己的导演，自己写自己的结局。不要看小自己的能力，其实你的举动可以决定命运，积极化理想为现实。我很庆幸能找到和拥有一个与我同样信念的人，一起创造我们的未来。^_^


节哀顺变，馨怡。希望你能坚强地面对未来度过难关。
生日快乐，huey in!

DNA profiling is NOT the best evidence

There is no use for the minister or people like Khairy to challenge for Forensic DNA profiling for Anwar's Sodomy case part 2. I must regress and take back my earlier thoughts that DNA profiling is the best evidence in this case. Normally this method is quite reliable to convict the accused, when the integrity of the investigative team and the police force is not compromised -- they must be independent and professional to gain confidence in public. Still it is not the only proof the prosecution team has to produce.

It is very likely that the result of this DNA profiling be fabricated, to serve the conspiracy theory. I wonder if Saiful still has any of Anwar's 'criminal' samples - such as Pubic hair or semen in/on him, after so long he had been 'sodomized'. I seriously doubt. So, what is there to match if he doesn't obtain these specimen? The best that Saiful can get for DNA profiling is Anwar's hair. This is not too difficult for him to obtain as he is working close to Anwar. But hair sample could be used to yield Anwar's DNA too, DNA profile will be identical to any other part of him. Of course if Anwar is willing to give his DNA sample to match, it will be the perfect match to the his own hair. The question is, how can hair be the decisive evidence to convict someone in sexual crime? How do we know if the DNA specimen obtained from Saiful is semen or pubic hair (he could still obtain this in Anwar's bathroom or toilet, mind you!), not hair? What if police or investigative team just order some dodgy forensic doctor to fabricate the result by duplicating the sample provided by Anwar? This shows how easily the authority could set Anwar up.

That is why i said, DNA profiling should not be the only evidence, and not the best one in this case. I would not believe any of that result unless they could clear my early doubts mentioned here.

Witnessed the historic debate

Last night, i would call the historic debate event a success. I still hope to see more debates like this televised for public, on other issues or topics. A mature democratic society should encourage more debates or forum or discussion on various issues. Suppressing dissent views is a tactic used in the past that proves unsuccessful in the new era of e-generation. It is a good sign that the government step up to face the public for the first time to debate on policy that affects/rocks the whole nation.

This kind of debate should be held especially just before General Election, so that the voters could compare different policies and visions of one party, and get educated in the intellectual process. Thus, they are able to make their informed decision. This is what i called Democracy in action when the people is exposed to all the information concerned them.

From the beginning to the end, i'm more convinced by Anwar. Put aside my affiliation with PKR, the party which i support (for what it worths of the policies they proposed and endorsed) and my personal admiration for Anwar's oratory, on the technical ground of debating, my verdict would be Anwar 8 - Shabery 5 (on the scale of 10). In my opinion, Anwar did successfully make his stand clear and plausible. The argument that if he forms the government tomorrow, he will slash the price of fuel 50 sen, and he is able to show where the money will be coming from, to sustain the amount of subsidies he proposed. This almost goes unchallenged by the opponent who went around to do personal attack, rather hit on the topic or engage with the new policy Anwar stands for. This is kinda regret for me. As a government Minister, he seems like having less statistics, figures and facts to back his argument up, than the former Finance Minister. He drew up his points mostly figuratively and lack of depth in his analysis of the fuel hike issue. His economics sense is quite poor, and that is the major flaw to let the more experienced person Anwar to get the upperhand on few of the crucial arguments on the impact of Fuel hike costs to the national economics growth and inflation.

On the contrary to his recent fiery speeches in many ceramahs, yesterday he acted very gentlemen, and statesman-like. His objective and message are rather clear, speaking with confidence and knowledge -- giving me the impression that 'I know how to run this country's economics, if you are incompetent or ignorant, please don't stand in my way and get me the hot seat now-- i will prove to you that i can do it'!
that's why if Finance minister (our PM Pak Lah) or at least Finance second minister come on stage to challenge, Anwar will not get away with that so easily. I think he made a very good preventive stand to state that he will only reduce 50 sen, within his undoubted ability limit. Although this implies that he did not intend to fulfill his pledge in the last General Election (this is the only qualm i had about him tonight, slightly disappointed), it is still true that he will and he could bring down the fuel price to the extent he said. It says a lot about Anwar, that he is a realistic and practical politician. He could come clean on what he really believe, but himself is a great political tactician. This kind of politician is most likely to succeed, survive and revive.

Funny enough, Shabery still accused Anwar of taking Petronas coffer money out to subsidise the people, i think he really did not pay attention to Anwar's speech just before him. Anwar stated clearly that he wants Petronas to reinvest their small part of interest for the benefits of the GLC. He defended Petronas but just criticized BN government for mishandling the economics. The accusations Shabery threw at Anwar lie bare, and makes it more obvious that Shabery might have prepared/rehearsed his arguments. Perhaps he could not change at that time being, it is out of his expectation that Anwar cleverly shifted the goal post and avoided embroiled in the obvious argument trap.

Overall, even though i did not see face to face with many points raised by Shabery, i still grant a pass for him as a government representative. He has expressed out very much the government wants him to bring out, and considers him has done the job well to impress the boss (while making Anwar appears 'ugly' with all those personal attacks). I am quite satisfy with the debate yesterday night. =)

The TV live debate was broadcast for the first time in Malaysia history. I am very pleased to watch it online after my work. It's nostalgic -- it reminds me of the good old days of debating during my secondary school and college years. At the same time, i learned that Sunway University College has sent their chinese debate team for Intervarsity Chinese Debate (Quan Bian) this year, and UPM had performed quite well in the recent Asian Pacific intervarsity chinese debate. All these events suddenly making me attached to debating once again.

最近

看了纷纷扰扰的大马政治‘连续剧’，给了很多人一种乱象的感觉。主导着的政治大人物看起来真的很忙，忙着解决自己惹上或被惹上的事。人民的生活如何？安华确实有把人民的课题挂在嘴边，而纳吉甚至连说都说不出来了—被记者左问altantuya右问Bala的SD，忙透了。安华放出风声说要来个‘换政府’东马青蛙跳跳季候风，搞得国阵政府都不能专心念政了。现在做多了也是白费心机的，谁想要在不久后自己的心血被政敌抢功劳？他们现在可以做的是，干扰民联5州政府的运作，试图制造一种印象民联政府也是办事不力。我想，如果要换政府就尽快吧！我已不想听到再多的口头承诺，要嘛，就尽快以行动来证明吧，不然就别浪费新闻版位和我阅读新闻的时间（我发觉近来已对一些政治新闻感到郁闷了，就skip着读）！
说起来，目前民联在落实大选承诺方面，还未能真正让我乐观起来。也许是抱着一定的期望，所以也会比较急迫起来。我相信，若真的要显示改革的诚意，不会太难。我希望看到的（而州政府应该能做到的）：地方政府选举和资讯自由法案，至今仍看似遥遥无期，领导班子好像不太热衷。至于设立影子内阁方面，更提不起兴趣。我相信民联里的议员素质是不容置疑的。理论上，成立一个值得人民钩起幻想的梦幻内阁组合应该不是问题。问题应该还是在于民联内的各党合作基础仍薄弱，各党依旧各自为政，政治行为依然像过去在野党一般。其实我最想看到的是长期能持久性，详细的发展计划和政策。目前国阵与民联看起来只好像有意识上的分别，单看政策还未真正分别出这两个政治联盟的不同。无论如何，现在我仍确信民联会是较廉洁的政府，议员们的人格是可以被信任的。

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聊到了我自己，事到如今只剩下好好完成我的‘大作’-硕士论文。下周我又要‘离家出走’，搬出去寄宿我LSE朋友的家大约两个月（已说好的啦，是互惠互利啦）。已搬家过的人应该了解搬家的麻烦，这次我就事先把一半的‘身家’运回大马。九月底吧，你会看见我亲自把另外一半的身家搬回来。是的，我继续留在英国深造的机率很低。嘿嘿，我不曾说我不会再出国，只是换个地方继续完成我的梦想。

读生物科技或者现在就读的免疫学，在大马最常被人问到的是，以后你可以有什么就业的机会？基本上，要做回老本行，在大马或只有去钻学术界。同样的，在外国也是一样呀，只是在学术界上的需求高机会多待遇更好罢了。除此之外，你还可以考虑进入医药研究商业机构，也是做研究研发的工作。

在大马生活如今就像‘老鼠赛跑’，薪水的不变应对生活开销的万变，对于很多人日子不容易过。月入三千在今天来讲也无法给自己对未来的保障，只能见一步行一步。怎么能让我安心呢？纵使我愿意成为学术人员（小学时填写的‘科学家’），也不想被金钱问题缠绕着。我希望我的贡献付出，能值一定的待遇，这样才能保持士气去工作，为理想也为现实。即使论良心工作为国为民，在其它的地方更有潜能让我施展抱负，为国争光。所以，在这里做个小结，因为我还不能决定在大马会做些什么学术相关的工作，我会继续留在国外以升学同时工作（就读phD就是一种工作）来赚外汇和知识。何乐不为呢，如果他们赏识我愿意资助我的一切的话。

Disgusted!

I can't believe this new allegation against Anwar... i feel extremely disgusted by the political motive behind this to defame Anwar by this same old dirty trick... Do they really think this time they will make people believe? Do they think people are stupid? I'm certainly not!!!
This is certainly a very wrong move from UMNO/BN if they were behind this... the difference between allegation towards Najib and Anwar is, no one would be angry or protest against the allegation for Najib (more people would incline to believe there is more truth than not) but you will see different scenario for Anwar. Certainly not the case of sodomy, again! I'm sure UMNO/BN will get the serious backlash and repercussion from within if they move on to charge Anwar.

正义无价？

对于一些人，还是脱离不了凡间对虚名，权位和利益的追求，就不问事情的对错。很多时候，不站在道理这边，就是助长另一边的歪风；顾及到自己的利益，却牺牲了全局。试问自己有没有为大局的未来发展设想？落实正义和站稳立场难道就只有一个办法？世上还是有很多现实的考量，唯独不能让自己的原则和是非判断缺席。默许不合理的事情发生，就是认同该人的做法。除非你并不觉得不合理和违背良心，不然默许或支持劣行就是出卖自己的灵魂。一些权位也只是身外物或虚荣而已，没有什么实际的好处。更可贵的是其中的意义。如果涉及的只是自己的利益，自己还可以做现实的考量；但是如果你的决定也会涉及群体利益，苟且偷生或自私的念头不能存在。若你真是靠如此办法讨好屈服权威而上位，无论如何你还是没有道德权威去领导和取信于团体。一开先列，就设立了非常坏的榜样和示范。
我没有要求你们一定要对着干。对于不合理行为，要智取，要据理力争。须知做错事的人不敢见光，最怕道理这回事。没有受到道德谴责，他们以后就会屡试不爽，逍遥法外。

正义是我崇高的原则，道理是力争的方法。即使没有直接涉及到我，我还是不能苟同有心人为了私利而不择手段。即使不是大事件，看到不正义，我还是会不吐不快。

Original Sin of a politician (depends on which side)

This blog is written in reaction to recent issues raised by Hannah Yeoh, my constituency assemblywoman from Pakatan Rakyat. You could read the full story in her blog. In short, the incident could be summaried like this… Hannah Yeoh was invited to attend her (and also my) high school – SMK Subang Utama’s Prefects Reunion annual gathering (not-specified whether as VIP) which she was the Head prefect back in year 1996 and the founder of this annual reunion event. The event is organized by ex-prefects whom are the school graduates, as a private event. But somehow, the top two authority of the school were issuing stern warning and threats to the teachers and the current prefects not to attend the event if Hannah Yeoh is definitely a guest, or else they will face serious consequences of demoting or sacked from current positions (and other unknown consequences). The reasons they gave (from my sources) are: 1) Hannah Yeoh is an OPPOSITION politician, 2) Her presence will bring bad name to the school or affect the school’s development. Just based on these two premises, the top two school authority wants the organizing committee to withdraw the invitation and hence deny Hannah Yeoh’s right to attend the event.

From this story, I don’t know how do you look into this matter… to you, maybe it is just a petty issue regarding a private event, but the top two school authority certainly don’t think it’s a small matter to them. In my opinion, they are certainly overreacted and, perhaps to a large extent, serve their personal motive to please their ‘master’ (who else?). The reasons they gave are totally unfounded and absurd!!! First, what is wrong with politician? They are elected by the people through democratic practice, to serve their electorate and the community. They are not criminal or gangster or a disgrace personnel. I admit that, even i used to be annoyed by my ex-state assemblyman Lee Hwa Beng so much to see him presence in my official high school function, but i do not think that is in anyway inappropriate to invite him.

Okay, I see more sense now, it MUST be the reason because Hannah is from ‘opposition’? right? WRONG! Hannah Yeoh is a Pakatan Rakyat assemblywoman, which is a part of Selangor State GOVERNMENT. Oh, is it really nothing about whether from which side, politician will certainly spoil the party or the good name of the school? Come on, who is politicking the issue now? I am sure Hannah Yeoh is okay to just sit there to meet her old friends and giving her moral support to the prefects of SMKSU. She does not represent her political party to attend the event, but just represent herself as an alumni and ex-head prefect. I bet also that she did not request to be the guest speaker, and doesn’t mind to put aside her politician identity. Why must ‘mengheboh-hebohkan’ this issue? Nobody will give a damn if it is not for slick(sick)-minded top two school authority. What is so serious until issuing warning and even threats to young-minds and already-so-tired-and-low-morale teachers? Is this the message they are trying to send: Absolute obey and submit to the Authority, no questioning? It is all because of these feudal-minded bureaucrats who spoil the whole education systems. How could you expect bright students be taught and brought up from this kind of education environment and mentality? Ordinary school teachers are very little to be blamed, however professional they are performing (and coping), they are very demotivated and tired, all because of these selfish-minded bureaucrats who don’t give a damn about educational quality.

To me, Hannah Yeoh is one of the exceptional alumni, which the whole school should be very proud of having one. While she is serving in this constituency, you could expect she will be contributing more to her deeply-loved high school. It is very very shame for me, as an alumni, to see that happening. Some people just don’t see the logic.

I’m very concern, and learning that the organizing committee is under intense pressure to solve the matter. They also fear of losing too many participants (which could lead to debt) and worrying about the threats to the current students and teachers. Meanwhile, they are also reluctant to initiate and set a bad example to bow to unacceptable threats from the authority, and therefore opening the case for subsequent years to follow. Between protection of the welfare of beloved students and teachers and standing their ground, it is certainly not an easy task. I do hope everyone (especially SMKSUian) who reads and understands this could help to spread the stories and do not let ‘bad guys’ easily go through. We must stay conscious and informed to make a judgment, on certain rights or wrongs. Evil motives or intentions fear the TRUTH the most. Unless more people are aware and keeps seeking the TRUTH, evil will triumph.

Hannah Yeoh: SMKSU Prefects' Reunion

Is Cycling to Parliament a good idea for MPs?

Hi YB Tian Chua,

I just watched your biking video from Mkini tv. As i am now also a cyclist in London (when going to university), I have few comments to make about your cycling practice. I think you guys should cycle on the side of the road, definitely NOT in parallel but one after another. As you guys were doing that, you blocked the traffic flow all the way. Furthermore it's dangerous to do so. As a cyclist, you must be considerate to the motorists also, then only they would do the same.

What you voiced out (in the video)is very true, leave alone cyclists, there is even lack of motorcycle-designated routes, exposing them in great danger too. One thing about cycling in KL city, the risk of doing that often is almost comparable to begging for accidents to happen. I don’t want you to discourage you to go on cycling, but taking good care of your safety should also be a priority. Cycling once in a while is Okay… people will be saying that what you are doing is just a stunt for publicity. Well, i guess it is fair enough, for raising awareness to public. This just prove the point that cycling in city is impractical, while public transport is still like Sh**, there is no way people won’t get affected by the fuel hike (don’t mention bout the chain effect leading to high inflation). So, what is next? Jogging to Parliament?

Let the figure & fact tell you something...

Kok Fah raised a very good analogy in his latest blog entry. If you were a pork farmer, you would be happy that the pork meat price is increased. This means you could earn more. Therefore, when you go to market and buy more expensive pork, you will not even complain a word, because in your calculative mind, you know that you are earning far exceed the amount you are spending on the purchase. But looking at the fact now, are you happy to live in a petroleum exporting country Malaysia, but the petrol price is the highest in all these oil producing countries? Is this socially just and fair?

I must clarify my stand that government's subsidy should only be reduced or abolished once they have done enough to cushion the fiscal economical negative impact. Definitely not at this stage. Increase the fuel price now is unjustified. In a few years ahead (a year or two before the country becomes a net importer) i support the policy of slowly increase of the fuel price.
Other way to resolve this, is to pay greater compensation for car users, in a bid to raise people's real income. The situation now is gone out of hands, not good for the poor, and not good for the rich either. Not good for BN government's reputation/credibility, not good for economy too. So, what is remaining good to remove the subsidies now?

Here is a clever piece of calculation by someone included in RPK's recent blog writing. I recommend you to read, you'll be inspired.

My views on petrol hike

With reference and reaction to the source of Chin Huat's good blog article 'An Unpopular Position on Petrol Hike - Real Income, not Relative Price' and RPK's 'Yes, let us get angry, but about the right things' here I would like to make my stand on the Fuel Hike decision by BN government.

In a long term, I would not support a policy of continuation in fuel subsidies at very low price, due to the foreseeable increasing market price in raw petroleum in near future. That means more money required to fill the hole in national budget for this subsidy, which is probably unsustainable in long term. I do feel the pinch of the fuel hike, as all my family members are also car-drivers, and the fact that many people especially in Klang Valley can hardly ‘mobile’ without private transportation. If the price rise is to remind the people to curb the excessive spending on petrol and become less dependent on government subsidies to support your transportation ‘lifestyle’, on that motion I support the government’s decision. The subsidy, if it is used properly, this could be more beneficial to the community in many other important public sectors such as health, education and transport. I agree with Chin Huat that it is definitely greener (to encourage people to use petrol less), and make all of us aware that petrol is a limited and precious natural resource. The rebate/compensation to relieve the pain of price rise is also the right way to address this issue, but i cannot see how this small amount of rebate could do much impact on the normal household.

Government is absolutely wrong to judge the public outcry towards this unpopular decision. The more they are trying to explain (even though there contains some truth within), but to many people, the more they sound like shouldering the burden to the people when they refuse to take the responsibility of the mismanagement of the economy all these whiles. If our living standard and average household income are on par with South Korean or Singaporean, we would probably just grudge and mumble few (Malaysian famous last) words when paying the petrol for the first month, and get used to it very soon. Now whatever the reason the government given to ‘educate’ people would just sound hypocrisy, certainly will not dampen their outrage now. The root cause of this problem is not about the petrol price. The lack of good transportation alternatives and poor transport system planning, relatively lower real income and purchasing power of the ordinary middle-class citizen, and the recent inflation rate, are among the factors that disappoint and depress most of Malaysians. Current salary/wage level just undermine the input, the talent and the contribution of most of the citizen to Malaysia’s economy. First, they don’t really deserve to become poorer because of rather lousy government’s economic management. In passing years, all I heard about ordinary citizens’ complaint that their effective income drops, salary cannot catch up with the inflation rate, life is more difficult here in Malaysia nowadays. It is very sad to hear this, because it’s not their fault. Maybe some people would ask, why are we paying more while we are still a net petroleum exporter country? What kind of benefits do we get out of that? How come Venezuela, a poorer country than Malaysia is, could afford to support the subsidy at a level many would never imagine to be paying for one litter of Petrol (which is currently about 17 times cheaper than Malaysia)? Although I’m not a supporter of fuel subsidy in the long run, those are still many valid questions to ask and demand good answers from the government. Have the government done enough to cater for the welfare of ordinary citizen?

Here I would like to highlight the issue of the long term non-transparency and non-accountability of the national petroleum and gas government-linked-company PETRONAS to the mass public, since their first operation. I read articles somewhere before, about the curse of countries rich in natural resources. These natural resources never really translate into the prosperity that their people dream of. Africa continent has many countries are/were rich in minerals and even the most valuable diamond, but the human greed/corruption takes all, nothing left for the general poor citizen. Worse still, people are/were suffering more for that because of the never-ending civil wars to fight for the limited resources. If you watch the movie ‘Blood Diamond’, it will inspire you to realize how important is the existence of good democratic transparent accountable institutions when comes to the management of national wealth and economic planning for future. I always wonder why not many people would care about what is happening with Petronas and where igs the money (3 trillion RM) gone or spent? All the expenditure/wastage spent on mega-white-elephant projects by Petronas– KLCC, Putrajaya, KLIA, F1 circuit, how many actually contribute the direct benefits to the people in the end? Not long ago I read about the expenditure to keep Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra, paid by Petronas, is so ridiculous. This is just another showcase of wastage. Imagine if Petronas’ account is open to public scrutiny, and all the stakeholders would have the influence/say on the important decision of the company’s investment, wouldn’t the precious petroleum resource already enriched us and transformed us to an advanced nation status?

The price to pay for keeping an incompetent government is just too much. Now people are struggling to live, and bear enough of the suffering! Nevermind the price hike, people’s grouse cannot be unheard. I would support any movement to make Petronas to be accountable to people/parliament, good transport system planning and other compensations (that people deserve) to relieve people’s living pressure. Current rebate is just too little to help! Review the sudden spike of price rise is necessary. Price control / subsidy at this stage is still reasonable, judging on the massive revenue generated from Petronas because of the increasing price per oil barrel. People deserve to have a share of the benefits. A caring government must give its people ample time to slowly adapt to the new reality, step by step, while working hard to look for other alternative plans to improve the current transport situation and to control the inflation rate.

China-man?

Is it a derogative word? To me, I could not agree, I’m afraid. But I would like to distance myself from that, because it doesn’t suit me in any sense. If they want to say, I’m a Malaysian-man!

I’m very puzzle that EP told me that her friends (our mutual friends, although now she’s closer to them than I am) think that I’m like a ‘China-man’. If you ask me, I don’t want to take it as an insult but what they characterize me is just not correct. To my understanding, they might just be playful and joke around (it’s their style of poking people around by ‘insults’ even among themselves). If this were really their perception, they must base on their understanding that I am a Chinese-speaker, and don’t mix often with those English-speakers (Malaysian) like them. (‘Banana’ is a bad word to describe those couldn’t speak their mother tongue but mainly speak English – strange enough people don’t refer to those who speak Malay or other languages, to show English supremacy in many people’s belief)

I would like to point out the usual scenario of many Malaysian overseas students especially in big city like London. In my observation, the bigger group of Malaysian students in one university, the less tendency of students get in touch with other group of students. Geographical and language are the most important factors to set the division and polarization. This is quite obvious, on the surface, if you walk into Imperial College and see how International students group themselves. I concede that it is a natural tendency to have like-mix-with-like, as there is always a comfort zone to stay. I am being critical at times, to indicate some of my Malaysian friends who stay too comfortably in this zone, and they are less than seldom to initiate their interaction with the group outside their own. Ok, I could see that they treat asian people better, and it is more likely they could become friends, for example, Singaporean and Thai (geographical factor), and then Hong Kong people, and Mainland Chinese (language factor). But their mind is not open more globally. I’m regret for those who labeled me as ‘China-man’ (I doubt if EP said what they really mean). I’m sorry to say, I’m very proud of my mother-tongue and the fact that I could use it eloquently. I will continue to speak my own language but open my mind to improve other languages I’m learning/using. Also, I’m a truly Malaysian citizen, to me, my nationality always come first before my ethnicity. ‘China-man’ is just a false statement to fit me into the shoes. I don’t mean insult, but if I were to use that phrase to match who is among my friends who suit it the best, I would suggest Dave. It’s due to the fact that he loves China very very much, is very supportive of China’s policies, and love their food, martial arts and many more.

I know what I am doing, and aware that what have influenced and shaped me all these whiles. Although I’m not of extrovert kind of personality, I have no problem to get along and hang out with many people from various backgrounds. I feel better that way, as I treasure the experience of studying abroad better in learning people’s culture and interacting with their world. That is something valuable I would like to tell my children next time, support and encourage them to do in future. =)