Wednesday, July 26, 2006

这就是前进阵线等等的进步学生组织该努力的地方

上个星期日,我才与其中一位仍在本地大学念书的老朋友聊天。很不经意地,我们就聊到才发生不久的博大生校园亲学生阵线遇欺压的丑闻事件。我的朋友感到十分同情,还有少许的气愤和无奈。她是为全国升学辅导组织服务的,基本上也是做着对大学生有贡献的活动,尤其是对‘非土著’学生而言。她说现今她所看到的大学录取制度(我都不屑说那里存在着一个‘制度’),一年不如一年,事实上还比固打制度时期更欠公平。这些,如果稍微有作留意也应该会发现到。不过,不是所有人都能很客观地看待课题常常把种族情绪发泄在友族的身上就是看不到问题的根源。

不过询及她接下来会如何应对,就可以看到她的思想比较消极的一面。她认为,目前的期望是希望问题不会再恶化下去(虽然知道这种期望是一点都不切实际的),然后固守目前的防线。我就反问道,如果她和她的组织(全升)不主动出击,夺回失地,或至少把防线拉前,她又怎么能确保就守不失呢?虽然全升的功能犹在,但是所捍卫的防线已随着恶化的本地大学录取制,而节节败退。校方当局(或高等教育部)更是乐于看到学生消极地争取权利,才敢肆无忌惮地继续打压和欺凌大学生,公然欺骗大马社会全民。在我眼里,目前全升只是做着事后修修补补的工作,无助于改善情况。若不积极结合其他进步的学生组织的力量,恐怕最后于事无补。

再问及她为何不积极参与前进阵线的活动?她有所顾虑--从她的言语当中就可看得出校方或是主流媒体或是执政党的论述的逻辑影子。这些‘主流’的论述是多么地根深蒂固,牢牢地控制着很多大学生的思想,制造非常有效的恐惧心理。对于校园真实情况缺乏全面的了解,才会轻易地听信只字片语。可是我感觉到他们的恐惧是多么真实的--他们害怕被停学,被警察抓,被校方捉去问话,和所引发的种种问题。的确,我知道不是每个人都能承受得住。我告诉她,站在正义一边的是你,你又没有做错什么,实在没有理由感到害怕。其实比你更怕得要死的是那些不学无术的校方当局,怕盖不住自己的短处被人揭穿和被社会人士批评以致失业,所以才先发制人来为你洗脑,制造恐慌。

有几个她提出的论述都很值得参考研究不知是否反映出绝大部分本地大学生的保守心态。第一,有一位讲师告诉她:‘何必与强权对抗呢?明知你是斗不过它的。’‘那些好斗的都没有几个是有好下场的’。

-- 这种要你当奴隶的封建时代的言论实在要不得。但是学生应看看到这些讲师和校方所引用的例子是否恰当?事实上,自从1998年以来,遇《大专法令》对付的学生有多少个是最后成功的?除了比较遥远的ISA7的案例,近期几乎没有几单案件是校方敢为所欲为的。为什么?因为有公民社会的关注和鼎力支持与捍卫这些正义和勇敢的大学生。几乎没有学生是单独行动挑战大学机关的不合理处,背后都有一群相同理念的人支持。所以,当校方要对付大学生时必然投鼠忌器,一方面是理亏(从他们为自己辩护的理由常常站不住脚),另一方面是害怕社会(尤其是非政府组织)给于的监督压力,如果再被反对党带上国会就纸包不住火了,自暴其丑。

而如果不是这一群勇敢正义的大学生站起来抗议和对外揭露,如今本地的大学生的权益早已一一被剥夺至所剩无几,变成名副其实的读书机器人和罐头。我更可以说,学生早已需要付更高昂又不必要的杂费。最后吃亏的是谁?如果不知道事实还不用紧,知道了之后为何还要傻傻地忍受呢?那些对这群勇敢正义的学生冷言冷语,甚至反过来帮助校方打压他们的学生,真不知要如何形容他们如何辜负了全体的大专生。真是 ’Harapkan pagar, pagar makan padi’ 到底这群学生的下场有什么不好?几乎所有我认识的学生运动分子,没有一个是最终无法顺利毕业的,或者被停学过。问问我们鼎鼎大名的郑立慷大哥吧!或者也可拿赖康辉来做借镜。

第二,有人灌输大学生们,“自由和民主是西方国家的玩意儿,这里国情不同,所以西方的那套自由和民主是不适合我们的” 自由和民主是普世的价值观,何有东方和西方之分?对父母孝顺,难道就只是东方人才可以拥有或认同的价值观吗?我们马来西亚政府所说的那套自由和民主简直是笑话--他们可以说应以经济发展为先,然后再提出种种理论来扭曲对自由和民主的意义。而我说,就是因为缺乏自由和民主,所以贪污纵生,国家财库被淘空,经济发展其实变得更恶化。这就解释了目前大马的情况。我敢说本来大马的经济能力应可与南韩匹比,与台湾旗鼓相当的。再况且以前这些国家的经济发展还曾是排在大马下面的,他们为何能冒起的那么快,甚至超越了我们,远远地把我们抛在后头呢?就是我们缺乏透明度和监督制衡的能力这些都是自由和民主赐给人民的保障。如今能怪谁呢?

也许你会奇怪,为何我会如此地关心本地大学的课题? 我本来就是海外大学生,并应没有什么义务去帮忙或声援,也应该对我影响不大吧?!如果你认为我这么想就大错特错了。目前本地大学生的问题将带给国家社会长远的影响。影响的范围之广不容低估-- 本地大专生的素质下降,进而影响国家经济的竞争力。然后就是就业问题(外资不入,高科技的技术产品商不敢投资在本国,我到海外读到如此高深的学问有何用?),生活水平问题(工资更低了,万物物价又涨,生活更难过了)等等,如此切身的问题,如何能置之不理呢?说穿了,只不过想尽一份力量帮助你我塑造更美好的国家前景,对你我都有好处啊!如果有人会认同我的见解,为何不一起参与行动呢?要坐以待毙,还是守株待兔?

目前学生组织最棘手的问题,就是如何说服许许多多存着误解偏见和恐惧的大专生参与他们,或至少是站在他们那边支持他们的 尤其是新生们,让他们了解到,目前的问题是大家的问题,是时候付诸行动捍卫和争取学生本该拥有的权利,一起协助改善本地校园素质,将来毕业出来后才有价值,才能够英雄有用武之地。不然,将来的本地一级荣誉学士的文凭也只不过是废纸一张,无人会认真看待。最终它也不能对你的生活起着什么保障作用。

p/s: 给我所谓的那位朋友,请你不要生气,我只是觉得我们那天的谈论有很好的题材和教育作用,所以才把一些主要概念在这里写出来。不过,我没有讲衰你啦,也没有把你的大名爆出来,希望你不会介意。如果介意的话,email我,我再把它拆下来)

Scientist Life's shorter than normal

This is one thing i feel strongly against, after 5 days of working on the same 9 samples. Finally today i found the impedance, or the root cause of problem of not being able to get any positive result from PCR reaction. In the end, it's all down to the PCR primer pair problem, that denied my 4 whole days worthwhile effort trying to get something right -- it is really not my techniqical problem. For this PCR laboratory technique, i can say that i am as pro as anyone else now.
My supervisor told me the 'moral of this story' is, 'believe in yourself and be confident in your own judgement.. and never ever give up trying'. He said he always know the pair of primer he used to work on very often , is working. Previously, i used other people's primer pair (recommended by his research teammate), tried for 4 full days just to carry out that experiment. After all he told me this... u can almost hear the breaking sound of my blood vein... oh my gosh, why don't he let me use his own pair of primer then? is it so fun to test for others for 4 full days? i don't understand in this case... life is wasted.Evidently. : (

In case you wonder how can one experiment takes up one full day -- very simple... to prepare the cDNA for PCR amplification takes half an hour... next, for the PCR machine to do the job for me, takes me 3 hours plus plus... then i have to prepare agarose gel (waited for half an hour for it to form gel) then loading PCR product samples into the well takes me another 20 mins (as i tell you, i can work very fast liao), but running the gel takes me another hour waiting (well, whenever i have free time, i can spend sometime reading online news, even MSN messenger chatting or writing emails, or to poke people for fun in Friendster). After all these, then only i can collect my result, determines the rest of my day, either a success or a disappointment ( no 'failure' in my supervisor's dictionary).

Alright, today i deserve it. ( i don't have mood for another failure...nono...disappointment). Then since i am already applying to take a leave as schedule to travelling in Stockholm, Sweden for 4 days, my supervisor gave me a long list of PCR samples to do (of coz using his pair fo primer now...don't make me crazy), and another sample list of white blood cells extraction to do once i come back from holiday. It should takes me more than 1 week to finish the task. yes, i'm a cheap labour and yet so useful for my supervisor ...haha...

oh yea, he praised me on many occasions, make me feel overrated sometimes. hhmm.. there was one day he asked me whether i'll continue my studies until phD. I said i won't (at least for this moment). He asked back, 'why not?' he thinks i have the potential, and 'highly motivated' by working, should seriously thinking about the decision again. he went further saying that i was now doing even better than some of the Master students that he met. (overrated...i'm overrated~). He said that he only spent one week of demonstration and guidance and i already could work on my own, learnt very quickly. (okay , to be fair, 50% of things i have already done in my first 2 years of laboratory, although those session i was not that serious and careful, but it is really not so alien to me...that's why...)

Oh no, don't get me wrong, they are really a great bunch of nice people. I really enjoy getting along with them. i don't feel any offensive to my supervisor, he's a great guy also! Just want to let you guys know that... i'm also tough, and i guess you never see such a 'highly motivated' yet committed volunteer who is almost the first few who come into the office (usually 9.30am or earlier) , and almost the last few to leave (on somedays... not always), somemore willing to work overtime (sometimes worked until 7pm)... scare ler? haha... don't worry i'm not a workaholic,and not so 'highly motivated' as described, just that i'm always the man of responsibility. I will always try my best to complete the task in my hand in time.

That's about it... the first 3 weeks of my working experience. Although this is my first working experience, clearly proven that i can work... i'm not 'qian jin shao ye' as someone described me.
Enough said. haha...

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Is a 'B' too much to ask for?

Why am i always destined to get 'C' for everything since i come to university? I feel disappointed and depressed when i just received my final exam results a moment ago. This time i've got another 3 'C' for my 3 subjects. I had given my best and genuinely hoping to see at least a 'B' in any of the 3 subjects. I felt confident with what i had performed in the past exams after walking out of the exam hall. I thought i can show something this time... not Consistently 'C' , makes me feel like 'C' is for Constant... why oh why? of coz you may comfort me that i 'C'an do it better next time... so many next time i have given my try... and still C the same thing. I want a Change, i just want to C 'B'etter result like at least a 'B'... why is it so hard? i never come this close before... i am a 'B'oy, give me at least a 'B'... i won't give up trying...will give my 'B'est to obtain at least that result... c'mon!!! B is not that 'B'ad , at least better than a 'C'urse! i must 'B'reak this 'C'urse!!!!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

A truly Malaysian rock!!!

This morning i just browsed thru one of the interviews of Ben's Bitches:
http://www.think.com.my/print.cfm?art_id=109

Ben's Bitches is my elder bro's band. He plays as a bassist (named CK).
I'm quite anticipating their new album 'Mamak Conspiracy' to be released. It's a good news for them to be able to sell their album on the shelves of many major music record stores in M'sia, after signing to a local music record. They even have their debut album 'National Disservice' re-released, and this time you don't have to buy their albums only in their underground gigs.
I'm impressed with their experiment of music that touched many themes of Malaysian daily life, sing out the voices of many grassroot citizen. Indeed a truly local act. They are just unique, and a pioneer in this local music scene. Both lyrically and musically creativity should not be undermined.

Just wish them good luck in future and hope their songs can reach to more listeners. A good recommendation for you guys too. Hope you would give it a try and check out this band!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Statistics of my current life

- More than 4 out of five working days in the morning, on the way to catching bus, i will almost 'meet' (at least) a garbage truck, how wonderful is the beginning of the day!

- On working days, i wake up averagely at 7.15am. This levels the record 4 years ago when i am still studying in high school.

- also on working days, i am 'forced' to go to bed as early as 1am (yes, 1am is goddamn early for me still), due to many reasons... must have surprised many of my close friends who know me well.

- Cooking frequency during this period is, almost daily covering my lunch and dinner, also covering my roommate's dinner. Cook rice with frying pan is my special skill. haha. (becoz i don't have rice cooker right now)

- 2 weeks did not download any songs and movies at home (student hall). Frustrated me a lot as the college student network has increased the security so well, that can block or cut my main resource effectively- bittorent and limewire... i'm dead and bored like hell... leads me to buying my first ever and many more DVDs here in UK, watch many bizarre foreign movies.

- In the past 9 months, it must be more than 10 times that i was seeing the bus that i want to take passed by in front of my eyes. 2 times lead me to resolve to the resolution of paying taximan, and one time paying both taximan and National Express Coach cooperation.

- In the past 9 months, i consumed more than or about 250 tea bags. A genuine caffeine addict.

- In the past 9 months, i pressed my camera shutter more than 3000 times. Impressive huh? ;)

- Also in the past 9 months, i finished my 60 copies of cdr and finally resolve to using DVDR burning!!!

- ermm... what else? in 7 months, i have posted 62 blog updates?

A hot day

Yesterday, it was very hot in London. According to my supervisor, he said that that day is the record breaking temperature for about 100 years (it is the hottest day since year 1911) . The highest degree celcius of the day was 34. We just finished our PCR work, he suggested to go out for a lunch. He even mentioned about a chinese buffet restaurant in Shephard Bush, and asked my opinion. Oh my gosh, that is the most 'famous' and most frequently visited chinese buffet restaurant for Dave and Andy. I was there twice. So, i said , it's a nice restaurant. And then he asked another Italian phD student there, which is also my friend now, to join us. Yes, of coz, he showed his interest too. Then we sat in his new Honda car , and started our journey.
On the way to there, we discussed about the phenomenon of the current global weather. My supervisor is a skeptic about global warming. He argued, how can people can predict the future 100 years ahead? he said, it can never be accurate and so predictable as what they claimed is true. Well, he has such a strong view, plus he is my supervisor, haha... i give him face, and state my own views only. i don't argue back la, u know...i still think global warming is the indicator of how the global change which backed up by many scientific research. In my belief, it is true and now occuring.
My supervisor also suddenly popped up with this idea when he observed many people on the street took off their clothes and half-naked to cool down under the sun - he 'laughed' at those people that is not the way to obtain cooling effect. He backed his point with how those Middle east people dress up in hotter weather than this, up to 40 degree celcius. He said, if we notice careful enough, those people are wearing cloths from top to toe, to protect themselves from the direct sunlight and heat. He thinks that this is the way only will give people cooling effect 'coz clothes providing 'shade' for people. wow... how interesting thought is that! How impressive that i have this supervisor. I think i could learn to see things differently from this quite unique independant critical thinking supervisor = )

P/S: i must say that, that chinese restaurant food quality is only decent, but have vast variety of choices and cheap, though. But one bad thing is, i discovered that they are the first restaurant ever in UK do not provide 'tap-water' . haha... my favourite drink in UK :P

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Perangai yang semacam monyet dan memalukan institut pelajaran tertinggi di M’sia

Hari semalam barulah saya baca berita tentang satu lagi kes penindasan pelajar berlaku di Universiti Putra Malaysia, dari halaman web berita alternatif. Sampai hari inilah saya berpeluang menonton peristiwa ini yang berlaku pada kawan-kawan saya di universiti sana, dari halaman berikut. Saya amat terkejut pada awalnya, lalu mengesal dan kecewa terhadap pendirian pentadbiran universiti yang bias, menlindungi atau membiarkan pihak pelajar yang berperangai semacam monyet (atau apa-apa binatang liar yang lebih sesuai menggambarkan) bersikap biadap dan kasar dengan saudara-saudari mereka yang belajar di bawah atap yang sama. Sudah lama pihak pentadbir enggan mendengar suara pelajar yang mencintai universiti ini dan mahu mempertahankan hak-hak asasi mereka. Kadang-kala terdengar kes-kes penindasan pihak pentadbir yang bertindak secara senyap dalam operasi mereka untuk menaburkan perasaan takut di kalangan pelajar yang pro-aktif. Tetapi kali ini, pencabaran yang terbuka ini memang menakutkan… Wahai saudara-saudari sekalian, tengoklah sendiri tayangan ini melalui saluran ini: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbI7-gY9-RY

Mungkin ada orang yang berfikiran racist akan menyimpulkan kes ini merupakan penggeseran antara kaum dengan mudah, kerana apa yang terlihat membabitkan dua pihak yang berlainan warna kulit. Tidak. Kelompok pelajar yang membuat kacau adalah pelajar yang mewakili pihak pentadbir untuk ‘menjaga’ pelajar lain. Mungkin juga kamu akan berpendapat, apakah salahnya berpihak dengan pentadbir dan membantu mereka? Kesalahan mereka adalah bukan sahaja mengadaikan kebanyakan hak-hak pelajar dan kebebasan berkumpul, bersuara dan berfikir dengan kritik yang sepatutnya berwujud di menara gading, tetapi tidak mengambil inisiatif untuk menjaga kebajikan pelajar yang menuntut pelajaran yang berkualiti dengan yuran tambahan yang berpatutan. Arus penswastaan sejak universiti membuka pintu untuk kroni-kroni telah menambahkan beban atas bahu banyak keluarga yang berpendapatan rendah. Jadi, kenapa pelajar demikian masih membantu pihak pentadbir bertindak jahat secara terbuka di ruang selera di universiti? Apakah objektif mereka sampai tidak kisah dan sanggup merobohkan imej mereka dan universiti sendiri? Fikirlah rakan-rakan ku yang bijaksana… saya beri satu contoh: apakah nilainya samseng mengambil risiko hidup mereka keluar mengadu, kalau tak ada manfaat untuk mereka? Jadi, manfaat untuk pelajar-pelajar tersebut boleh dianggap dalam pelbagai bentuk: duit, kebendaan (eg. Bimbit telefon Nokia terbaru), faedah-faedah untuk menikmati ‘perkhidmatan’ luar biasa (seperti melancong ditajai oleh pihak pentadbir) dan lain-lain. Ini bukanlah fitnah, kerana saya pernah memperolehi ‘maklumat dalam’ semasa saya membantu kawan-kawan ku di universiti untuk melancarkan kempen plihanraya kampus pada dua tahun yang lalu.

Sekarang situasi sudah berubah. Pihak pejuang hak pelajar akan menghadapi cabaran yang lebih kuat daripada pihak pentadbir yang mahu terus menekankan dan ‘menyelesaikan’ kumpulan pelajar ini supaya pihak pentadbir ini boleh mengumpan faedah daripada parti politik pemimpin negara kita (tak usah saya tunjukkan parti yang mana) atas ‘jasa’ mereka. Juga mereka boleh mengongsi untung kroni-kroni swasta yang lumayan. Nampaknya kedua-dua pihak (pelajar memihak pentadbir dan pentadbir sendiri) pun gembira. Inilah sebab utama kerosotan kualiti pelajaran tertinggi negara kita – Fikiran feudal pihak pentadbir yang tidak mengambil berat tentang kualiti bidang akademik. Macam mana universiti negara ini boleh tersinar di antarabangsa? Bilakah mereka menjejak ke arah hadapan yang maju dan bukan terperangkap dalam tangan pihak yang suka memainkan politik yang kotor yang menyebabkan kejahilan dan kemunduran?

Masalah-masalah institut pelajaran tertinggi sekarang ini hanya boleh diatasi dengan lebih effektif jikalau AUKU (Akta Universiti dan Kolej-Universiti) boleh dimansuhkan. Tak ada jalan lain yang lebih memuaskan selain ini. Kalau saudara-saudari tidak mahu gambar-gambar tadi seperti apa yang ditonton berlaku di universiti dan tidak mahu status pelajar terjejas/ tergugat, sokonglah gerakan pelajar-pelajar berani ini untuk menuntut hak kamu. Inilah sesuatu yang amat berkaitan dengan masa depan kamu, saya yakin bahawa saudara-saudari tahu membuat pilihan yang bijak dan membuat apa-apa yang patut.


Mandarin news page links:

http://www.merdekareview.com/news.php?n=2130
http://www.merdekareview.com/news.php?n=2096


English news page link:

http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/54100

Sunday, July 16, 2006

1st week of working in the lab

It’s been a long time since I last update about my recent life. Okay, let’s start with after I’m coming back from the Europe trip. I moved back to last year’s student hall (Southwell) to stay for these 2 months while I am working. I am occupying the double-share room alone for 1 week for paying less than a single room. But, just this week, my roommate came. He is an Oxford student coming down to London to do his internship as well. He is British, and will be working for 2 full months too. Well, I guess I have to learn to adapt to living with others again. (last year’s experience with Jin Rong was wonderful). He is an early-sleeper, and you know I am the opposite. Sometimes he wants to sleep just after 11pm… very tough for me as I just gained momentum in doing work. He becomes ‘understanding’ later, by allowing me to switch on my desk light only while he’s sleeping. OK. Not so much of troubles. In fact, I have to change my sleeping habit too due to working. Everyday I have to wake up early at around 7.30am (record breaking early for non-studies time), work from 9 to 5 (sometimes could last until 7pm). When I am back to my room, I’m flatted. Tired. I formed a kitchen partnership with my roommate, where we cook for each other alternately. Save much of the troubles of eating the same food for 2 days or more, and save time. : )

I just started to work in the hospital for a week. So far, I have not done any lab work practically, but I was shown and demonstrated by my supervisor and several research teammates about the particular lab skills and technique I’m going to do in the coming weeks. Basically, I just jotted down all the details that they performed and explained. I was given a lab coat, a lab book and was given access to the building by providing me a swipe card (hehe, can get special rate of discount in the restaurant). Everything that I need can find there. I am allocated a computer and a seat too in the office. So far, I mix quite well with the people in office and in the lab. They are really friendly, kind and helpful. In the research team, we have people from Italy, Hungary, France, Brazil, and of course few British.

It’s really bloody to work in the lab in this department. Why? Hello, this department is called ‘Haematology’. We have to deal with lots of blood sample most of the time. My French supervisor told me honestly that I will be only given tasks like those steps of early stage of handling the sample (and usually not unique sample – it costs too much if I ever screw it up). What am I going to do most of the time is, separating the cells of crude raw blood sample into white blood cells layer and the rest (coz this department only is interested with white blood cells only)… I have to do some centrifugation, and with the help of some reagent, I could easily pipette out the cell layer that I am interested, into a new eppendorf tube (in various form), and later store it in -80 °C freezer (perhaps the next day someone will put them in liquid nitrogen, if they want). Next thing, i am also in charged to do PCR amplification and running electrophoresis gel … and all these things I found it boring and tedious. Actually after one week of exploring of lab life, it is not that interesting at all… many daily routine have to be done, and they are time-consuming. It is even worst if they are not satisfied with the outcome or the quality of the experiment, they need to redo… sien… Tell you this, each of the tasks takes more than 2 hours. It is no fun to redo things…

Ok, I do learn the seriousness of being a scientist at this level. Most of the time I’m having fun in my uni lab session, but this is not the case anymore in the research lab. Precision and caution are their main concern when performing experiment. No contamination is allowed, even no careless mistake of mis-pippette one well or mess up with others… nono…not especially at the last stage of experiment when someone relies on it to get the final result. (that’s why my supervisor doesn’t want me to handle those) I watched my supervisor doing Taqman PCR analysis. It is so easy …and sleepy. He took half an hour to set up all sample and reagent mix and standard dilution as well. And then pipette them one by one to 96 wells in that PCR plate. He discarded the pipette tip each time he pipetted, even when the same sample-mix solution is needed to put in two different holes. Ya, I observed also how careful are they sterile the fume hood and the equipment. When their pipette accidentally touched the neck of the reagent bottle, they will discard it as well straight away. Oh yes, of course the team can use few boxes of pipettes and tips each day. I must say that each scientific result that they obtained, is expensive. Cost of running the lab can never be underestimated. This is what they called investment in science and knowledge. If a government is reluctant to invest significant amount of money in research, this does not encourage the advancement in science, and the country will be lagging behind, far far away. It is not only about money, also about the culture and the determination for certain achievement.

I often heard about the research culture in M’sia local universities is seriously lacking. This is one of the essential parts of how to judge the quality of one university. We can’t hope too much on local university to become world class, if they don’t change their policy. How can they wasted so much money unproductively on targeting those anti-establishment students activities, instead of investing in ‘correct’ place for improving the academic standard? They must be kidding me. Again, returning the autonomy of the administration of university and the students, and stop political interference with the academic decision making, are something need to be done to push the agenda forward to become one of the academic excellent countries. I am afraid that next time I don’t have that much of money to send my children to study abroad too. It isn’t fair to us, the taxpayers too.

Invite friends to your ship. = )

Finally, you revealed your site on MSN messenger personal msg, and I’ve got the change to read your page officially. To be honest, it looks new and nice. It doesn’t matter to me whether it is a blog or not (it is up to how people define it - blog can be anything, or not everything must be blog), as long as you stay true to yourself. Say it like you mean it, and you don’t have to tell something that you don’t feel like to. You can have another side of you presented in the page, but all should be coherent to your thinking and feelings - the core of yourself. Certainly, I cannot judge a person simply from a webpage too. I would relate your words and you and the impression or the way I know you in real life (where I have really seldom chance in this). Understanding or really getting know a person takes a long time.

You just do the way you like to do in virtual world, and back in the real life please do continue to show your care for friends, and let your friends care about you too. Friendship is a relationship just because we care and love each other. That’s all. It is definitely not a burden, but something that flourishing your life and give meaning to. Be confident in yourself and ready to trust the people around you (esp friends). I think you are a real good friend to make. Jia you!~

Thanks for listing my blog in your page. Keep in touch!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

旅游感想:德国人对历史的尊重


(小图:从山上遥望下去的一个村庄)

我拜访Evelyn的地方,周围都是小镇和村庄。Jena算是个最接近的‘大’城镇,可是还不算是该省份最大的,也不是首府。

她问我想去什么样的地方参观。由于沿途到她的地方一路上都是绿葱葱的平原,或山丘和河流,我便毫不犹豫地回答说要看大自然美景。隔早她驱车载我到附近的最高点,那就是‘灯塔城堡’(Lichtenburg)。我被告知德国在还没被Bismarck宰相统一之前是四分五裂的战火纷飞,军阀群雄割据的土地。几乎每一片领土都至少拥有一座城堡,而且通常都是坐落在居高临下的战略性地点。这些城堡大部分仍保留至今(除了被世界大战波及到)。 现在,它们的用途被转换成地方性的博物馆,各地方大盛会的举行地点(包括圣诞节市场 X’mas Market)。Evelyn说 她在高中时几乎每年都会上来此表演舞台剧。从山上放眼遥望四方,这真是好地方。进入城堡的博物馆,那儿还设立了一个柜台征收象征性的入门费用。(哈,竟然 还有学生减价)大厅里摆设着一些旅游纪念品和书籍。看来还做得似模式样的,一点都不马虎。在博物馆里,我才见识了这座城堡的另外的用途是扣留犯的牢房,也是统治者的朝廷。当然也是军队的瞭望哨。可惜这个地方性的博物馆只有德文解说。图文并茂,有历史文件和文物详细地记载这地方的历史动态,直让我看到啧啧称奇。我相信如果有人愿意花上一整天的时间在此,必然可以充分地了解这地方的过去和现在。



(小图:大片的青草地和树林)

可能那天只是星期天,或者这本来就是小地方罢了不是什么瞩目的旅游景点,来此参观的游客只有小猫两三只。这一点都不减我对德国人认真对待历史的态度的尊敬。就让大家想象,在一个附近只有几个类似美罗(Bidor)或更小的村庄,竟然有个如此规模的博物馆,还不让我惊讶吗?然后,她又带我到附近的一个较大的‘小镇’- Kahla(闻名于出产陶器倾销于全世界)。在镇中心,我又看到了一间属于该镇的博物馆(Stadtmuzeum),可见该镇居民多么引以为豪啊!(这次我没进入)



(小图:城堡窗外的树木)

在过后几天的旅程中,每当我到一规模较大的城镇,该地区几乎必定拥有地方博物馆。在我返回伦敦的前一天,Evelyn的父母带我外出到毗邻省份的首府Dresden,著名的观光点之一。再一次,让我深深体会到德国人对于历史价值的尊敬。来到了Dresden, 感觉依旧古色古香。可是历史上记载,Dresden经历了第二次世界大战的洗炼,市中心的建筑物有90%遭 受到严重的摧毁。其中在我上载的图片中的市中心教堂(下图),是参考并依照二战前的建筑格式再重建。在东德政府倒台后,市民呼吁和市政府支持的重建工程,召集了很 多来自世界各地的土木工程专家来成立委员会来研究这工程,看要如何归还教堂的原貌。结果花上了十五年的心血,才在去年冲开。我要邀大家睁大眼睛来看这重建后的教堂有没有发现到教堂建筑的石砖颜色黑白参差呢?告诉你,我也很惊讶他们如何做到的,根据专家们的研究鉴定,那些黑色的石砖是该教堂仅存的原本的砖块,甚至还在该石砖本来的位置!很难相信吧!

该重建委员会不只计划重建教堂,而且还要为这旧市中心还原貌,包括周围的建筑物和街道规定所有的建筑物都必须依照一定的格式或风格建造。这是可以谅解的,倘若在那里建了一些摩登绚丽的建筑物,就会很唐突,与旧市风貌格格不入。


(图解:Dresden 的Frauenkirche 教堂)

这些德国人的想 法和对历史如此重视的精神实在让我钦佩。这是我在第二次造访德国的最大收获之一。这些尊重历史的精神,是日本人应该多多学习的地方,还有我国马来西亚政府 该学习的地方。当德国人重建战后摧毁的建筑物的同时,几乎完全没有被世界大战损坏的大马首都吉隆坡等等地方,竟然一一拆除历史建筑物,换上摩登的大衣,选 择遗忘历史,让路给经济发展。难道短期的经济效益就是一个最好的藉口牺牲永远都唤不回来的历史遗产?不知道如果这些事情让德国人知道的话会怎么想?大家想 一想吧!

p/s: 要谈均衡的城市规划发展,吉隆坡还是多多向伦敦和柏林学习吧!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

A real human being with dignity and emotions

I can’t believe my own eyes that I witness the very moment that Zidane, one of my most respectful soccer player, headbutting an Italian player in the final of World Cup match. This is more of a crazy idea to think of, that he was sent off in the last 10 mins extra time, when France needed him the most to overturn the result, and win back the lost trophy in year 1998. Any sane and rational human being in that case, cannot even think about that move could be justified anyhow, and would want to take the risk of the fate and the pride of the whole nation just to release grudge at someone who is purposely insulting you. Not to mention that, that is his last appearance in his soccer career, for his country and for himself.

But you are seriously wrong. -- You are not Zidane, how could you know how exactly he feels at that time? It is a lot easier said than done… definitely Zidane would feel regretted about that action he took after that match, but you must understand sometimes words are a lot harsher and more hurtful than the physical harm caused to mind and hit to your heart. The impact is explosive and almost immediately, that is not something you can control sometimes – totally untolerable. I guess that sinful Italian player must have said something as vicious as Nazi’s propaganda. ( The secret will be soon revealed in the coming days).

Zidane is not a robotic footballer. He is a great player in the world with human emotions. Only extraordinary person (超凡人) can withstand that degree of insult hit right to your heart and be able to hold their rational mind in any circumstances. Even superman can't be perfect in doing everything, especially comes to the matters of emotions and feelings. Why must the greatest footballer in the world be that kind of person next to the God that you expected? In the end, Zidane is still an ordinary person (平凡人) with some flaws in personalities, but with excellent football skills that still impressed me (and the rest of the world) until now. He has all my respect and sympathy. I feel sad and sorry for him at that night.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

我向往的家园环境

上个月,我在我德国朋友的家度过了愉快的四天假期。她住在偏离Jena市中心20公里的郊外村庄。我这个在城市长大的孩子,体验到了小地方的风光旖旎和村民的亲善纯朴。我好羡慕Evelyn拥有宽大的家园,与亲朋戚友毗邻同住。她家后面既是广大的草原和玉米稻田。沿着上去是山丘和野林。有道清澈干净的河流从她的家不远处流过。这些都是在她的日常生活里会经过的地方,也是她的两只狗儿的最爱之处。她说,她经常在傍晚带狗溜达,就会来到这些地方。有时就是坐在河边倾听川水潺流的声音和鸟儿昆虫共谱的大自然交响乐。或者,有时就穿越玉米稻田爬上山丘顶,习惯性地来到设立在那的一张长石凳,坐在那里观赏夕阳西下日落瞬息的美丽。从山顶遥望下去,可见眼前的山峦四起,夹在中间的是迷蒙的山谷。她的家就坐落在山脚下。那是多么美丽令人神往的居住环境啊





晚上,从我窗外可见布满天空的满天星。星星密布到难以一时区分得出星座的位置。那是我向往的美丽夜空啊!我多么想永远都能拥有这一刻。

不知有多少城市人会在乎这些所谓的景色,也许他们会认为霓虹灯饰照的夜景会更加美丽。或者坐在嘛嘛档盯着电视机会更加有趣。夜晚在户外活动,也许他们还会嫌蚊虫过多,一点都不浪漫。然后星星又看不懂,何不躲在家里观看DVD,不是更实际吗?

我想,也许我是来自城市的,鲜少有机会能接触到这些景色所以会格外珍惜。我是习惯了城市生活,也并没有不喜欢它。只是觉得少了一些organic,与大自然接触的感觉。也许我是没有完全被文明进化的人,认为我不应该把自己囚禁在钢骨水泥的城市森林那本来就不是原始的人类生活环境.




我主张人类应好好地与大自然相处,爱护她,并保护她。我们依赖它来生存下去,不应把它当作为人类社会(尤其是经济活动)服务的外在物。我热爱大自然,纯粹是我喜欢与大自然接触的感觉,及欣赏它的美丽,绝不出自于功利的考量。我希望我朋友的家园景色能永久地保留下去,希望下次我再拜访时仍还保有我原来喜欢的景色画面。

The whole result could be overturned in just 2 mins

Life is just like in the football match, 2 minutes could mean a different thing. Your efforts and determination could be totally in vain, if you could not last until the last 2 mins.

I feel sorry for Germany yesterday. I think they have put up a good fight, but Italy looked like a better side. They deserved to win. I could only left in disappointment in the end. Wish them good luck in the 3rd placing match, and wish them having a bright future with all the young and potential players.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Photos photos photos........一图胜千言

I have spent a whole day today to edit and upload all the photos from the last trip. Tonnes of them.
You can see my efforts here: http://cheehan85.multiply.com/photos
Those are all my selected photos, if i ever upload it all, you guys might be yawning at them. No caption yet. A picture worths a thousand words. Now i owe you like 200 thousand words... will pay back next time... enjoy the photos!!!

今天我几乎花了整天的时间整理,修改和上载了上个星期旅游的照片。我都把它们选择性地上载到这里:http://cheehan85.multiply.com/photos
若有时间,我会附加照片说明。现在就暂时将就将就吧!希望你们会喜欢。: ) 欢迎你们任何的评语,谢谢!

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Good guys need a break

我还没来得及交代我上周在德国和布拉格的旅游,但是这篇blog我非写下来不可。

刚观赏完Adam Sandler的最新电影- ‘Click’ (是的,我是他的影迷,几乎每部他的电影都曾看过) , 我的感触良多. 虽然这是一部科幻奇遇喜剧,但是却提供了我们很好的教材. 故事大略是述说男主角Michael是个工作狂,一心想要成就一番大业,在一间建筑设计公司慢慢往上攀升.他有个家庭-一位娇妻和孩子一男一女.他常常因忙碌于打拼工作事务,而一再忽略/推脱了家庭休闲计划或者消极地参与,把工作放在第一位.

有一天,因为常被家里混乱的遥控器而懊恼,走入了一间家具和电子商店欲购买综合遥控器.在一次偶然的情况, 他在店里的技术与研发部门遇到了一个人. 那人愿意协助他,给他一个最新研发的综合多用途的遥控器. Michael 发现了这遥控器的其中的奥妙后, 就可以用它来fast forward 他与妻子的口角, 生病或不舒服, 带狗溜达, 与家人的团聚的人生片断, 以便他可以在这些活动过后专心于他的工作.他也甚至用它来达到升职的目的, 或者回到过去寻找记忆的片断 (比如说与妻子的第一次接吻时餐厅播的歌曲). 当然也少不了爆笑的部分,用它来修理.

问题就来了,他的选择性fast forward的行为和习惯就记录于该遥控器里.这遥控器也依照使用者的习性推算未来, 最终不受控制地fast forward 下去. 在这个过程,他频密地让家人孩子失望,扼杀了家庭的欢乐. 他的生活只有工作,眼巴巴看着人生的欢乐片无可逆转断的错过。最后, 他登上了一个跨国公司的总执行员(CEO), 但他惊觉身边周遭的事物也改变了.妻子因忍受不了他对工作的狂热离他而去,另结新欢. 他的亲爱的父亲和狗都去世了. 他才知道他的生活点滴skip过了什么. 最让我感动和伤心的其中一幕是Michael回到去他父亲去世之前的最后一次见面的那天.当时,他以局外人的角色看到自己在办公室里如何冷漠地对待他生父亲自前来找他的最后团聚邀请. 可是他的视线不曾离开过电脑荧幕,淡淡地拒绝了邀请,也没有回应父亲临死前的告别. 局外的他后悔莫及,伤心透了,一直重复着父亲对他说的最后一次:'I love you, son'.我看了直叫我伤心难过.

另外一幕,也是最后一幕, 他的亲身孩子在他自己临死之前来探望病危的他. 他的新婚孩子甚至取消了原定的蜜月旅行,在医院守候着他几夜.他催促孩子们进行他们的计划.在孩子们既要离开时, 他知道生命快要结束了,就用最后的一点力气奔跑向在医院门口的孩子们和前妻. 最后,跌倒在雨湿满地的马路上, 所有人发现了都蜂拥过去.他说出了最后的叮咛: ‘Family comes first’ ,还有给他深爱的前妻一张纸条:’will you still love me in the next morning?’ (初吻那夜的话). ‘Forever and ever, Babe’ 这句话就结束了Michael的生命. 我的泪水就象下雨的那一幕落下,很久都没有这样被电影感动了. T_T

这部电影,不是单纯的一部没头没脑的喜剧. 我诚意地推荐给你。除了带给你欢乐,它也值得让我们省思人生的意义,劝告我们要珍惜人生的每个小片断,时时刻刻关爱家庭及与他们好好相处. 就如结尾时,Michael得到的一个message: ‘Good guys need a break’—即使多忙碌也好, 也不该给太多借口忽略了家人与朋友的感受. 我希望你会在人生当中做出正确的决定.