Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry X'mas greetings from me!



This photo was taken at KLCC. Hope your X'mas and new year celebration are as sweet as mine~

Please do check out my new entry of 'My Favourite 60 photos in year 2005/6' in Webshot album. Link

Do feel free to leave me comments! : )

And kindly accept that as the xmas and new year's gift to all of you!

MERRY X'MAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


Best Wishes,
Han.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

My friend's article on Malaysiakini

I hope she won't mind i post her article on my blog too. I agree totally on what she said in her writings.


我是学记,我只想坚持当初的使命
廖秋怡
06年12月14日 下午2:45




“我们要我们要,抓紧那一把火炬,燃烧熊熊的火
我们要我们要,抓紧那一把火炬,唱出火般的歌……”

那青葱岁月,在茫茫人海中,我们因星洲而相遇。
那青涩时代,在懵懂无知中,我们因学记而成长。

记忆中的少年,我们被喻为社会的眼睛。

记忆中的少年,我们单纯的坚持相信暗涌创思,一支独秀。

记忆中的少年,我们单纯的坚持相信明察思辩,飘洒慧墨。

记忆中的少年,我们单纯的坚持要有社会醒觉,不畏强权:

-日本脑炎爆发,我们到灾区实地考察;

-白小被迫关闭,我们到原校了解状况;

-我们搞人权营,却因某些因素而被夭折。

记忆中的少年,我们单纯的坚持新闻人是社会的良心。

记忆中的少年,我们单纯的坚持报纸不会说谎,我们要相信它正义至上。

记忆中的少年,我们单纯的坚持学记和其他青少年组织是不一样的:

-我们不纯粹只是爱华文

-我们不纯粹只是爱创作

-我们不纯粹只是爱搞活动

-我们不纯粹只是爱交朋友

-我们不纯粹只是爱唱歌跳舞

-我们不纯粹只是爱游山玩水而加入学记队。

我们比其他青少年组织:多了一份理想、多了一份使命感、多了一份社会责任、多了一份社会醒觉、多了一份社会良知、多了一份人文关怀;

只因记忆中的少年,单纯的我们只有那颗赤子之心,坚持相信只要我们坚持到底,世界会变得更美好。

今天,我们迷失了。

有人说,报纸的新闻都是假的,别相信。

有人说,报纸被政党操纵,新闻人不再独立。

有人说,收购并非垄断,纯粹只是商业交易,报纸还是会百花齐放。

有人说,统合中文媒体,在全球化之际可以抗衡西方媒体。

有人说,统合只因想延续中华文化的渊远流长。

却也有人,只想清晰地表达自己对事件的看法,专栏被悄悄关闭。

也有人,公然反对一些社会议题,从此名字照片在报纸上消声匿迹。

也有人,说了会引起公愤的话语,巧妙的被报纸美化。

也有人,因为害怕引起政府不悦,而从此不据实报导新闻。

也有人,因为利益关系,利用大众的信任,悄悄背叛后知后觉的人民。

众说纭纭,我,该相信谁?

我相信我当初的使命、我坚持不畏强权、我坚持做功利社会的良心、我坚持做功利社会的一股清流、我坚持说真话、我坚持言论新闻资讯自由、我相信公道自在人心。

我尊重异见、我坚持民主、我坚持正义。

我,是被利用吗?

我,错了吗?

大约在马来西亚的冬季假期

是的,我又沉寂了好一阵子。说我的生活变得忙碌了?或多或少。但是,说我忙得喘不过气,没办法拨出时间写Blog,又不是如此。我不想让忙碌成为我的藉口。我想,是心态的转变吧!我的一些好朋友都说我变了,对于这个说法我也不懂得如何回答。也许是吧。

关于为什么我会作出决定短期内回国,不少人都会问我。身边较相熟的朋友会比较清楚如果摒除其中一个最主要的因素, 我现在就几乎不会出现在这里(大马)了。这个我得承认。之前我并没有作如此地安排的,只是我后悔了。然后我与自己在内心里斗了起来,来了一个有史以来最激烈的自我辩论。正方(不该回的立场)和反方(该回的立场)两方都持有一定的理由。最后我还是判反方胜利,虽然可能看起来不完全是理智的决定。

不该回的理由不外是:浪费金钱,已买了年票,才刚回国了不久。或许打从心底我早已站在反方的立场了,所以我极力为自己辩护:留在英国的基本消费(交通和膳食)也不会便宜,更有可能会到滑雪旅行去,所有的消费折合起来也许已够我换取一张机票了。再加上我另添购机票有助于添加马航积分分数,可至少换取免费的单程机票到伦敦。至于年票呢,没办法,浪费实在可惜,总便宜过在伦敦另外购买价钱更高昂的机票。对,我两个月前才离开,可是我的暑假只有一个月的时间在大马。我嫌不够。再说,我不曾在任何暑假以外的假期回家,况且这次我可以提早结束我的学期,腾出足足一个月有余的时间陪伴家人,朋友,和女友。

对,是女友。那是一段才在上个暑假开始的恋情。这正是回国的考量的很重要的一点。我不确定我的新恋情未来在长期的距离与时差的因素之下是否经得起考验,但是我很确定若这次不选择回国继续打好感情的基础,将来的挑战会更大!这不是信任的问题,而是机会的问题--因为我预见以后我与她聚少离多的情况会出现。若我选择继续在英国修完我的硕士或博士而她在其他国家的大学深造,这种情况也许会持续两三年,甚至4年以上天晓得。难得碰到我们俩正逢学校假期,应该珍惜相处的机会。如果说这可能会是我一生幸福的转折点,那么多少金钱也不可能将它换回来。此时,金钱已不再是衡量的标准了。我能够做的就是把握现在,为未来铺路。别让未来有了遗憾!对此决定,我从来没有后悔过!

还有,我弟弟下个月也要去美国留学了。我也希望能抽多一些时间与他在一起。也许将来的他会在美国定居(他曾表示过有此想法),或者届时他又会是另一个人,我不知道。接下来,比较担心的是我妈。我的弟弟走了之后,家里只剩我的大哥而已,更寂静了。平时我的大哥白天打工,晚上陪女友,不知有多少时间会陪妈。所以,我要趁这个假期用珍贵的时间尽量陪伴她。上个假期我与她去关丹(kuantan),这次与她找到共同的兴趣去柬埔寨吴哥窟旅行。

当然,操心的还有我的课业。我清楚知道我已落后蛮遥远了,温习功课是这次假期的重要目标之一。与此同时,手头上有两份报告要完成(目前只剩一个)。学业负担和责任可说是还不轻。我必须要在今年获取至少二级上等学位才可继续升学。想到这里更加害怕和恐惧。

以上的一切都是我这次假期的计划和想法。其实我尽量克制自己少出门,以便把更多的时间留给自己,和我亲爱的家人与佳人。对于我的好朋友们,请谅解我的苦衷,希望你们不要太在意如果我无法每次都出席聚会或嘛嘛档聊天的机会。

Monday, November 20, 2006

我曾经沉默,但不是站在你的大多数!--我的反媒体垄断宣言与学记心声

身为雪隆区第15届学生记者,对于孕育我学记生涯的星洲日报‘间接’收购南洋商报(更为准确地说,星洲日报社长收购南洋)的事件,我应该公开表达我的立场和心声,以免被指责为‘沉默的大多数’。在这里我想论证的是,即使我曾是他们(星洲日报的笔杆打手)所谓‘沉默’的一群学记,却不曾是支持收购和垄断立场的一派。所以要论证是否是‘大多数’,还得作全学记调查投票方能知结果。我不会去如此做,除非投票结果可以肯定促使张晓卿先生改变主意脱售南洋。要不,星洲日报可以号召开学记特大,显示他们的诚意最终会以数据来论证,否则可别把特大号的帽子扣在我的头上。

回首当年马华公会收购南洋商报事件,星洲日报曾大力反驳无数的指责,说社长没有参与收购。当时正当我刚加入学生记者这个家庭,虽然我不很清楚整个事件的来龙去脉和内幕,但是我选择相信了它(星洲)。每逢别人攻击它,我都会为它袒护,认为既然它的原则是‘正义至上’,它在公开声明里说的每句都是千真万确的。明人不做暗事,外人的指责一定是诬赖,可能就如星洲日报的某些职员所说--有背后的议程,或妒嫉它的成就。

打从我参加学记培训营开始,我就以报馆里资深的记者为学习榜样,也相当尊敬从事这一行业的人。所谓的‘无冕皇帝’,就是应该有理想冲劲,追求正义自由原则,发挥崇高的媒体精神。这些都是我很想学习的,并向他们看齐的。首先,在还未正式被录取为学生记者,我必需认真,小心翼翼地写一篇议论文和一篇申请书(《为何要加入学记》)呈交上去。精神紧张地等待回函邀请我去面试,然后带着战战兢兢的心情通过了这一关后的我才被正式录取(当时学记队伍严格控制人数,每校只允许最多派出4位)。这还不是最后一关。要获取学记证书,还得交出一定的成绩。从这点来看当时学记队伍的素质,给我的感觉是,星洲日报是非常用心和有诚意地栽培学生记者和严正看待学记队伍,并给于每周一个全版位的空间让学记极力发挥。另外,《学海》和文教组的职员都看起来很有文化修养,专业和勤奋,留下我深刻的印象。当时我更是一度认为文教组主任曾毓林先生是因为工作太忙碌和他的奉献精神,而仍是单身汉。

那段担任学记的期间,我常翻开星洲日报阅读,留意并比较刚被马华收购的南洋商报,首先发觉南洋商报确实改变了很多(俨如党报),接下来感觉到星洲日报的言论版在写作人罢写后也开始逊色了很多(后来才懂得其真正的原因这些都不是在星洲日报可以读到的)。很多评论总是感觉上四平八稳,搔不到痒处,似乎不如以前我阅读时精彩。也有朋友总是质疑星洲日报报导的公正性,我就以它也有报导反对党的新闻来为它袒护(虽然知道反对党报导幅度的大小)。我也尝试去体谅星洲日报在《印刷法令》下的限制和曾被关闭过的苦衷。曾毓林先生更有教导我们要如何懂得寻找报导中隐藏的意思(underlying message/ isi tersirat),还有如何读‘中间线’( read between the lines)。虽然我认为这是有些偏离记者确实和准确报导的原理,我还是不明白--明明摆在面前就是事实,为何要那么含蓄? 他回答说:‘作记者要识时务’,‘作记者就好像要越过地雷池,要步步为营,哪怕一个不小心踩中了就会粉身碎骨,完蛋了!’,‘留得青山在,不怕没柴烧’。原来这些日子以来至今,这全都是他的理念。眼看着他几乎还在地雷池面前原地踏步,我对他的期望已幻灭了。

后来得知报章上有越来越多的‘敏感’课题被禁止报道,包括猪农事件和白小事件。当时我尊敬的学记负责人谭贞洁小姐秉持着记者要懂得社会关怀,要探索社会课题的真相,毅然带领我们这一班学记新人朝向着这个理想方向。她说,没有任何的课题本质是‘敏感’的。它只所以会敏感,是因为人民被禁止谈论而存有偏见或无知。她一直努力地灌输崇高的记者精神和理想给学记队伍。这些都给我很大的启发,也是我深深认同的。在她担任该职位期间,作了很多具有争议性的决定,比如说她主动带领了我们去拜访坐落在武吉不兰律的猪农,并与他们深入交流。之前她更有邀请学者来向我们讲解这课题的来龙去脉。除此之外,她也带领我们进入白小原校,去了解保校社区运动的斗争。针对这两个活动,我也写了报告稿件。尤其是有关白小事件的报导刊登在雪隆区的《大都会》,年纪不及18岁的我初次感受到被删稿的不悦。我相信我的负责人对于打造社会关怀的学记队的理想一定也曾承受来自上层很大的压力。终于在筹备1个月的全国中学生人权营的努力和坚持被告吹后,我尊敬的负责人忍辱负重,为了更高更远的理想和信念,下定决心辞职出国深造去了。就这样,星洲日报失去了一位具有正义使命感和抱负的记者,证明在报变事件前后都不乏优秀的记者和职员。分别在于,这些人才是否愿意为星洲日报高层的利益卖命或付出代价。

从这些种种事件的演变,让我更进一步看清楚一些事实--星洲日报的真面目和其秉持理念的伪善。随后,当我开始阅读电子报《当今大马》和《独立新闻在线》,进一步证实我对星洲日报的看法。掩盖新闻,无情打压封锁一些时评家和学者,扭曲事实真相,以匿名或假借读者身份的方式来谩骂批评者(而且几乎都不点名或写出处)等等,哪个是有大报风范?又有哪个符合‘正义之上,情在人间’的原则?讽刺的是,如今到底星洲日报要设下什么典范给未来和在藉的学生记者学习?难道要年轻的一辈也向他们学习资深报人的堕落?难怪近来的雪隆区的学记素质每况愈下,甚至没有了以往的筛选制度,大量收录学记滥竽充数。试问新学记到底有从其负责人学习到任何媒体精神和社会关怀理想吗?我想大概没有,反而我愿意相信有不少的新学记是抱着交友和联谊的心态进来,其中也可能有少数是来吃喝玩乐的(因为现任负责人钟进贺也许会给人错误的印象)。大家可以检验近年来学记队伍举办了什么样活动,写出了什么素质的稿件,窥探而知。如果学记队伍是给人进来觉得好玩的话,就要想一想当初成立这支队伍的宗旨了。我想,学记队伍的资源既然是来自星洲日报,而星洲日报的资源是来自华社(广大读者)一路来的大力支持,学记应该懂得‘取之社会,用之社会’这道理。以学记的身份去接触社会,更可以充分体现‘情在人间’的价值。

星洲日报可以一再否认垄断,可以‘嫁祸’给他们的社长张晓卿先生,还是无法洗脱同一个家庭利益的关系。但是,星洲日报的资深报人和一众文人墨客一再为他们的主人卖命,涂脂抹粉,歌颂起舞,粉刷太平,也无法掩饰他们的虚伪伪善的一面。他们的老板能仗着垄断市场90%之力压制或控制兴论,他们也居功不少。无论现在他们如何辩称,也无法自圆其说地解释在2001年他们替老板发表‘没有参与收购’的公然谎言。这就是‘正义至上’了。如果他们没有悔改,继续沉沦堕落,希望真正正义的一天会到来判决他们,把他们写入历史,成为媒体系的必修反面教材。

我相信很多星洲日报的记者职员都不是自愿如此依附于堕落的一群,但是奈何于资本主义的现实和饭碗的问题,忍辱负重继续担杠他们的角色,暂时压抑着他们的崇高理想和信念。虽然如此,我认为浪子回头还是岸,我仍期待那些所谓堕落的资深报人可以觉醒,以老板强大的媒体集团的垄断优势之下,极力争取新闻自由,而不是助纣为虐反过来打压新闻自由和同行。这样一来,他们还可以将功赎罪,不必担当千古罪人。

我本身绝对相信改变是要通过改革制度,而不是寄托在于人治。以现在的格局,在张晓卿媒体集团底下的报业人士,若可以团结一致,显示自己的专业精神和诚意,必然可以协助改善制度,将来同业们,华社和广大的人民就有更美好的日子过了。他们也应被记一功!那时媒体系的教材就会改写道:星洲日报媒体报业人士,扮演了‘卧底’的角色,背负千夫所指的耻辱,卧薪尝胆,最后成功策略性地为马来西亚的新闻自由开阔了天空,征服了专横独裁政治压力的蓝海!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Pak Lah, I am ashamed of you!

I just read a news article about a press conference you held after UMNO supreme council meeting. I am deeply shocked to know that you, as Prime Minister of my country, made those statements when questioned by reporters:

But Datuk Seri, are you prepared to declare the property and the assets of your family to prove...

Pak Lah: "Itu adalah hak ahli keluarga saya untuk……tentang harta mereka, tak payah saya umumkan. Tidak ada kesalahan daripada pihak mereka ...yang memerlukan mereka mengisytiharkan harta mereka."

[That is the right of my family, on (the privacy of) their property. There is no need for me to declare. There is been no transgression on their part that would require them to declare their assets. ]

But doesn’t this counter the transparency that you have made...

Pak Lah: "Itu bukan isu ketelusanitu hak orang."

[This is not a question of transparency. This is a matter of people’s rights. ]

News resource from Malaysiakini
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's such a disgrace to have a hypocritical politician like you. It seems like those words come from your mouth means nothing -- those pledges about transparency, anti-corruption , and etc. You don't hold on your principles, but acting in the opposite way. You disappointed many many Malaysian, show the worst example of all to become a noble politician. How could a politician, especially the leader of the so-called 'democratic' nation refuses to declare his properties to public? This is the least that i could expect you to do. Why not do it? This is the best way i could think of, to retalise the accuse of Dr. Mahathir to link you directly to nepotism.Unless you are just like what Mahathir said: 'Takut kerana Benar' (Afraid of the truth). Insya Allah/ Oh my God, in what position you could talk about people's rights!? Your family has rights, but other people's family doesn't? You violate enough human rights!!! Faster release all the political detainees in Kamunting under detention of Internal Security Act. Don't speak something in double standard - this only show how hypocrite you are. Where is the creditibility of you as the leader of our nation?

I already have no hope for this hopeless government. This case just add another scenario of how the politics in Malaysia is out of control, and the nation is wandering directionless under this current prime minister and co.


Wednesday, November 01, 2006

冷笑话

我总是不明白不少朋友都认为我的笑话有时实在有点‘冷’。

今天下午,我碰到了‘高手’,就与她过招过招。最后还是不忍,不得不拿出来与大家一起来分享。

这是摘自我与一位朋友的一小段MSN谈话。

Anonymous: 以我和你的交情还不至于告诉你 ()

-han- : wah.... 很串咧!还串过沙爹串!

Anonymous: 我就是沙茶酱, 台湾出名的沙茶酱其实就是大马的沙爹酱, = teh = .

-han- : 好,让我用沙爹串来骚扰你,然后把你的血浆吃光 (today is Halloween night)

Anonymous: 英国没有沙爹,是吗? aiya你没去讨糖果?我蛮喜欢这节日哦!

-han-: UK has sand () and fathers ()

Anonymous: 杀爹是很残忍的食物, 和煲子饭一样

-han- : haha, geng!!!

Anonymous: 哈我在讲冷笑话. 你没乘机捣蛋?去骚扰无辜

-han- : 没有,母鸡今天没生蛋

Anonymous: 你养鸡吗?

-han- : 没有,至少没有被鸡养

Anonymous: 玩串啦! 您不够班哦!

-han- : 不够班,不是去开班啰!不然让你开校当校长.

Anonymous: 过奖啦!

---------------------------------------------------------

星期天下午,那天是Andy(我前屋友)的生日。我们在Canary Wharf的Royal China吃点心。当Andy的一群朋友谈起A-level时有一位怪异的朋友,常讲一些耐人寻味的话--到现在还‘流传’在他们的圈子里,津津乐道。(我想,他的手应该比高手还高)

举例说他‘发明’的形容词:

像‘失去自尊的修女’,‘失去方向的指南针’,‘忘了时间的钟’

另一个‘经典’--有点肉麻搞笑:

‘眼泪,可以洗净我脸上的污垢,却洗不去我心上的伤痕’

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Und Wenn Ein Lied...

A very good German song to recommend to all of you, even if you don't have any knowledge about German language. I found it at last year summer when i was travelling in Germany. For almost a year now, i still find myself like this song very much. I feel good and relaxing when listening at late night. Probably you never thought german song could sound so tender and sensitive like this.

Download it here

Söhne Mannheims - "Und Wenn Ein Lied..."
Album: "Noiz" (2004)

Und wenn ein Lied meine Lippen verlässt,
dann nur damit Du Liebe empfängst,
durch die Nacht und das dichteste Geäst,
damit du keine Ängste mehr kennst.

Sag ein kleines Stückchen Wahrheit,
sieh wie die Wüste lebt,
schaff ein kleines bisschen Klarheit,
und schau wie sich der Schleier hebt.
Eine Wüste aus Beton und Asphalt,
doch sie lebt und öffnet einen Spalt,
der Dir Neues zeigt, zeigt,
dass Altes weicht,
auch wenn dein Schmerz
bis an den Himmel reicht.

Dieses Lied ist nur für Dich,
schön wenn es Dir gefällt,
denn es kam so über mich,
wie die Nacht über die Welt.
Schlag Gefahr aus der Dunkelheit,
bin ich zum ersten Schlag bereit.
Ich bin der Erste, der dich befreit,
und einer der Letzten, der um Dich weint.

In unser Sanduhr fällt der letzte Korn,
ich habe gewonnen und hab ebenso verloren,

jedoch missen möchte ich nichts,
alles bleibt unter gedanklicher Besitz,

und eine bleibende Erinnerung,
zwischen Tag und Nacht
legt sich die Dämmerung.

Damit du keine Ängste mehr kennst,
damit du keine Ängste mehr kennst!

Monday, October 23, 2006

我的Blog复活了!

都已经一个星期有了internet, 我不应该再有借口不写部落格。我似乎有点失去了写blog的感觉,每当想要写起时,有点力不从心。好吧,既然很久没看到我的消息在此,就先说说自己的近况。

说起来,上一个学年和再前一年都不曾感觉到原来7000里之外的距离是那么遥远的,还有时差是那么大的。只有当在思念强烈发酵时才能体会到的。终于我领会了。

今年的课程可算是三年里最忙的,我也尝试减少额外的干扰。也是我最关键的一年,只许成功不许失败。最恐怖的那个星期就在Easter假期后的那个星期--残酷地定夺了我在这三年的所有努力,到底我可否顺利毕业,或我可拿到什么等级的成绩。


我已决定不再参加任何舞蹈比赛了。第一,我可以至少在每个星期腾出6个小时空余时间。第二,我可以减少不必要的比赛压力(来自老师,舞伴,和学会的)和其牵连的烦恼(包括人际关系方面的磨擦和勾心斗角)。第三,当然可以省钱!

但是今年的我却吃回头草,下定决心重新学习和掌握拉丁舞。我只在第一学年的第一个学期短暂地跳过,后来因为要专心在ballroom舞而放弃了。我觉得非常可惜,还有点遗憾。拉丁舞应该在趁还年轻时好好地练。

那天我再回去初级班,发觉它还真的很好玩,很享受那种开心跳舞的感觉,没有比赛和考试的束缚。

对了,上个学期的舞蹈考试成绩出炉了。我在Bronze级(初级)Ballroom拿到了Honours,和在Silver级(中级)获得了Commended 成绩还属不错。: )


其 他的学会方面,我也重新加入摄影学会和辩论学会。说来自己都觉得惭愧,那天回到辩论的训练,发觉到自己的英语演说水平竟然还是那么不理想。虽然大部分时间 仍还是脱稿的(辩论时都应该如此),但是明显地发现自己的英语词汇那么地贫瘠,也无法顺利把我所有的想法串连成漂亮,正确达意的句子。实在有点失落。原本 希望今年可以至少拥有可以报名出赛的水准,事实却与我原本期望的差之千里。后悔在上个学年没有好好接受训练,和多多练习。

应朋友之约终于加入了羽毛球俱乐部。我本身蛮喜欢羽球的,但是不知到底会真正去打几次球,或者还会有心情打球。平常日子,每当下课放学,整个人就像泄了气的气球--软绵绵的,没力气或心机做运动了。目前,甚至去健身房的次数都少了。对此,我也‘责备’和检讨过自己,但是我房里的那张床太吸引人了,睡眠在叫唤我,无可奈何。(午觉对我来说是蛮珍贵的,也非常享受它)希望接下来可以改善自己。

不 久后我的电话号码又要更换了。似乎这是‘年度’的事情。今年,在于电话合约方面的‘谈判’和‘讨价还价’的能力有明显的进步,不过却花了很多的心力去作 ‘市场调查’。最后虽然得到最优惠的合约和电话,省下的钱未必多,还做过了一些麻烦的事情(包括去邮政局退还不想要的电话)。这里想说的是,往往你付出的努力未必与得到理想的收效成正比。这个世界总是免不了一些麻烦。

好了,答应过大家给你们看的伦敦中秋十五的月亮照片就在此:



Sunday, October 08, 2006

I still do not have internet connection!!!

Anyway, wish you all Happy belated Mid-Autumn Festival. I know those who are in M'sia may not able to see the full moon, due to haze problem. But i can... hehe... In fact, I even took the photos of the Foreign land (wai guo)'s Yue Liang... I sneaked in the Royal Hyde Park once again at (early night - when the moon just rises from the horizontal level ), and indulge with the shiny moon and the reflection on the lake. I will post the photos up here once i have connection.

^ ^

Saturday, October 07, 2006

为何自愿边缘化自己?

相信几乎所有人都对李光耀先生的‘华族被系统性边缘化’之言论都有所听闻吧!到底真正情况是如何,不用问长期观察大马政治/社会发展的学者,随便问菜市场买/卖菜的阿嫂或茶餐室里喝茶饮Kopi的阿伯都能发表一些对于他们被政府如何不公平对待的经验和发表对于他们观察到的现象的看法。

虽然我个人并没有对李先生有什么好感(尤其是在他治国时的人权课题和他如何对待华教/南大的过去做法),但是他的言论是不容置疑的铁一般事实!肯定有很多数据支持他的看法。边缘化的源头或该历史的分水岭就在于70年代初实施的新经济政策。都已经过了35年了,这个国家还不思长进,深深陷入种族肤色之分的泥沼。说起边缘化,何止华族?整个国家都被世界边缘化!贫穷落后的,岂有肤色之分?君不见仍有不少马来族同胞从独立至今仍无法摆脱贫穷的问题,他们到底从新经济政策得益了多少?在这个功利社会里,金钱往往与权力挂钩。结果是,弱势的群体,不分肤色的,被边缘化。

在马来西亚,政经文教和种种大大小小的课题,全都源自于政治因素。无可否认的,华族在各方面的权益江河日下日渐衰退,也源自于如今的种族政治现实下的情况下的华裔执政党的政治力量/影响力被边缘化,至一个不再相关(irrelevant)的地步。到底为什么是这样,是否纯粹是因为人口比率逐渐下降的问题,还是华族对于本地政治的态度,抑或是其他因素,我本身没有什么研究。我的看法是,华族本身对于捍卫自己的权益方面和对于本地政治发展的关心态度欠主动,不够热忱,甚至有些置身度外于这些重要课题。换句话说,很多时候,华族是自愿放弃争取政治权利,自愿被边缘化。埋首在自己的生意/商业/经济活动,然后再自我设限画圈自己的地盘,以为失去了政治说话权,保存了经济力量可以继续安乐生活。然后忍气吞声,服从不公平的游戏规则,前门走不得走后门,是唯一的出路。心里如此想,又不曾有任何欲作出改变的消极想法,无疑是短视。我不说‘堕落’,都有点客气了。难道你们这些懂读华文字的大马子民愿意这样世世代代生活下去吗?这样行吗?

比较老一辈的,对于国家政治前景感到消极灰暗,也许我可以比较体谅。但是,为何大部分的身边朋友们都对国家政治前景感到消极--说什么‘是这样的啦,是不可能会改变的’,‘我能够做什么?’,‘做了又有什么用?’—身为国家未来的主人翁,被国家社会寄以厚望有抱负可以带来未来改变的一群人,怎么年轻气盛的他们会说出这类泄气话?到底这些都是因为被扭曲教育系统内容所制造出来‘去政治化’的新时代年轻人,还是因为本地华人本身就是趋向对于政治不过问逆来顺受的保守心态?--据我的认知,在同一个教育体制底下,马来族会较显得对政治关心,甚至积极参与和认为这些都是他们的使命。政治思想进步的马来人,我还遇见过不少。

我国在长时间种族政治的统治下确实荼毒了不少人的思想,让绝大部分的人民动不动就陷入种族主义思考的框框,以肤色来区分人的待遇,接下来就喜欢发表类似的笼统性言论‘都是那些马来人..’,‘你看我们华人XXX,那些马来人却XXX’。我明白,很多情况都会出现种族情绪,因为问题来源来自不公平的种族政策。但是这种说法在很多时候显得不客观,错怪了该族群大部分善良无辜的他们。第一,作出决策的不是他们,而是一小撮的执政精英和政客。第二,受益人也不是绝大部分的他们,而是同一群人。其实既然大家都是种族主义政治的受害者,为何不能抛开成见,大家一起努力创造更美好的未来?不能,因为没有时时关心和了解本地政治发展和运作,没有政治醒觉的人是不会自我发现这些问题的,然后照样被种族主义政治玩弄。没有真正关心和了解本地政治,又怎么知道现实情况是可以改变的,很多事情其实你我都可以做,然后这个国家是可以有希望和出路的?当我尝试要想向我的朋友们说明,鼓励他们关心国家社会时事,尤其是政治,往往都会碰钉子。可是他们的反应却让我感到焦虑,让我有时不知是好,因为关于政治的话他们又不想听。到底几时他们才能明白政治在我们生活的重要性?

不要再问:‘我爱这个国家,这个国家爱我吗?’这个国家肯定爱你,也等待你来帮助她!不爱你,又欺骗你的是现在的执政党,不是这个国家。这个国家是属于马来西亚人的,不是马来人的!所以,我奉劝我的朋友们,不要再边缘化自己了!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

再见,珍重!

轻轻的我将离开你
请将眼角的泪拭去
漫漫长夜里未来日子里
亲爱的你别为我哭泣
前方的路虽然太凄迷
请在笑容里为我祝福
虽然迎着风虽然下着雨
我在风雨之中念着你
没有你的日子里
我会更加珍惜自己
没有我的岁月里
你要保重你自己

你问我何时归故里
我也轻声地问自己
不是在此时不知在何时
我想大约会是在冬季

* 亲爱的,我确定无法在冬季假期回来了,对不起我让你失望(我也是)。好好照顾自己哦!祝你考试顺利!

Saturday, September 23, 2006

常在我心


写于9月22日,在双威大学院校中华文化学会举办的《中秋晚会》。^^

Monday, September 18, 2006

(还是)无题

我常认为,在人生的过程中,人都会在特定的时候面对‘改变’/‘转换’的决定。改变似乎是一种定律,至于结果的好坏往往只有在事情过了以后才可以定论(或许也未必)。我对于人生的改变抱着积极正面的态度,确保我的改变可以为我未来的生活过得更好。但是不少人都乐于安于现状,喜欢安身在舒适地带,而拒绝/抗拒改变。我承认我偶尔还是会有这种自然的倾向。若非要痛定思痛,重新思考未来的方向,我也可能看不到如今境况的种种问题。安于现状的心态有时候就是蒙蔽自己,或麻醉自己,而错过了改变的时机。也许就错过了人生的一幕幕的过程,造就了遗憾。

近来,我觉得自己已站在人生的转换的阶段。除了因为明年是我的大学本科生最后一年,也许很快就要投入于社会。还有,身边有了个人,我就不能只是单纯为自己着想。也是因为如此,我重新认真地思考未来。加上前两个月的工作经验和最后获得的心得,我决定应该定下心来,努力往硕士(和可能博士)的学术领域的方向走去。之前不时被我朋友批评说在事业上身怀无大志的我,终于得到了激励我向前的方向和理由。

才回国了差不多两个星期,我的感触良多。我发现,原来真正的好朋友不会因为没有常联络和时间的拉长而感情转淡。回到来面对着他们,与他们重新相处时,仿佛仍有过去熟悉亲切的感觉。让我觉得很安慰的是,不常联络,不代表会减低他们对你的关心程度。也就是在经过了一些事情过后,才发现和深深感受到好朋友的存在意义,让我好不感动。原来,好朋友对我的付出是无私的--他们可以在明天仍有考试和本身仍面对着大问题时,停下来在深夜里接听你的来电和给你最好的劝告;他们也可以在你面对问题时,放下他们身边的事务,隔天抽空带你出去解决问题,给予你最大的支持。真的要感谢他们!

Friday, September 01, 2006

My bro is taking part in local movie 'Ciplak'!!!

This movie is about piracy, a social norm in M'sia. It should be funny and entertaining. You guys should go and check it out!!!

Here's the movie promotional site: http://www.fyi-entertainment.com/ciplak/ciplakmovie.htm
It includes the movie trailer, sypnosis, production photos, reviews and etc.

My bro (ck) is playing the cast as a DVD pirate, together with his mate (Ben). Before that, they already recorded few infamous songs about Pirate ( 'Peter the Pirate' and 'Run Peter Run'). I guess maybe their image is well-represented and reminds people about real Pirates on the street, earn them this position of cast to play. hehe :P

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Today I lost the reason to smile

Today is Independence Day for Malaysia. I would like to say, I love my country so much, love the people, the unique culture, the natural beauty , the food, and many many other more.
After an emotional chat with one of my friends who still apparently staying awake in the midnight in Malaysia, then i only found out that 'proud' and 'happy' are two different feelings on this special day.
Why? He threw me this question: ' Are you not feeling proud to be a Malaysian?' For God's sake, i love my country so much, how can i not be proud to be a part of this beloved homeland? then i think about his question can further sounds like 'how can you be proud and at the same time (today, the significant day) you are unhappy?'

First, i have to identify what am i proud of and the reasons why i feel proud. From the bottom of my heart, i realise that it's the LOVE for this land that i was borned in and lived in for so long, accounts for everything beyond rational. I am proud of the country which is supposed to be, but i am deeply concerned and worried about the current situation of the nation, the way the administration is running and its ability to handle various social problems and crisis now (which i am ashamed of) . In the end, it turns out to be my worries override my happiness (which supposed to be), makes me not feeling happy on this day. I don't know -- how can i be happy while i have worries that look so vivid and threatening?

What am i worrying? I think it's better to suppose to start with who should i be worried about.

I worry about the safety and security of my love one, my family and my friends walking on the street, day or night. I can't let them to be exposure to the unpredictable danger ahead. As the crime is seemed very prevalent nowadays, the police force doesn't convince the public about their ability to protect the citizen (even though they should have enough number to keep society in order - according to the report of Royal Commission on the police ). What can i ask for more if a basic task and duty they can't even fulfil the public expectation , instead they are trying to spend time to find out the absentee of National Service, arrest those who didn't pay traffic fine, invade into rock gig venue and arrest the youngsters and labelled them as black metal followers (my younger brother got into this)? While on the outside when we need more police to patrol to ensure the safety of the neighbourhood, however robbery,thievery, rape, murder, fighting are still on the rise, frightening people. What is the sincerity of the Police and Government if the Independent Police Complaints and Misconduct Commission can't even established, let alone other 124 recommendations in the report of Royal Commision on the Police?

On the economic side, our citizen are experiencing more living expenses pressure. Petrol price is on the hike, all kind of bills fee increases but the ordinary people's salary does not increase correlately. The economy is still a mess, the essence of New Economic Policy still haunting all malaysian, as few know this would only benefits to crononies and few people, not to majority of people. While Malaysia is started to lost the attraction to foreign investors, our dear miss Minister of International Trade and Industry still can act so arrogant, telling the foreign investors to go back home and not to come here to invest if they don't comply with our Positive Affirmative Discrimination economic policy that enforces 30% bumiputera share stakeholders. The economy doesn't look good now, it exerts some pressure and effects on me as well. As my father is a businessman, one of the most vulnerable to economic changes, i still have at least 2 years to continue my studies in UK (if i pursue my Master degree later on), i will be worried because i'm not a government sponsored student. The tutorial fee here is untoleratable high, trust me (not sure many of you know this). Furthermore my brother is planning to go overseas to USA next year to further his studies. I am worried whether my father's business can carry this burden.

I worry about the job opportunity and the salary after i am graduated. It is no joke. I need to figure out how to face the challenge ahead, most probably living in urban area, to sustain the need of myself and perhaps my future spouse and family. There are some voices going into my head these days that perhaps after i finish my Master degree, i should continue my phD (if i'm sponsored) to remain competitive in job or profession searching in my country. Every year the local universities produce many Master and phD students for the market and labour sector. Since the local university standard/quality has gone down a lot, this affects the value of the labour/employee. I will be one of the victims too, can't say that i'm graduated from Imperial College London, then i can demand the salary i think i suppose to have. What is the situation of local university now? ask your friend, you will know more or less, or perhaps read the news about what's happening in local universities nowadays. All the fools are still occupying the top academic jobs of the university, without convincing qualification but just loyalty pledge to ruling political party. But hey, our malaysian don't deserve this undervalue potential in each and everyone of us, just because of the current failure system of higher education.

I worry a lot more too... the threat to the preserving the unique and diversity of cultures and languages. I am afraid that my next generation will lose the chance to learn proper chinese education in our education system. There are always plots under the current ruling party to transform the chinese education to somewhat less significant than just one-Chinese-language-subject-only school. It's undergoing in MCA's plan of '6-2-4-2' to tranform the Chinese school, dividing and misleading the chinese community.

I worry that one day, the racial tension built up to an unimaginable level, due to the racial politics that promote disintegration and 'divide and rule' and work to discourage the real unity by inciting racial hatred for their political needs (they need this old trick now and then to save their political life). But many malaysian still live in the racial framework that set by them, following those racial sentiments, never really know the real intention of them and get played by them. I feel sad. Actually many racial issues are not really happening, are just a game or a show by those irresponsible politicians. I hate racism.

I always say that Malaysians are kind, hardworking, law-abiding, enduring and often innocent people. We have fruitful national resources and reserves, compare to many developed countries. South Korea and Taiwan were economically underperformed than us few decades ago, now they are leading us, leaving us far far behind. And now they are also more democratic (statistic often shows that democracy level correlates to the performance of the nation). I don't think that Malaysians deserve this. We should be at least on par with Taiwan and South Korea now.

Above are all my mixture feelings on the National Day, that explains the first time i lost the smile on this special day. My worries reflect my concerns for my beloved country. Sometimes i feel frustrated that why many of my friends do not really bother about this - if they do, why don't they show the same concern as me, and have the awareness for many current issues (social-politics issue) ? Without the awareness of most people, how to form a civil society that raise the level of democratic participation, check and balance the almost-dictatorship like government and draconian law, to push for a change? We need not to be a politician to push the agenda we want-- we all bear the same responsibility to build a better society. We can't just expect or hope for people to do the right things for us, we must be a part of the change. Just like you would never let people to control your own fate of life, you want to be the master of your own fate. Nothing comes for free, even to obtain democracy we have to pay a price, or else we pay for an even higher price for our future generation.

I don't worry for nothing , and i am not a natural pessimist ( i bet all my friends know my personalities)- that's why i urge my friends to show your constant care for our country, read more balance news articles (not only from the mainstream newspaper). We must get to know more about our own country , before we can say how much we love it. We must show that, we love it because we care. : )

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

反思国庆日的意义

马来西亚独立至今已迈向49年了,明天就是国庆日。对于年轻一辈的我们,这到底存在着什么意义呢?又是一天假期?是逛街购物的日子?抑是可以躲在家里睡大觉或看马拉松电影的时候?
我觉得应该是时候研究和探索正确的历史轶事,抛开歪曲真相的历史教科书教义和成见,才能体会到我国马来西亚建国的意义-过去,现在和以后。 让我担忧的是,到底多少年轻人拥有较正确客观的历史观,而了解到如今很多普遍存在的误解和偏见。我也在想,到底多少人真正在乎这些真相和想法?

日前,我在独立新闻网站和《当今大马〉阅读到不少深具反省意义的文章,我觉得应该拿出来与你们大家一起分享。为了使那些未订购当今大马的朋友也可以阅读到这一篇文章,我希望该篇文章的作者(其实我认识的)不会介意,当然还有希望当今大马的编辑可以高抬贵手,谅解我的好意,别告我侵犯版权。
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青年人要如何反思国庆?
李凯伦整理Aug 23, 06 7:49pm

国庆的意义是多么的贫乏,内容是空泛而且很多时候只停留于表面而已。明显的例子在于政府只会呼吁民众高挂国旗,以表示大家都很爱国。这是出席青年组织Youth for Change (Y4C)在上周六(8月19日)假槟城校友联会所举办的“马来西亚独立再思考”讨论会上所取得的共识。 这场一国语为媒介的讨论会成功吸引三大种族的青年出席,各个参与者都发表他们对独立的看法,更毫无顾忌的触及所谓"敏感课题"如马来人特权、新经济政策、独立斗士等课题。这显示马来西亚青年其实具有讨论课题的能力,只是需要更多的平台和机会,而不是避而不谈,扫到地毯下。

独立的深层意义 马来亚在1957年8月31日从英国手中获取独立,在1963年9月16日更纳入砂拉越、沙巴和新加坡而成立了马来西亚。这似乎表示马来西亚已经成为一个独立自主的国家,免于英殖民的影响,更可以自己主宰国家的命运。 然而,独立的意义是不是只停留在国家主权。除了进行抗争争取独立之外,我们也必须探讨国家的制度是否有达到人民期望?国家的独立又能否表示政权能够保护人民的权益,还是反转过来打压人民? 为何要独立?如果独立只是为了要有自己的国旗、国歌、国家元首等象征,那么独立的意义到底有多大?

为谁而独立?如果独立只是从英国的统治精英转手到本地的统治精英,那么独立对于我们是否有意义? 为什么我们需要独立呢?独立是不是可以让人民受益?当初为了争取独立而牺牲自己的先贤,到底他们是为了什么?如果他们看到今天的马来西亚,会不会是他们所要看到马来西亚? 独立至今接近半个世纪,人民是否有独立?我们能不能摆脱殖民主义的影响?就以英殖民地所遗留下来的一些恶法,如内安法令、紧急法令等宰制民间的想法,直到今天,我们的民选政府还是继续用这类的恶法来对付自己的人民。

分而治之继续扎根

除此之外,英国殖民地所进行的分而治之的种族政治,来到今天我们的种族关系还是那么的脆弱。只要有人提出一些有关种族课题如马来人特权,或者槟州首长各族轮任的议题,整个国家的神经线就像被注入了刺激素,国阵成员党纷纷站出来作戏,各自为自己的族群奋斗。 经济因素是主要的分而治之的原因。回顾历史,英国人之所以要在马来亚用分而治之的方法来统治,就是要方便统治及维持社会稳定来榨取国家的资源。英国人把马来人精英纳入行政,其余多是务农种稻。至于华人,一直被认为是外来移民,便专注于商业和采矿行业。而印度人便多是在园丘或者修建马路铁路的工作。 这种的分化,其后果就算到今天还是那么的明显。就算独立后,为了巩固当权者的政权,这类的统治手法还是被继续。马来人特权便是一个政治诠释,目的在于分化所有马来西亚人,方便当权者继续管治这个国家。

其实,513事件过后所延伸而出的新经济政策,整个问题还没有一个具体的调查报告,这件事件似乎无法被理性的讨论,更可怕的是在《种族关系》课程中却有偏差的判断,直接把矛头指向反对党的胜利。这将令我们永远无法从错误中学习,反而一直停留在这样的阴影,一直被当权者用来阻止公民社会进行理性讨论及寻找答案。 马来西亚的种族课题已经不再是简单的种族之间的问题,但是随着种族主义的制度化,透过各种政府政策如固打制、马来人特权、股票拥有权等,已经让种族偏见根深蒂固。

青年对话是出路

要解决这个问题,青年人必须知道什么才是理想的大马社会。我们都了解各族之间的谅解、和谐与进步的关系是非常重要。关键在于如何去实践。是不是透过国家的介入,用强制的手段来达至社会和谐?还是推出一个单一的语言、文化、与教育政策来达到国民团结的目的? 因此,青年人在扮演推动社会和谐的角色是举足轻重的。透过沟通与对话,青年将可以加强对不同种族的认识。青年不用背负太重的历史包袱,只要大家可以用理性、成熟与建设性的基础来讨论国家的未来,理想的大马社会并不会离我们太远!

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我又忍不住介绍这一篇由杨白杨在《当今大马》撰写的文章:

面对独立斗争历史
杨白杨Aug 30, 06 6:21pm

我也爱国。我从来不反对国人摇国旗,喊国号;不反对老百姓家里挂国旗迎国庆,我也不反对政党领袖种国花宣传他们的爱国情操。这是他们的权利,我们要给予尊重。不要批评他们做表面功夫。

只要是国民,即使是贪官污吏,都有表现爱国的权利,一个大贪官被枪毙之前要唱最后一次国歌,难道我们要阻止他吗?让他唱吧,反正他唱一百万次都不能改变他是贪官的历史事实。 我们尊重市井小民和政客的各种爱国方式。然而对英明神武又爱读书学习的政治领袖,我们的要求高一点点。他们不能像庸俗的政客那样在记者面前种国花,或者在家里挂国旗就算,他们应该站在一个更高的位置来对待国家独立的各种问题。什么问题呢?

有关国家独立的问题多了。有人问,如果日子没有过得比刚独立时好,争取独立来做什么?独立前可以做的事情,如果现在不能做了,不要独立不是更好吗?如果和独立国家一起诞生的国家宪法没有受到尊重,甚至不可以谈论,独立还有什么意义?一连串的问题,叫人透不过气来。

政治领袖要回答这些问题,首先要认真学习历史,这是他们的工作和责任,我不会花时间和精神去帮他们。我的好朋友黄永安比我宽怀大量,他不和政治领袖们计较这些,他在回教党党报网站《哈拉卡在线》看到该党中央研究中心撰写的重点评论文章:“重写独立斗争历史:一个正义的诉求”,就马上在《当今大马》通风报讯,加以报导,让我国那些不屑看回教党党报的政治领袖开开眼界,学一点有关国家独立斗争历史的新知识。

根据黄永安的报导,回教党这篇重点评论文章确认马来亚共产党在抗日抗英战争中,对独立的诉求,扮演一定角色。文章指出:“在日治时期,陈平和他的战友们是最勇于抗日的一群;他们在高山密林,以天为被,以地为铺,对日本展开武装抗争,为争取真正的独立,功绩怎能被否定?”文章也说:“马来亚共产党的斗争并不局限在抗日战争;他们也对英殖民地主义者展开武装斗争,争取独立。”

好了,我只敢抄这么一点点。其余的,有学问的政治领袖们应该自己去看,去分析,去思考,不同意这些内容的话,勇敢一点,站出来反驳,反驳得好,可以立大功;万一你同意这些内容,那么,对不起,你要更勇敢一点,也站出来告诉国人,你是一个尊重历史的人,你同意重写独立斗争历史,你同意这是一个正义的诉求。 如果你同意不同意都不敢站出来,我告诉你一个好办法,有记者追问到你的时候,你说:“我从来不读历史,无从奉告”。你也可以说:“过去的不要去谈它了,我们要向前看,不要向后看”,这样,你也就过关了,你继续唱国歌、摇国旗、喊国号、种国花,继续骂国人不爱国,因为他们没有挂国旗。
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还有三篇非常值得一读的文章:
1)种族主义泛滥的49年
2)重写独立史还原史实
3)要爱国请先认识宪法制约强权


读完了这些文章后,然后再来想一想到底国庆日快不快乐。

Photos & Stories

For the past 3 weeks, i went for trips during the weekend, within UK. I didn't plan it that way, but it's so coincidence that all sites that i visited are related to seaside. Maybe this just reveals my preference for seaside and beaches (spelling check...no prob! :P) Well, maybe it's only when summertime. A little bit of sunshine will do me good, makes me feel more like home. :)

Just like last time, i uploaded the photo albums of my trips to Brighton, Cardiff and Lulworth Cove, with captions and descriptions.

Here is the link:
http://cheehan85.multiply.com/photos

Enjoy!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

回家前夕

近来,我觉得自己真的活像个游牧人(nomad)。这两个月来,一共搬了两次。昨天,我又‘搬家’了。原因是我的朋友要去爱丁堡‘打工’三个星期,但却已还了房租至九月尾。他找我顶替他的个人房,并承诺给我打折扣至我现在一半的房租。那太好了!他的房间就在我的楼上,三楼。比较辛苦的是要将所有的行李搬上去,因为这里的学生宿舍没有电梯。我想,高兴的人还有我的那位早睡的英国人室友,现在又可以占霸整间双人房了。我也省掉了麻烦,晚上再也不必为了迁就他而把自己逼进厨房。再况且,我们的感情已转淡了,没有什么好谈的,有的也只是你我敷衍几句的客套话--我不喜欢这样的谈话,偏偏英国人给我的印象却是如此,他们假装的礼貌和热情让人觉得陌生得可怕。

也发觉在这两个月,我收拾了行李又卸下它来,前前后后不少过6次了(包括旅行的那几次),而且还不是最后一次--因为两个星期后,我就要回老家了!

似乎生命就像需要永无止境,周而复始地拿起和放下行李--带它上路,到未来未知的旅程。该是时候走,就得收拾包袱,有怨言都是徒然的。你也会发觉,原来不是所有的东西你都想带走,也不是所有想带走的东西你都可以拿得完。生命有时是要懂得取舍的,某些事物要拿得起放得下,不然你就会走得太累,无法顺利地完成行程。别让扛在你肩上的行李成为了你的负担。

(我也是时候要懂得选择割舍一些行李带回去了-发觉自己有会越拿越多东西的潜质)

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I like blue~

Blue, to me, it represents
1) beauty in calm and peaceful way,
2) life and nature - sky, water, sea, lake,stars...
3) good feelings - light and easy, cool and windy like gentle breeze, so comforting and soothing
4) Personalities - Straight, frank, sincere and true to yourself, (sometimes it just reminds me of a trademark song for this-- '因为我蓝' by 张泽。)
5) relaxing music - jazz, blues, nighttime bed music

In practise,
1) I have blue colour from top to toe - blue suit, trousers (jeans), shoes, socks, now even equip with blue strap watch, blue frame glasses -- actually i like to match blue and white together, make me feel like closer to the sky and sitting on the clouds. There's one time i even wanted to dye my hair in blue colour.

2) In fact, i rarely listening to jazz and blues music... but many good music present me with imaginary blue colour and feelings. Most of the time, the music genre that i like -- emo is blue .

3) The only thing i don't like in blue, especially when it comes to political colour. Blue is always associated to right-wing, conservative group - eg. Conservative Party UK, etc. I hate them, think that they are quite obstinate and over-prestige themselves, self-indulged and lost touch with the majority people. I hate dark blue even more -- this is the colour associated with corruption -- Barisan Nasional, Kuomingtang, etc. Enough said.

4) Aiyah...this is not true lar... film in blue colour? *cough*cough* i have sore throat and bad cough...sorry, no comment. :P

5) And recently i support my local football club in UK -- Chelsea FC. (yeah, shoot me, i know many of my football fans friends would like to...) There are million reasons why i support Chelsea, but one particular one is, they are BLUEs !!!!! hahaha....



( i just went to see Chelsea match live in Millennium Stadium, Cardiff, last Sunday, against Liverpool for Community Shield. I know they lost eventually - quite disappointed at first 'cause this is my first time watching them, (maybe this won't be my last time), but hey, i heard, the winner of this Shield has 80% chances not to become the champion in Premiership League. Well, good luck then, Liverpool, see who laughs at last. Anticipating the new season with the new addition of players - Michael Ballack and Shevchenko. )

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Black and Thick face... cannot tahan!!!

This article is from Merdekareview.com today. Below only shows the interesting part,which i would like to laugh about...

与此同时,马哈迪也为他执政时的人权记录辩护;他说他从来没有基于政治理由而援引1960年内部安全法令扣留任何人。
“在(1987年)茅草行动,我可以告诉你,我曾经告诉林吉祥,他不会被捕;但是后来警方逮捕他,我不能叫警方别抓他,因为他们有他们的理由这么做。”在1987年的茅草行动中,警方逮捕了106名异议份子,内政部也吊销了三家报纸的出版准证。当时,马哈迪兼任内政部长。
“当时他们玩弄华人种族情绪,所以他们被扣留。不是政治因素,我没以内安法令扣留政治上的反对派,我释放他们。”

I wonder how 'thick face' one can become. This surely exceeds the level that i can accept, makes me laugh soooooo loudly..LOL hahaha...

God knows what you did, Dr. Mahathir. What you did in the past will go down to the history book one day. Don't be '50 steps laugh at 100 steps' (chinese idiom), you are (or were) as corrupted as current administrator, if not worse. Not only both of you now, but many more BN party leaders are in the queue, we malaysian citizen would like to know whether you all have anything to do with corruption. Okay, Dr. Mahathir, you may still do your job to expose more corruption cases, c'mon, we really want to listen more from you. Right now, you still have the 'great use' to serve for our country one last time before your time is up. Good luck!

Some thoughts about blogging

部落格是你为自己而写的。你想写些什么,不想写些什么,或者想用些什么语言,都可以--只要这是你想做的。
当然,如果你觉得你要为其他人而写,也可以。不过,不需要强求喔!自然地想,当时想要用什么语言表达出来,就用什么语言。我就是如此,于是你就看到我的Rojak部落格,目前三种语言都有,非常典型的马来西亚式。(迟点可能考虑写德文来自己爽,哈哈!)

you write who you are in the blog world, for yourself especially. This space is your space, like your house is your house, you can do whatever you like to do.
You can write anything you want to, not writing anything you don't want to, or use any language you feel comfortable with... as long as you feel like doing so.

Of coz, if you think of writing for someone to read due to your courtesy, you may do so too. Tapi, jangan paksa sendiri lar... Ikut suka hati kamu (kalau kamu suka saya pun boleh ikut saya..kakaka).

By that time , when you are feeling right at expressing something in that particular language, just let it be natural, write down what do you want to express, which you think can express the best!

If you see my blog, then you know what's called a typical Malaysian Rojak blog. Currently it holds 3 languages. (but i have my principle -- i don't like to mix language in one article if not necessary).
Later, perhaps i will add my German language, for 'shiok sendiri' ...hahaha

I suggest those who don't understand any language (maybe my German in future), go look up for online translation (plenty of them nowadays - it is just so easy to do it, since you're already online, no excuse), or study that language in order to understand it lor...

***(originally posted at another friend's blog comment section-- i think i have points and thoughts to share, that's why i repost it here)

学习方式。做功课。往事一段。

每一个人都有自己的一套与众不同的学习方式。不一定平常适用于大部分孩子的方式,对某些孩子是有效的。

对于做不做功课,我本人有不一样的看法。教学应回到教学本质--叫孩子们做功课是为了什么?

如果做功课可以让孩子们温故知新,加强对某一方面知识的认知,那么这是无可厚非的,我认为那是有起着一定的作用的。最重要的是,该功课的用意或目的 -- 如果太过简单或死板的(比如生字抄写),学生未必会用心去做,那么,学习的作用就少了。(当过小学生的我们,也应该有感受吧!?匆匆忙忙地赶功课,只为了完成而完成甚至还有朋友比赛谁先写完)要加深学生对某新事物的印象最后储存至长期记忆,除了让学生反复演绎该知识在脑海里,还需让他们感受到该知识的意义和用处这样才能激起他们学习的兴趣。我们的大脑是有选择性记忆的,只会吸收认为有需要的讯息,淘汰其他看似占位没用的讯息。就像要你死记硬背几组不知从哪儿来的电话号码,你也会先问‘干吗?’,然后对那些号码的记忆效果比较差,印象很快就会模糊了(因为你是在被动记忆,不是情愿的)。但是,如果我告诉你,那是你的女(或男)朋友的电话号码,或者是追债人(‘大耳聋’)的号码(看到了要逃或挂或装死的),你一定会印象深刻,无论是多难记都会去记。我本人是不赞成hafalan等等硬硬一字一句的死记方式,以心理学的角度坦白地说,效果不会好。

但是,如果功课的挑战性或难度太高或太复杂,孩子们也会失去耐性,最后也就没有学习到些什么了。

小结一句,学习不一定要做功课,做功课未必是学习。

为何我顿时会有感触呢?

因为我想起一位失去联络已久的小学朋友。他本人外表看起来亲善乖巧,性格稍微内向。问题是他常常不交功课,他的名字对所有老师来说可真比当时流行的四大天王歌星还要红。 很多老师在课堂上在众目睽睽的情况下,对他怒吼,打的打,骂的骂,打到他死去活来委屈地放声一哭的也不少次。但是,他还是依然故我,没有任何改善。老师唯有继续打骂,好像没有别的办法了(也有一些老师最后选择放弃,不理睬他--切记,教育人的大忌莫过于放弃教育人的机会)。对于几乎当时(甚至现在)所有小学生和老师来说,没有做功课或没有交功课,就有很多的‘同义词’=懒惰,坏学生,骗子(通常都会编造藉口的,总不可能说,是的,因为我懒惰,或者很有性格地说,我不要做)等等,好像犯了滔天大罪。然后,这些孩子在学生朋友面前抬不起头,通常都会被排斥于主流群体内,受到歧视和被逼选择孤僻这样的‘教育方式’只会对他的健康人格的塑造带来无可扭曲的破坏。

可是,当时相信不少老师和学生都会有注意到一点-- 他的考试成绩相当不错,属于中上的水平,偶尔甚至挤得进十甲以内,令不少观察者惊讶至满地都是眼镜碎片。他的国语(马来文)尤其是好,还有一次获选代表学校到校外参加国语笔试,过后更上一层楼至全国赛。但是,他竟敢得罪我在小学时期公认最凶最可怕的Cikgu Pua,不交不做她的功课,真是吃了豹子胆。说真的,当时我的马来文还真的比不上他呢!

记得有一次,在偶然的情况私底下遇到了他,就向他问个究竟。我发觉,当我尝试接近他关心他时,他的眼神突现出喜悦和希望(我是其中几个还有与他说话交流的)。他说,他真的是没有做功课。再问他为什么?他给我这一辈子都会记得的答案:‘因为我在读书!(所以没有做功课)’我当时瞪大了眼睛,这答案出乎我的预料之中。我原以为是家境问题。过后接下来再问道:‘为何不跟老师讲?’。他眼睛望下,摇摇头说:‘老师是不会相信我的。’可怜。当时的我只懂得同情他而已,不知最后有没有其他人(包括老师们)知道真实情况。

没有做功课也可以把书读好,他的确是与众不同,可是委屈他了,让他付出昂贵的代价。教育人有很多种方式,不能走捷径,不能不重视少数‘另类’的人。用错了方式可以毁掉人的一生。

给一位正在担任临教的朋友,
我在这里长篇大论,只是抒发我的个人感想,然后与你分享我的看法而已,没有指正你什么。

那位为了家庭生计而没有做功课的学生也相当可怜的。你一定要尝试帮助他,耐心地教导他,尽可能让他在教堂上学会东西,然后私底下为他解决功课负担,也务必要让其他老师知道这点,这样才不会冤枉了他。

我相信你会做明智的决定的。

我有所感触,是因为最近假期自修心理学,学到了不少东西。我觉得,当你以后不忙的时候,回到你的大学去借一本(入门级)心理学课本吧!然后有空就去阅读它,你一定也会学到不少,改次(如果有)回到来教书也一定会以不一样的角度去看待你的学生们了,改善一些不大适合的传统教学方式。

(此篇文章原刊载在我朋友的部落格的意见箱里)

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Monkey !!!

These days many people are not that happy... i don't know why. Yesterday, i have to do my part to comfort few people in parallel during MSN chatting session (while i'm still in my working hours... no i didn't 'curing tulang' (tou lan),just that i have some free time before i proceed to the next lab procedure)

That's one friend she said she was so stressed and fed up. Then as usual, i asked her to cool down, and said perhaps i should do something to cheer her up. I didn't prepare anything in my mind, just randomly pop up saying if i do monkey dance, or sing monkey song, which one could make her feel happier? She responded eagerly, and insisted that i must do it. That time i was checking the emotion icons,
(i was only using MSN Web messenger, with limited icons ) suddenly thinking about an idea of creating the MONKEY DANCE... and it goes like this...

-han- says:
(background first)
-han- says:
(need someone to take pic as a proof that i've done it)
-han- says:
(to time the dance... hope i don't go overtime)
-han- says:
(serve u a cup of coffee, as u r watching this)
-han- says:
(maybe a hp when u want to share this funny dance show with ur friend..and laugh about that)
-han- says:
(definitely u need to film it to record it down)
-han- says:
(put some hot dancing music pls... to make it more lively)
anonymous says:
good show
-han- says:
(when the sun rises, it's almost time)
-han- says:
( u willl find that u would need an umbrella coz it's too hot)
-han- says:
(why don't u have another coffee again?)
anonymous says:
wasai
-han- says:
(then the plane arrives... the dancers step out of plane and get into )
anonymous says:
gastric ,cannot drink
-han- says:
( i need someone to cheer up first before we step on the stage... to give a round applause to welcome the monkey dancers team )
-han- says:
( tell everyone pls be ready to start)
-han- says:
we release all the monkeys from the car, and we dance in the background of this ... so monkeys are there , and dancers are there too...
-han- says:
this is what i call ' MONKEY DANCE' - the END-
-han- says:
happy?
anonymous says:
happy gua

anonymous says:
now sing song pls
anonymoussays:
u owe me a song
-han- says:
uuu waka waka waka kuak kuak kuak kuak kekekakaka uuuuuuuuuuuuuwawawawawawa wakawaka waka kuak kuak kuak kuak ...kekekekkakak
-han- says:
it's just a verse of that monkey song
-han- says:
not yet chorus ...
-han- says:
u want to hear the chorus?
anonymous says:
nobody sing song sing halfway
anonymous says:
quickly le
-han- says:
u didn't feed them bananas... how could they got energy to sing wor?
anonymous says:
i din buy bananas this week
anonymous says:
they owe me , why should i feed them
anonymous says:
suppose u feed them
anonymous says:
u dun sing then i shut down
anonymous says:
y suddenly pigs transformed 2 monkeys
-han- says:
okok...listen... here it comes the chorus...MONKEYS: I wanananananana bananannanana! gib mi gib mi gib mi gib mi banananananna!
anonymous says:
so bai chi!!!!!
-han- says:
pls give me a laugh (or banana)
anonymous says:
this really a song
anonymous says:
???
-han- says:
hahaha... it could be.... let me sit down and think about the bridge sometimes later..and perhaps the backup vocal too ... when i finish this, maybe i'll become the next beethoven
-han- says:
in composing 'Monkey Song'
anonymous says:
i want vomit!!!compare urself with beethoven.dunno how thick ur face
anonymous says:
u still ok ma , i scare u become mad
-han- says:
become scientist can also become mad wat!
-han- says:
if u can wait... wait for me 15 mins... i gotta collect result...if cannot , bye and goodnite!
anonymous says:
i wan to go now lo,becoz ur song not so interesting
anonymous says:
mr monkey
anonymous says:
bye

三件事

利益熏心?

坦白地说,我有一段时间‘密谋’搬家。因为我通过友人介绍,有一对意大利夫妇愿意提供我免费住宿,条件是帮忙看家打理,和照顾他们的宝贝宠物。那间屋子可真是相当大的,拥有5间睡房,客厅,厨房,饭厅,洗衣室,两间浴室厕所。后院还有一个不小的花园和泳池。屋子看起来相当吸引人,坐落在伦敦北部第3区,距离市中心约有一个小时。屋子那么大间,才两个人住。通常是由那位女主人打理。两夫妇现在都是博士学生。他们俩都很好人,带我参观和介绍了他们的屋子和周围的环境。对我来说,问题比较大的是他们的宠物。他们爱狗如命,任由狗只在屋里到处流荡。他们有两只相当大只的狼狗,两只小毛狗,一只肥猫,和一只兔子。我本身对狗没有什么特别的恐惧感,除了当感觉它们有威胁感时。那些动物们都太过热情了,嗅嗅舔舔地,一开始真的是不习惯,甚至有点慌张。原因是我从来没有多少接触宠物的经验,我家不曾有过宠物。

当他们说,叫我回家仔细想一想,才作决定。我就感觉到自己有点拿不定主意。

最大的好处当然是节省了庞大的生活开支。试想一想,一个星期可省80镑(扣除交通费后),一个月呢?一年呢?真的是不少钱。然后,我又可以拥有那么美好的生活环境,可以与西方人同住生活交流。看起来好像不错。坏处呢?我将失去不少了我的行动自由方便(距离大学还蛮远的),不少与这里的大马朋友同住的生活乐趣,也将改变不少我的生活习惯(比如说需要早起),和必须遵守他们的住家规则(家不是我的,我欠人人情呀!)

烦了一整个晚上,后来经过我的一位亲密朋友的指点,为我开窍了不少,差不多一语惊醒梦中人。我何必为了那笔钱而失去了欢乐,自由和自己呢?值得吗?我应该是来英国这里读书学习的,还有过自己喜欢的舒适生活,何必跟自己过不去呢?真的很感谢她。

最后,今天下午接到了那对夫妇的电话,说他们会比较喜欢对宠物有饲养经验的人,毕竟他们还是担心他们的宠物没有被好好照顾,当他们不在家时。

就这样,此案件就结束了。恢复正常。

人还是要回到生活原点,金钱毕竟只是身外之物。许多人为了钱,忘了如何生活。不应让钱使你的生活失去了色彩和‘正在生活’的意义!

遇见摄影狂!

那个星期四晚上,由于隔天不需要上班(已把份内工作完成了),我可以像往常一样开开心心做‘夜猫’。但是‘可恶’的室友总喜欢早睡,拿他没办法,就几乎每个晚上都将行动室迁去厨房。(我可以在厨房上网的,会不会发觉英国人很厉害呢?资讯和食物一样重要)

那天,一如往常呆在厨房观赏一部刚下载的韩语电影,就有一位住宿管理工作人员进来厨房作例常检查。原来他是我认识的人!他是同样在我大学就读的斯洛伐克人(Slovakian)。我们是在大学的摄影学会认识的。他见到我就坐下来欲与我倾谈。我就先暂停我的电影(很不过瘾的啦!)。我展示那些我在斯德哥尔摩(Stockholm)拍摄的照片,他就一边问我其他的问题(喂,给我一点面子总可以吧?),问说我有没有兴趣在大约十月旬到苏格兰去作摄影旅游?我说,不错的提议,但是距离现在还有点遥远,未来的日子不是很确定,也很难说。不过兴趣倒是有的,毕竟不容易与志同道合的人一起去一些自然景色美丽的地方旅游。然后,他兴致勃勃地问我有没有摄影学会执委或任何会员的联络方式(大哥,我不属于执委的啦!不要问错对象。不过,几个人的email倒是有的。)他留下来了他的联络方式给我,叫我给他一些资讯。

我原以为可以继续观赏电影了,怎知他开始述说起为何他今年不回国选择在此打工。他的工作其实很清闲(那晚他是做夜班的),钱真是好赚,然后又不需付住宿费。他说,他要把这三个月内所赚取的绝大部分的工钱来购买一台数码SLR专业相机和大大小小的摄影滤光镜片,工具等等。我瞪大了眼睛,哇噻,值得吗?天天日夜颠倒连续做半天工,只是为了摄影这兴趣?然后,他就把我手中的滑鼠和电脑抢过来,说要给我看他的作品和他设计的网站。他也给我看了他为一个摄影网站写了几篇有关在伦敦的摄影生活游记。也透露了不少有关他在摄影的雄心似乎不纯粹是兴趣那么简单。父亲是从事摄影行的,而他的摄影技巧是自学的。

主要驱使他购买新相机的原因是‘商业用途’,将来可以更方便地使用,赚取的利润较大。他说,不久前有个例子--有位生意人大兄联络上他,说他愿意付出40镑为他拍摄一张个人照。账目上看,似乎这是一个大赚的机会,可是目前他使用的相机是底片相机,扣除旅程费,相卷,洗底片(还是自己动手的),相框等等,所剩无几。加上愈来愈多人偏爱数码式的照片,可以轻易地放上网与人分享交流,情愿你将相片存入一片光碟给他们。那就麻烦了,你可要走‘长路’-买相卷,洗底片,最后还要用scanner 抄录进电脑最后照片品质都变了(尤其是最后scanning的步骤)。他说得不是没有道理。我也正在想再升级我的相机,因为我觉得我应有资格使用较专业的SLR相机那才是真正地考你的摄影技巧!不过,这几年来在我家,一直买相机的人似乎是我,不懂该如何开口要求另一台了。

他一直抱怨他不得志,大学没有给他多少发挥的空间,说其实还有大量可开发的地方。他一直炮轰我们大学的学生杂志,拍摄的效果差劲,甚至可以把连焦点模糊的照片也放上报。然后又不给版位给摄影学会,或邀请摄影学会派员来作校方的正式的摄影记者。也对摄影学会内部的凋零情况感到失望--感觉到他有满腔热情,有才华冲劲,却陷入无从发挥的困境。

翻看他的作品集,我当然自叹不如。我也许抓到了少许摄影的窍门,还说不上很会摄影--当别人称赞我时,我都会有一点不好意思。因为我不想班门弄斧嘛!不过,我相信,如果我有相同的相机和工具,我肯定会很用心的学习,然后至少可以达至这位老兄的水准。对我来说,他已差不多可以摄影找吃了,拥有一定的专业水准。

http://www.doc.ic.ac.uk/~jd505/enghome.htm


我顿时发现,当一个人对自己的理想坚定信念,满怀热忱和憧憬时,说起理想来,眼睛炯炯有神,言语充满感染力,拥有多么强大可怕的前进推动力啊!

旧的不去,新的不来?

从小学开始,不知怎的就有人叫我‘老古董’(是有点奇怪的,hhmm也不大好长篇大论解释由来)。说实在的,我确实很珍惜‘旧’东西,尤其是陪我‘征战’多年的宝贝物件。我也是实用主义者,只要我的‘旧’东西还可以发挥正常,达到一定的效果用处,我不会计较到底它们跟不跟上潮流的。(我本人是最不讲潮流的)

最近,我终于买了一台/支新的MP3随身听,取代我那架陪了相当旧的MP3 CD 机。说真的,近来你几乎可以看到那种大块的CD player在英国街上完全消失。所以,这些日子以来我携带我的‘大块’MP3 CD机出去,都会引来不少好奇的眼光了。以实用的角度来看,那体型算不了什么。我携带一片MP3 CD也够我聆听一整天了,不会不方便,看不出任何需要做出改变的决定。

也许时代变换的脚步快了,我也必须换方式储存我的‘娱乐品’(MP3, MTV和电影)--这些都是占据我的电脑记忆库的绝大部分位子。再加上我的需求量又增加了(在英国有了宽频后,下载的次数越来越频密,下载的物件也直线上升)。目前,我已增加了DVD烧录机,来应付我的需求。然后,接下来的问题就是:如果我的MP3都烧录进了DVD,我的MP3随身听怎么办?结果,在两天前找到了解决方案:我趁夏日倾销时期,买了一个价钱相对廉宜的笔形USB MP3随身听,有2GB的记忆体。那样,我就可以拿去健身房聆听了,甚至任何地方,不怕震动干扰MP3机的运作。无论如何,旧机还是有存在的价值的,毕竟它的功能还是完整的。

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Just uploaded my Sweden trip photos

I spent a whole night yesterday selecting and editting the photos. Also i did some extra work to write the captions, as i promised to Dave and friends. So, give me some comment and credit if you like them. This will be only available so far in English. I'm not sure whether i will put up some chinese description there later on... it's time consuming.

Here is the link to my photo album:
http://cheehan85.multiply.com/photos/album/11

Check it out and tell me what do you think!!! thank you!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

这就是前进阵线等等的进步学生组织该努力的地方

上个星期日,我才与其中一位仍在本地大学念书的老朋友聊天。很不经意地,我们就聊到才发生不久的博大生校园亲学生阵线遇欺压的丑闻事件。我的朋友感到十分同情,还有少许的气愤和无奈。她是为全国升学辅导组织服务的,基本上也是做着对大学生有贡献的活动,尤其是对‘非土著’学生而言。她说现今她所看到的大学录取制度(我都不屑说那里存在着一个‘制度’),一年不如一年,事实上还比固打制度时期更欠公平。这些,如果稍微有作留意也应该会发现到。不过,不是所有人都能很客观地看待课题常常把种族情绪发泄在友族的身上就是看不到问题的根源。

不过询及她接下来会如何应对,就可以看到她的思想比较消极的一面。她认为,目前的期望是希望问题不会再恶化下去(虽然知道这种期望是一点都不切实际的),然后固守目前的防线。我就反问道,如果她和她的组织(全升)不主动出击,夺回失地,或至少把防线拉前,她又怎么能确保就守不失呢?虽然全升的功能犹在,但是所捍卫的防线已随着恶化的本地大学录取制,而节节败退。校方当局(或高等教育部)更是乐于看到学生消极地争取权利,才敢肆无忌惮地继续打压和欺凌大学生,公然欺骗大马社会全民。在我眼里,目前全升只是做着事后修修补补的工作,无助于改善情况。若不积极结合其他进步的学生组织的力量,恐怕最后于事无补。

再问及她为何不积极参与前进阵线的活动?她有所顾虑--从她的言语当中就可看得出校方或是主流媒体或是执政党的论述的逻辑影子。这些‘主流’的论述是多么地根深蒂固,牢牢地控制着很多大学生的思想,制造非常有效的恐惧心理。对于校园真实情况缺乏全面的了解,才会轻易地听信只字片语。可是我感觉到他们的恐惧是多么真实的--他们害怕被停学,被警察抓,被校方捉去问话,和所引发的种种问题。的确,我知道不是每个人都能承受得住。我告诉她,站在正义一边的是你,你又没有做错什么,实在没有理由感到害怕。其实比你更怕得要死的是那些不学无术的校方当局,怕盖不住自己的短处被人揭穿和被社会人士批评以致失业,所以才先发制人来为你洗脑,制造恐慌。

有几个她提出的论述都很值得参考研究不知是否反映出绝大部分本地大学生的保守心态。第一,有一位讲师告诉她:‘何必与强权对抗呢?明知你是斗不过它的。’‘那些好斗的都没有几个是有好下场的’。

-- 这种要你当奴隶的封建时代的言论实在要不得。但是学生应看看到这些讲师和校方所引用的例子是否恰当?事实上,自从1998年以来,遇《大专法令》对付的学生有多少个是最后成功的?除了比较遥远的ISA7的案例,近期几乎没有几单案件是校方敢为所欲为的。为什么?因为有公民社会的关注和鼎力支持与捍卫这些正义和勇敢的大学生。几乎没有学生是单独行动挑战大学机关的不合理处,背后都有一群相同理念的人支持。所以,当校方要对付大学生时必然投鼠忌器,一方面是理亏(从他们为自己辩护的理由常常站不住脚),另一方面是害怕社会(尤其是非政府组织)给于的监督压力,如果再被反对党带上国会就纸包不住火了,自暴其丑。

而如果不是这一群勇敢正义的大学生站起来抗议和对外揭露,如今本地的大学生的权益早已一一被剥夺至所剩无几,变成名副其实的读书机器人和罐头。我更可以说,学生早已需要付更高昂又不必要的杂费。最后吃亏的是谁?如果不知道事实还不用紧,知道了之后为何还要傻傻地忍受呢?那些对这群勇敢正义的学生冷言冷语,甚至反过来帮助校方打压他们的学生,真不知要如何形容他们如何辜负了全体的大专生。真是 ’Harapkan pagar, pagar makan padi’ 到底这群学生的下场有什么不好?几乎所有我认识的学生运动分子,没有一个是最终无法顺利毕业的,或者被停学过。问问我们鼎鼎大名的郑立慷大哥吧!或者也可拿赖康辉来做借镜。

第二,有人灌输大学生们,“自由和民主是西方国家的玩意儿,这里国情不同,所以西方的那套自由和民主是不适合我们的” 自由和民主是普世的价值观,何有东方和西方之分?对父母孝顺,难道就只是东方人才可以拥有或认同的价值观吗?我们马来西亚政府所说的那套自由和民主简直是笑话--他们可以说应以经济发展为先,然后再提出种种理论来扭曲对自由和民主的意义。而我说,就是因为缺乏自由和民主,所以贪污纵生,国家财库被淘空,经济发展其实变得更恶化。这就解释了目前大马的情况。我敢说本来大马的经济能力应可与南韩匹比,与台湾旗鼓相当的。再况且以前这些国家的经济发展还曾是排在大马下面的,他们为何能冒起的那么快,甚至超越了我们,远远地把我们抛在后头呢?就是我们缺乏透明度和监督制衡的能力这些都是自由和民主赐给人民的保障。如今能怪谁呢?

也许你会奇怪,为何我会如此地关心本地大学的课题? 我本来就是海外大学生,并应没有什么义务去帮忙或声援,也应该对我影响不大吧?!如果你认为我这么想就大错特错了。目前本地大学生的问题将带给国家社会长远的影响。影响的范围之广不容低估-- 本地大专生的素质下降,进而影响国家经济的竞争力。然后就是就业问题(外资不入,高科技的技术产品商不敢投资在本国,我到海外读到如此高深的学问有何用?),生活水平问题(工资更低了,万物物价又涨,生活更难过了)等等,如此切身的问题,如何能置之不理呢?说穿了,只不过想尽一份力量帮助你我塑造更美好的国家前景,对你我都有好处啊!如果有人会认同我的见解,为何不一起参与行动呢?要坐以待毙,还是守株待兔?

目前学生组织最棘手的问题,就是如何说服许许多多存着误解偏见和恐惧的大专生参与他们,或至少是站在他们那边支持他们的 尤其是新生们,让他们了解到,目前的问题是大家的问题,是时候付诸行动捍卫和争取学生本该拥有的权利,一起协助改善本地校园素质,将来毕业出来后才有价值,才能够英雄有用武之地。不然,将来的本地一级荣誉学士的文凭也只不过是废纸一张,无人会认真看待。最终它也不能对你的生活起着什么保障作用。

p/s: 给我所谓的那位朋友,请你不要生气,我只是觉得我们那天的谈论有很好的题材和教育作用,所以才把一些主要概念在这里写出来。不过,我没有讲衰你啦,也没有把你的大名爆出来,希望你不会介意。如果介意的话,email我,我再把它拆下来)

Scientist Life's shorter than normal

This is one thing i feel strongly against, after 5 days of working on the same 9 samples. Finally today i found the impedance, or the root cause of problem of not being able to get any positive result from PCR reaction. In the end, it's all down to the PCR primer pair problem, that denied my 4 whole days worthwhile effort trying to get something right -- it is really not my techniqical problem. For this PCR laboratory technique, i can say that i am as pro as anyone else now.
My supervisor told me the 'moral of this story' is, 'believe in yourself and be confident in your own judgement.. and never ever give up trying'. He said he always know the pair of primer he used to work on very often , is working. Previously, i used other people's primer pair (recommended by his research teammate), tried for 4 full days just to carry out that experiment. After all he told me this... u can almost hear the breaking sound of my blood vein... oh my gosh, why don't he let me use his own pair of primer then? is it so fun to test for others for 4 full days? i don't understand in this case... life is wasted.Evidently. : (

In case you wonder how can one experiment takes up one full day -- very simple... to prepare the cDNA for PCR amplification takes half an hour... next, for the PCR machine to do the job for me, takes me 3 hours plus plus... then i have to prepare agarose gel (waited for half an hour for it to form gel) then loading PCR product samples into the well takes me another 20 mins (as i tell you, i can work very fast liao), but running the gel takes me another hour waiting (well, whenever i have free time, i can spend sometime reading online news, even MSN messenger chatting or writing emails, or to poke people for fun in Friendster). After all these, then only i can collect my result, determines the rest of my day, either a success or a disappointment ( no 'failure' in my supervisor's dictionary).

Alright, today i deserve it. ( i don't have mood for another failure...nono...disappointment). Then since i am already applying to take a leave as schedule to travelling in Stockholm, Sweden for 4 days, my supervisor gave me a long list of PCR samples to do (of coz using his pair fo primer now...don't make me crazy), and another sample list of white blood cells extraction to do once i come back from holiday. It should takes me more than 1 week to finish the task. yes, i'm a cheap labour and yet so useful for my supervisor ...haha...

oh yea, he praised me on many occasions, make me feel overrated sometimes. hhmm.. there was one day he asked me whether i'll continue my studies until phD. I said i won't (at least for this moment). He asked back, 'why not?' he thinks i have the potential, and 'highly motivated' by working, should seriously thinking about the decision again. he went further saying that i was now doing even better than some of the Master students that he met. (overrated...i'm overrated~). He said that he only spent one week of demonstration and guidance and i already could work on my own, learnt very quickly. (okay , to be fair, 50% of things i have already done in my first 2 years of laboratory, although those session i was not that serious and careful, but it is really not so alien to me...that's why...)

Oh no, don't get me wrong, they are really a great bunch of nice people. I really enjoy getting along with them. i don't feel any offensive to my supervisor, he's a great guy also! Just want to let you guys know that... i'm also tough, and i guess you never see such a 'highly motivated' yet committed volunteer who is almost the first few who come into the office (usually 9.30am or earlier) , and almost the last few to leave (on somedays... not always), somemore willing to work overtime (sometimes worked until 7pm)... scare ler? haha... don't worry i'm not a workaholic,and not so 'highly motivated' as described, just that i'm always the man of responsibility. I will always try my best to complete the task in my hand in time.

That's about it... the first 3 weeks of my working experience. Although this is my first working experience, clearly proven that i can work... i'm not 'qian jin shao ye' as someone described me.
Enough said. haha...

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Is a 'B' too much to ask for?

Why am i always destined to get 'C' for everything since i come to university? I feel disappointed and depressed when i just received my final exam results a moment ago. This time i've got another 3 'C' for my 3 subjects. I had given my best and genuinely hoping to see at least a 'B' in any of the 3 subjects. I felt confident with what i had performed in the past exams after walking out of the exam hall. I thought i can show something this time... not Consistently 'C' , makes me feel like 'C' is for Constant... why oh why? of coz you may comfort me that i 'C'an do it better next time... so many next time i have given my try... and still C the same thing. I want a Change, i just want to C 'B'etter result like at least a 'B'... why is it so hard? i never come this close before... i am a 'B'oy, give me at least a 'B'... i won't give up trying...will give my 'B'est to obtain at least that result... c'mon!!! B is not that 'B'ad , at least better than a 'C'urse! i must 'B'reak this 'C'urse!!!!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

A truly Malaysian rock!!!

This morning i just browsed thru one of the interviews of Ben's Bitches:
http://www.think.com.my/print.cfm?art_id=109

Ben's Bitches is my elder bro's band. He plays as a bassist (named CK).
I'm quite anticipating their new album 'Mamak Conspiracy' to be released. It's a good news for them to be able to sell their album on the shelves of many major music record stores in M'sia, after signing to a local music record. They even have their debut album 'National Disservice' re-released, and this time you don't have to buy their albums only in their underground gigs.
I'm impressed with their experiment of music that touched many themes of Malaysian daily life, sing out the voices of many grassroot citizen. Indeed a truly local act. They are just unique, and a pioneer in this local music scene. Both lyrically and musically creativity should not be undermined.

Just wish them good luck in future and hope their songs can reach to more listeners. A good recommendation for you guys too. Hope you would give it a try and check out this band!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Statistics of my current life

- More than 4 out of five working days in the morning, on the way to catching bus, i will almost 'meet' (at least) a garbage truck, how wonderful is the beginning of the day!

- On working days, i wake up averagely at 7.15am. This levels the record 4 years ago when i am still studying in high school.

- also on working days, i am 'forced' to go to bed as early as 1am (yes, 1am is goddamn early for me still), due to many reasons... must have surprised many of my close friends who know me well.

- Cooking frequency during this period is, almost daily covering my lunch and dinner, also covering my roommate's dinner. Cook rice with frying pan is my special skill. haha. (becoz i don't have rice cooker right now)

- 2 weeks did not download any songs and movies at home (student hall). Frustrated me a lot as the college student network has increased the security so well, that can block or cut my main resource effectively- bittorent and limewire... i'm dead and bored like hell... leads me to buying my first ever and many more DVDs here in UK, watch many bizarre foreign movies.

- In the past 9 months, it must be more than 10 times that i was seeing the bus that i want to take passed by in front of my eyes. 2 times lead me to resolve to the resolution of paying taximan, and one time paying both taximan and National Express Coach cooperation.

- In the past 9 months, i consumed more than or about 250 tea bags. A genuine caffeine addict.

- In the past 9 months, i pressed my camera shutter more than 3000 times. Impressive huh? ;)

- Also in the past 9 months, i finished my 60 copies of cdr and finally resolve to using DVDR burning!!!

- ermm... what else? in 7 months, i have posted 62 blog updates?

A hot day

Yesterday, it was very hot in London. According to my supervisor, he said that that day is the record breaking temperature for about 100 years (it is the hottest day since year 1911) . The highest degree celcius of the day was 34. We just finished our PCR work, he suggested to go out for a lunch. He even mentioned about a chinese buffet restaurant in Shephard Bush, and asked my opinion. Oh my gosh, that is the most 'famous' and most frequently visited chinese buffet restaurant for Dave and Andy. I was there twice. So, i said , it's a nice restaurant. And then he asked another Italian phD student there, which is also my friend now, to join us. Yes, of coz, he showed his interest too. Then we sat in his new Honda car , and started our journey.
On the way to there, we discussed about the phenomenon of the current global weather. My supervisor is a skeptic about global warming. He argued, how can people can predict the future 100 years ahead? he said, it can never be accurate and so predictable as what they claimed is true. Well, he has such a strong view, plus he is my supervisor, haha... i give him face, and state my own views only. i don't argue back la, u know...i still think global warming is the indicator of how the global change which backed up by many scientific research. In my belief, it is true and now occuring.
My supervisor also suddenly popped up with this idea when he observed many people on the street took off their clothes and half-naked to cool down under the sun - he 'laughed' at those people that is not the way to obtain cooling effect. He backed his point with how those Middle east people dress up in hotter weather than this, up to 40 degree celcius. He said, if we notice careful enough, those people are wearing cloths from top to toe, to protect themselves from the direct sunlight and heat. He thinks that this is the way only will give people cooling effect 'coz clothes providing 'shade' for people. wow... how interesting thought is that! How impressive that i have this supervisor. I think i could learn to see things differently from this quite unique independant critical thinking supervisor = )

P/S: i must say that, that chinese restaurant food quality is only decent, but have vast variety of choices and cheap, though. But one bad thing is, i discovered that they are the first restaurant ever in UK do not provide 'tap-water' . haha... my favourite drink in UK :P

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Perangai yang semacam monyet dan memalukan institut pelajaran tertinggi di M’sia

Hari semalam barulah saya baca berita tentang satu lagi kes penindasan pelajar berlaku di Universiti Putra Malaysia, dari halaman web berita alternatif. Sampai hari inilah saya berpeluang menonton peristiwa ini yang berlaku pada kawan-kawan saya di universiti sana, dari halaman berikut. Saya amat terkejut pada awalnya, lalu mengesal dan kecewa terhadap pendirian pentadbiran universiti yang bias, menlindungi atau membiarkan pihak pelajar yang berperangai semacam monyet (atau apa-apa binatang liar yang lebih sesuai menggambarkan) bersikap biadap dan kasar dengan saudara-saudari mereka yang belajar di bawah atap yang sama. Sudah lama pihak pentadbir enggan mendengar suara pelajar yang mencintai universiti ini dan mahu mempertahankan hak-hak asasi mereka. Kadang-kala terdengar kes-kes penindasan pihak pentadbir yang bertindak secara senyap dalam operasi mereka untuk menaburkan perasaan takut di kalangan pelajar yang pro-aktif. Tetapi kali ini, pencabaran yang terbuka ini memang menakutkan… Wahai saudara-saudari sekalian, tengoklah sendiri tayangan ini melalui saluran ini: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbI7-gY9-RY

Mungkin ada orang yang berfikiran racist akan menyimpulkan kes ini merupakan penggeseran antara kaum dengan mudah, kerana apa yang terlihat membabitkan dua pihak yang berlainan warna kulit. Tidak. Kelompok pelajar yang membuat kacau adalah pelajar yang mewakili pihak pentadbir untuk ‘menjaga’ pelajar lain. Mungkin juga kamu akan berpendapat, apakah salahnya berpihak dengan pentadbir dan membantu mereka? Kesalahan mereka adalah bukan sahaja mengadaikan kebanyakan hak-hak pelajar dan kebebasan berkumpul, bersuara dan berfikir dengan kritik yang sepatutnya berwujud di menara gading, tetapi tidak mengambil inisiatif untuk menjaga kebajikan pelajar yang menuntut pelajaran yang berkualiti dengan yuran tambahan yang berpatutan. Arus penswastaan sejak universiti membuka pintu untuk kroni-kroni telah menambahkan beban atas bahu banyak keluarga yang berpendapatan rendah. Jadi, kenapa pelajar demikian masih membantu pihak pentadbir bertindak jahat secara terbuka di ruang selera di universiti? Apakah objektif mereka sampai tidak kisah dan sanggup merobohkan imej mereka dan universiti sendiri? Fikirlah rakan-rakan ku yang bijaksana… saya beri satu contoh: apakah nilainya samseng mengambil risiko hidup mereka keluar mengadu, kalau tak ada manfaat untuk mereka? Jadi, manfaat untuk pelajar-pelajar tersebut boleh dianggap dalam pelbagai bentuk: duit, kebendaan (eg. Bimbit telefon Nokia terbaru), faedah-faedah untuk menikmati ‘perkhidmatan’ luar biasa (seperti melancong ditajai oleh pihak pentadbir) dan lain-lain. Ini bukanlah fitnah, kerana saya pernah memperolehi ‘maklumat dalam’ semasa saya membantu kawan-kawan ku di universiti untuk melancarkan kempen plihanraya kampus pada dua tahun yang lalu.

Sekarang situasi sudah berubah. Pihak pejuang hak pelajar akan menghadapi cabaran yang lebih kuat daripada pihak pentadbir yang mahu terus menekankan dan ‘menyelesaikan’ kumpulan pelajar ini supaya pihak pentadbir ini boleh mengumpan faedah daripada parti politik pemimpin negara kita (tak usah saya tunjukkan parti yang mana) atas ‘jasa’ mereka. Juga mereka boleh mengongsi untung kroni-kroni swasta yang lumayan. Nampaknya kedua-dua pihak (pelajar memihak pentadbir dan pentadbir sendiri) pun gembira. Inilah sebab utama kerosotan kualiti pelajaran tertinggi negara kita – Fikiran feudal pihak pentadbir yang tidak mengambil berat tentang kualiti bidang akademik. Macam mana universiti negara ini boleh tersinar di antarabangsa? Bilakah mereka menjejak ke arah hadapan yang maju dan bukan terperangkap dalam tangan pihak yang suka memainkan politik yang kotor yang menyebabkan kejahilan dan kemunduran?

Masalah-masalah institut pelajaran tertinggi sekarang ini hanya boleh diatasi dengan lebih effektif jikalau AUKU (Akta Universiti dan Kolej-Universiti) boleh dimansuhkan. Tak ada jalan lain yang lebih memuaskan selain ini. Kalau saudara-saudari tidak mahu gambar-gambar tadi seperti apa yang ditonton berlaku di universiti dan tidak mahu status pelajar terjejas/ tergugat, sokonglah gerakan pelajar-pelajar berani ini untuk menuntut hak kamu. Inilah sesuatu yang amat berkaitan dengan masa depan kamu, saya yakin bahawa saudara-saudari tahu membuat pilihan yang bijak dan membuat apa-apa yang patut.


Mandarin news page links:

http://www.merdekareview.com/news.php?n=2130
http://www.merdekareview.com/news.php?n=2096


English news page link:

http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/54100