Life is not perfect, but you can always make your own choices

I was told by a close friend about her deep discontent in life. She regrets that she opted for the life decision in the past, to the point of the past keeps haunting back to herself.

Of course, I know everything about her right from the start. I told her that life is not perfect, we tend to make decisions which leads to certain consequences. Sometimes, if not most of the time, not every choice we have in our hands would lead to the ideal situation. Life is about give and take, gain and loss. In this less than perfect world, if she insists everything to work in her way, this could make her life very miserable.

I analysed for her that, in that junction of life she used to stand before, she had 3 choices:
1st one would mean her partner gives up (or temporarily suspended) his better career prospect, just to go back to home country to be with her. The huge benefit of this decision is to resolve the Long Distance Relationship once and for all (as LDR is being the major discontent point for her), and stabilize the long-running relationship. That also means that her partner's sacrifice for something he values even more -- love and lover. This is most of the time seen by some people as a 'loss' for him, and also loss for her, as she also dreams of migrating and staying at overseas. The other benefit is that he would not feel guilty of breaking bond (that requires a big sum of repayment), as he was a sponsored scholar.

2nd one would be she let him to continue the specialisation opportunity in his career, while still keeping themselves LD apart for 3 or 4 more years. This is arguably the worst choice, as this would mean both sides would be suffering for longer time and may not eventually get together and overcome the LDR. But she told me she yearns for this choice, as this would make him feel better and put him and her less pressure from the families and society.  (Overseas returns are far few in between, I presume, people would be always be rather surprised and very interested to ask -- why don't you stay there for better life?)

3rd one, would require herself to give up her profession and just migrate there to join him, as her professional qualification in Malaysia would not be automatically recognised by the new country. She did not consider this that time, because she was so reluctant to let go of what she already have, and migrated there just to be a housewife doing nothing. I also presume, the loss heavily on her own self, would be harder for her to take.

So, whatever choice she makes, would lead to different scenario, and would mean certain losses. No perfect one. From the point of view of the current status they are, I do not think that she made the wrong or bad choice, at least the relationship still going strong although life in Malaysia is tough. But she was totally occupied by the losses and the consequences he and she are facing right now, forgetting about what she is currently gaining from the decision --- isn't that the relationship always her top priority? Now she's got that !!!

Past is something you cannot undo, but what you can change is your future. Who says it is not possible to get the things you want in future? Even though by trying so would also sometimes mean that you need some sacrifices and patience and luck along the way.

I would advise her to look at the bright side now and in future (which can still change), and not living in the past looking at the dark side now. Life cannot be perfect, but you can still salvage the best from wherever whenever you are now. It is not as bad as you thought.