關子很好賣

常常賣的人，一定覺得生意很好做---因為賣關子不用本錢，講實話（或錯話）才要付出代價。

Break

A break is good for most working people (even better for hardcore workaholics), but break↑ (relationship) or break↓ (machine or equipment) is no good.

parody answer to my friend's FB status post

1) friend: If u want to make God laugh...... tell him your future plans :)

 my reply: If you want to make God cry, then tell him again that you were just joking and that you really don't know.

2) friend: oh I don't give a shit!

my reply: but you can take one?

天使與鳥人

我記得以前有讀過一則笑話，說什麽：有翅膀的，不一定是天使，也可以是鳥人！

最近才發現，我（的名字）真的有羽毛，羽毛上還載著一個人呢！
我不敢說我是天使，但希望不是，也不要做鳥人！

哦，還有，我也是個有心人啦，呵呵 =）

Cold joke

I saw my colleague using a Nokia touch phone (well, i am not quite sure whether it is Smart or not) , it looks quite new though. At that time, she used that as a calculator. 

Then I asked her, if that was her new phone? she said , NOPE, it is already 10 months old.

Oh i see, I said. I asked her again, two months later would you celebrate his birthday?

Dang! she looked like this = @@ (炸到！）

不是所有船到橋頭自然直

不是所有船到橋頭自然直，有些還可能會撞上橋頭橋尾。
（喂，別跟我掰，直直地撞上橋頭也是直！）

当他们说‘是’的时候

德國人愛跟你‘呀呀‘兒語；跟英國人說好他們會‘野’你；美國人就是‘啞巴’；印度人會與你打功夫‘阿擦！’；法國人會笑你‘矮’ (hokkien)；西班牙人就简直诅咒你‘死’（hokkien)

I phone is no better than 'eye'-phone

my self created original I phone joke... targeted particularly at person who owns an I phone and acts very lansi/boast about that.

Imagine if that someone asked you whether you have got an I Phone, you just answer, 'Yes, I do have.' 'You wanna see? come, come... come looking into my eyes'. After awhile of eye-contact, then you say: 'i am calling you now.. i am calling you now, please pick it up! pick it up!!!'

That guy/gal must look rather confused now, then you continue saying: 'i am also using 'Eye'-phone, why don't you just pick it up just now?'