Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
四海之内皆爱国
我目前仍身在海外求学，不知不觉已有6年了。身为海外的大马公民，最容易也最常被国人（无论是在大马的亲戚朋友，或在海外认识的同乡），甚至是当地人（我 们都称他们为‘外国人’）问起的是：一）你会不会回国？，二）你什么时候会回国？当然，第二个问题是建立在第一个问题的正面答案。
有趣的是，提问 的人各有不同的假设。比方说，国人会首先认为你打算不回国的（可能心想：不然干嘛你待在那里那么久？）。你如果说你有回国的意愿，他们反而会惊讶你的决 定。他们会问你，到底你还需要多少年才可以获得PR（永久居留证），然后再问你为何不继续留多几年直到拿到PR呢？仿佛没拿到PR实属可惜，而且不明智。 有者反而还会说，马来西亚有什么好？外国（通常是指西方国家）生活条件多么美好，赚钱又比国内多，当很多国人想冲出国外工作生活的机会都没有的时候，怎么 你却那么傻急着想回来？他们质问。当中有人甚至建议你干脆移民就好了。
如果你的答案是‘不会回国’，国人的反应可能就会比较矛盾和复杂了。有者会很羡慕，认为你这样做是很合乎情理，然后祝福你，说如果他们是你也会作 同样的决定；有者会稍微叹气，虽然表现得很明白，但感觉好像很快就会失去了这位亲人或朋友，往后各自过着两个平行线的生活，不会再有交集了；也有少数的人 会表现得比较激动，直指你不爱国，数典忘祖，没有好好回报国家社会对你的栽培。
外国人就不同了。在他们的理解和认知里，我们亚洲人有很多应该是很 想家的，不习惯这里的西方文化。所以他们都会预先假定你会学成而归。我不是说他们排外不欢迎外来移民，而是他们本身也很难想象要离乡背井到文化迥异的亚洲 国家长期定居的滋味是如何。如果你说你不打算回国，他们会问，大马真的很难找到你属意的本行职业吗？他们并没有质疑你爱国与否。
我们的首相署部长纳兹里早前直言不讳：“海外国民若爱国为何不回国投票？”。言下之意，似乎要给国人制造一个印象，既是：在海外生活的国民都是‘逃兵’，是不爱国的。一些政府官员有时也有意无意地挑起国人放弃国籍移民海外的官方记录，来例证和数落当中移民族群比例最高的华人是最不爱国的。问题是，在海外生活的国民，是不是 真的有很多要放弃国籍或都不爱国了？爱国到底是要怎样表现才算呢？那个席卷全球各重镇都市的净选盟709运动，数百数千个身穿黄衣出席集会的海外大马人算不算？
我有一位非常要好的朋友，目前仍在国内苦待时机，前往她憧憬已久的海外生活和工作机会。她知道我的背景和志向，可是她总是不明白，为什么口 口声声说爱国的我，却可以长期待在海外不回来？她说，她恨不得快点离开这里，尤其是脱离在国内长期承受工作和生活巨大压力折磨的苦海，去寻找她更自由宽阔 的天空。
诸如爱情，爱国也不能当饭吃，并不是每个人都把爱国放在第一位。我不怪我那些已是专业人士的朋友总是抱怨马来西亚（政府）的不好，对他们 是何等的不公平，如何限制他们的事业发展。现在他们的待遇难道是他们对称应得的吗？若不，又怎能忍心责怪他们欲离开的念头呢？又有谁会很主动，很情愿，很 自然地想离开一个有着自己最熟悉的环境、语言、文化，亲戚朋友和点点滴滴成长生活记忆的家乡，到一个陌生的国度去闯呢？除了事业的发展机遇，一定还有其他 的考量左右他们这个最终出走的无奈决定，例如追求更安全舒适的家园和更健康的生活环境、更高的工作收入和福利、更高素质的孩子教育，更公平和更自由的社会 机制或更好的未来生活保障等等现实条件。单凭一个爱国论又可以绑住多少人的心呢？政府如果真心希望人才回流和不出走的话，看来需要在体制上大刀阔斧的改 革，才能改善种种不利的因素把人才留住。让他们也留得开心自在，这样爱国和个人生活抉择之间就没有冲突了。
原稿刊登于《联合日报》专栏。
有趣的是，提问 的人各有不同的假设。比方说，国人会首先认为你打算不回国的（可能心想：不然干嘛你待在那里那么久？）。你如果说你有回国的意愿，他们反而会惊讶你的决 定。他们会问你，到底你还需要多少年才可以获得PR（永久居留证），然后再问你为何不继续留多几年直到拿到PR呢？仿佛没拿到PR实属可惜，而且不明智。 有者反而还会说，马来西亚有什么好？外国（通常是指西方国家）生活条件多么美好，赚钱又比国内多，当很多国人想冲出国外工作生活的机会都没有的时候，怎么 你却那么傻急着想回来？他们质问。当中有人甚至建议你干脆移民就好了。
如果你的答案是‘不会回国’，国人的反应可能就会比较矛盾和复杂了。有者会很羡慕，认为你这样做是很合乎情理，然后祝福你，说如果他们是你也会作 同样的决定；有者会稍微叹气，虽然表现得很明白，但感觉好像很快就会失去了这位亲人或朋友，往后各自过着两个平行线的生活，不会再有交集了；也有少数的人 会表现得比较激动，直指你不爱国，数典忘祖，没有好好回报国家社会对你的栽培。
外国人就不同了。在他们的理解和认知里，我们亚洲人有很多应该是很 想家的，不习惯这里的西方文化。所以他们都会预先假定你会学成而归。我不是说他们排外不欢迎外来移民，而是他们本身也很难想象要离乡背井到文化迥异的亚洲 国家长期定居的滋味是如何。如果你说你不打算回国，他们会问，大马真的很难找到你属意的本行职业吗？他们并没有质疑你爱国与否。
我们的首相署部长纳兹里早前直言不讳：“海外国民若爱国为何不回国投票？”。言下之意，似乎要给国人制造一个印象，既是：在海外生活的国民都是‘逃兵’，是不爱国的。一些政府官员有时也有意无意地挑起国人放弃国籍移民海外的官方记录，来例证和数落当中移民族群比例最高的华人是最不爱国的。问题是，在海外生活的国民，是不是 真的有很多要放弃国籍或都不爱国了？爱国到底是要怎样表现才算呢？那个席卷全球各重镇都市的净选盟709运动，数百数千个身穿黄衣出席集会的海外大马人算不算？
我有一位非常要好的朋友，目前仍在国内苦待时机，前往她憧憬已久的海外生活和工作机会。她知道我的背景和志向，可是她总是不明白，为什么口 口声声说爱国的我，却可以长期待在海外不回来？她说，她恨不得快点离开这里，尤其是脱离在国内长期承受工作和生活巨大压力折磨的苦海，去寻找她更自由宽阔 的天空。
诸如爱情，爱国也不能当饭吃，并不是每个人都把爱国放在第一位。我不怪我那些已是专业人士的朋友总是抱怨马来西亚（政府）的不好，对他们 是何等的不公平，如何限制他们的事业发展。现在他们的待遇难道是他们对称应得的吗？若不，又怎能忍心责怪他们欲离开的念头呢？又有谁会很主动，很情愿，很 自然地想离开一个有着自己最熟悉的环境、语言、文化，亲戚朋友和点点滴滴成长生活记忆的家乡，到一个陌生的国度去闯呢？除了事业的发展机遇，一定还有其他 的考量左右他们这个最终出走的无奈决定，例如追求更安全舒适的家园和更健康的生活环境、更高的工作收入和福利、更高素质的孩子教育，更公平和更自由的社会 机制或更好的未来生活保障等等现实条件。单凭一个爱国论又可以绑住多少人的心呢？政府如果真心希望人才回流和不出走的话，看来需要在体制上大刀阔斧的改 革，才能改善种种不利的因素把人才留住。让他们也留得开心自在，这样爱国和个人生活抉择之间就没有冲突了。
原稿刊登于《联合日报》专栏。
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Sunday, October 09, 2011
Being different
I hate to be indifferent. Because being indifferent means you are lazy. If you want to make a difference, then you cannot be indifferent than the rest, or else why the success would pick you not others? Want to make a difference then you cannot be lazy.
Never underestimate what you can achieve or what your potential could be, 'cause you would never know unless you do your best.
Never underestimate what you can achieve or what your potential could be, 'cause you would never know unless you do your best.
Break
A break is good for most working people (even better for hardcore workaholics), but break↑ (relationship) or break↓ (machine or equipment) is no good.
parody answer to my friend's FB status post
my reply: If you want to make God cry, then tell him again that you were just joking and that you really don't know.
2) friend: oh I don't give a shit!
my reply: but you can take one?
正義感
正義感應該是與生俱來的，因為人應該有顆憐憫之心，對身邊的不公不義的事物不平則鳴，是善良的人性。只是現今有很多人已被麻木不仁，失去了善良的人性，學會了自私怕事怕死，結果很容易地就站在正義的對立面（因為最後往往變成了打壓善良人性的幫兇）
Thursday, October 06, 2011
Life is not perfect, but you can always make your own choices
I was told by a close friend about her deep discontent in life. She regrets that she opted for the life decision in the past, to the point of the past keeps haunting back to herself.
Of course, I know everything about her right from the start. I told her that life is not perfect, we tend to make decisions which leads to certain consequences. Sometimes, if not most of the time, not every choice we have in our hands would lead to the ideal situation. Life is about give and take, gain and loss. In this less than perfect world, if she insists everything to work in her way, this could make her life very miserable.
I analysed for her that, in that junction of life she used to stand before, she had 3 choices:
1st one would mean her partner gives up (or temporarily suspended) his better career prospect, just to go back to home country to be with her. The huge benefit of this decision is to resolve the Long Distance Relationship once and for all (as LDR is being the major discontent point for her), and stabilize the long-running relationship. That also means that her partner's sacrifice for something he values even more -- love and lover. This is most of the time seen by some people as a 'loss' for him, and also loss for her, as she also dreams of migrating and staying at overseas. The other benefit is that he would not feel guilty of breaking bond (that requires a big sum of repayment), as he was a sponsored scholar.
2nd one would be she let him to continue the specialisation opportunity in his career, while still keeping themselves LD apart for 3 or 4 more years. This is arguably the worst choice, as this would mean both sides would be suffering for longer time and may not eventually get together and overcome the LDR. But she told me she yearns for this choice, as this would make him feel better and put him and her less pressure from the families and society. (Overseas returns are far few in between, I presume, people would be always be rather surprised and very interested to ask -- why don't you stay there for better life?)
3rd one, would require herself to give up her profession and just migrate there to join him, as her professional qualification in Malaysia would not be automatically recognised by the new country. She did not consider this that time, because she was so reluctant to let go of what she already have, and migrated there just to be a housewife doing nothing. I also presume, the loss heavily on her own self, would be harder for her to take.
So, whatever choice she makes, would lead to different scenario, and would mean certain losses. No perfect one. From the point of view of the current status they are, I do not think that she made the wrong or bad choice, at least the relationship still going strong although life in Malaysia is tough. But she was totally occupied by the losses and the consequences he and she are facing right now, forgetting about what she is currently gaining from the decision --- isn't that the relationship always her top priority? Now she's got that !!!
Past is something you cannot undo, but what you can change is your future. Who says it is not possible to get the things you want in future? Even though by trying so would also sometimes mean that you need some sacrifices and patience and luck along the way.
I would advise her to look at the bright side now and in future (which can still change), and not living in the past looking at the dark side now. Life cannot be perfect, but you can still salvage the best from wherever whenever you are now. It is not as bad as you thought.
Of course, I know everything about her right from the start. I told her that life is not perfect, we tend to make decisions which leads to certain consequences. Sometimes, if not most of the time, not every choice we have in our hands would lead to the ideal situation. Life is about give and take, gain and loss. In this less than perfect world, if she insists everything to work in her way, this could make her life very miserable.
I analysed for her that, in that junction of life she used to stand before, she had 3 choices:
1st one would mean her partner gives up (or temporarily suspended) his better career prospect, just to go back to home country to be with her. The huge benefit of this decision is to resolve the Long Distance Relationship once and for all (as LDR is being the major discontent point for her), and stabilize the long-running relationship. That also means that her partner's sacrifice for something he values even more -- love and lover. This is most of the time seen by some people as a 'loss' for him, and also loss for her, as she also dreams of migrating and staying at overseas. The other benefit is that he would not feel guilty of breaking bond (that requires a big sum of repayment), as he was a sponsored scholar.
2nd one would be she let him to continue the specialisation opportunity in his career, while still keeping themselves LD apart for 3 or 4 more years. This is arguably the worst choice, as this would mean both sides would be suffering for longer time and may not eventually get together and overcome the LDR. But she told me she yearns for this choice, as this would make him feel better and put him and her less pressure from the families and society. (Overseas returns are far few in between, I presume, people would be always be rather surprised and very interested to ask -- why don't you stay there for better life?)
3rd one, would require herself to give up her profession and just migrate there to join him, as her professional qualification in Malaysia would not be automatically recognised by the new country. She did not consider this that time, because she was so reluctant to let go of what she already have, and migrated there just to be a housewife doing nothing. I also presume, the loss heavily on her own self, would be harder for her to take.
So, whatever choice she makes, would lead to different scenario, and would mean certain losses. No perfect one. From the point of view of the current status they are, I do not think that she made the wrong or bad choice, at least the relationship still going strong although life in Malaysia is tough. But she was totally occupied by the losses and the consequences he and she are facing right now, forgetting about what she is currently gaining from the decision --- isn't that the relationship always her top priority? Now she's got that !!!
Past is something you cannot undo, but what you can change is your future. Who says it is not possible to get the things you want in future? Even though by trying so would also sometimes mean that you need some sacrifices and patience and luck along the way.
I would advise her to look at the bright side now and in future (which can still change), and not living in the past looking at the dark side now. Life cannot be perfect, but you can still salvage the best from wherever whenever you are now. It is not as bad as you thought.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)