More than often, the preference to be alone is regarded as ‘weird’ or ‘anti-social’ behaviour by some people. Of course, that is their view. I know, no man can be an island on his own. People in the society that we live in should be interactive. However, what comes to my understanding is, relationship and interaction with people have many ways to achieve and forge.
I believe in communicating with people with hearts. Socializing in a big group is just not my way. Sometimes even in a crowd of many people surround me, it does not make me feel any better (not being bored or alone), in a sharp contrast of my silence against the noise. I try to be more open for things to talk about, ‘cause I think some people might probably hard to find topics to chat with me. Well, I admit sometimes I could be a bit passive in the conversation, seems like I’m better at throwing a chain of questions waiting for other’s response than saying my words or expressing myself or telling my own stories.
To somebody’s surprise, they view the things that I have done in the past or I am doing sometimes as unbelievable (or unacceptable) – like going to Rock gig alone, have lunch or dinner alone (sometimes), on a trip cycling alone to Greenwich, drinking beer alone in my room while watching movie, can ‘survive’ in my room without even stepping out the front door for the whole day and even plan to travel alone to other European countries. Well, I must say that, not all the times I would just like it that way. It is my feelings that determine all the actions I take. I do not mind that I have no company in many cases. To me, to have some like-minded friend to join me is considered as a bonus, but it is seriously not a prerequisite. I will still go on doing what I like in the end. Take an example, if you are going to a rock gig, there is no one has the same interest as you for that band or music, then you just can’t force people to go. The main purpose of going to watch a rock gig is to watch band performance, not watching your friends or talking to your friends. I have other better time to do that. Also, sometimes, the time or something is just not right for the plan, I would scrape it and do it on my own only.
Learn to live with yourself is a state of ‘art’. One must always ‘communicate’ well with oneself, for self-seeking purpose and always have to reflect well and rethink about current situation. On the other hand, I often consider myself having a slightly towards inferior personality but sometimes have acts that contradict itself too. Maybe I looked like or I am a lone-ranger sometimes, but I am fine, really. Please don’t have a presumption that I alienated from the society. Actually I am not. I would like to join any event if I feel like doing so. So, do ask me, and invite me. I’ll also ask for your company if I wanted to.
